8. Red
8
RED
I wake up at the crack of dawn after spending the night tossing and turning every which way.
It wasn’t just because today’s the day we put Wy on a plane to start this new adventure of his, I also had a very strange dream about the mountains, goats, ducks –and for the first time in years–I dreamed of Anna.
Giving up on getting any sort of rest, I quietly make my way out of the room I’m sharing with Wyatt and make my way downstairs.
I grab a takeout coffee from the gas station next to our motel then take a seat on a bench facing the rising sun, hoping to steal a moment of peace for myself before what I know will be a hard, emotional day.
That dream still bugs me, and I remember there’s someone in my life that knows exactly what it’s like to have strange dreams with hidden messages. If anyone can help me work it out, it’s her. Checking the time to make sure it’s not too early, even for ranchers, I dial her number and lift my phone to my ear.
“Red Grayson, do you even know what a vacation is?” she says by way of an answer, making me grin.
“Leah Barnes soon-to-be Roberts, good mornin’ to you too.”
She sighs but I can still hear the smile in her voice. “Good mornin’ Red, and before you ask, the ranch is still standin’, the animals are still alive, and the rest of the men haven’t destroyed any thin’ or any one . Satisfied?”
I chuckle. “Good to hear but I didn’t doubt the ranch would be looked after. Wouldn’t have left otherwise. That’s not why I’m callin’.”
She goes quiet. “Wait… did you have a dream too?”
“Too? You had one?”
Lee is what we call a Seer. She is who the mountain spirit that lives within Bull Mountain has chosen to communicate with. Because of that, Lee often has dreams about what is going to happen in future, and more recently which one of us will be next to hear the mountain’s Call.
Nevertheless, I’m shocked to hear she’s had a dream about me. The Call was what finally got her and Colt together, then one by one it befell on the Graham brothers–Rhett, then Landry, Toby, and last by not least, Austin.
I’ve always been pretty clear that I didn’t want to hear the Call because I’ve already had my time with my One. There has only ever been one soulmate for me, and that was my Anna. No one is lucky to have two soulmates in a lifetime…
Lee takes a deep breath before she speaks. “This one was a little confusin'. You were standin' on top of the mountain, under the big Oak tree between the peaks, and you were searchin’ the ranch for somethin', but–”
“I couldn’t find it. My back was sore too.”
“Yep. Then Nelly jumped on you like you were a horse. It was all very weird."
“You’re tellin’ me,” I mutter. “Did you see Anna in your dream as well?”
“She was there, but not in person. It was like her soul was with you, if that makes sense. You were happy at first then the longer you looked over the land, your smile fell.” She goes quiet. “Does that mean anythin’ to you, Red? I may be used to havin’ these dreams and usually I can work out the meanin’ behind them. This one has me a little lost.”
“That makes the two of us,” I mutter, sipping my coffee. “I still can’t make any sense of it.”
“I guess the one thing we know is that you’re goin’ to be next to hear the Call.”
A groan escapes me. “I never wanted it, Lee. You know that. I don’t need the reward of a soulmate when I’ve already had my turn. Anna was my One, I know it.”
Lee falls silent for a good long while, so much so that I have to pull the phone away from my ear to check that the call hasn't dropped out. "You probably don't want to hear this, but sometimes we either don’t know what we want, or we aren’t ready to admit it.”
“Lee…” I growl, sensing where this is going.
“Don’t shoot the messenger, Red. You know I care about you—we all do—but maybe it’s time to open your mind up to the possibility of?—”
“Nope. Don’t want to hear it.”
"OK," she rushes out. "I respect that. I do. Just know that I'm only a phone call away if you do want to talk about it, or anythin; else. Yeah?” I nod but don’t reply. “What I do know is what I’ve seen over the years when you talk about Anna.”
My heart clenches at the mention of Anna’s name, a mix of longing and pain swirling inside me. “What’s that?”
"You love her just as much as you did when she was alive, and you always will. There's always laughter in your eyes and a fondness that I'd never experienced before until I met Colt. It's the same thing I see in my parents and everyone else who is with their soulmate.”
A lump forms in my throat. “I miss her every day, Leah. I only see her in my dreams but every time, it makes me miss her more.”
"I know, Red. Anna was your anchor, your guidin’ star. But sometimes even stars can fade so that you can see new ones shine. You may have shut yourself off from ever findin' love again—and that's totally fine—but I want you to know that even if you did develop feelin's for someone else, it wouldn’t mean you’d cherish Anna any less. She was your One, your wife, Wyatt's mom. She's always goin' to be a part of you, and I know she would want you to be happy."
“Why’s everyone askin’ me if I’m happy. I am happy,” I reply automatically.
“I think you think you’re truly happy and fulfilled but that comes from lookin’ after everyone else and worrin’ about everyone else. You are allowed to be a little selfish now and then, Red.”
“You sound a lot like Mags when you dish out these little life lessons of yours.”
“She’s a wise woman so I’ll take that as a compliment,” Lee replies, the smile in her voice making its return. “I’ve also learned a lot from fallin’ in love and watchin’ the others do it too. There’s a lot to be said for knowin’ that you’re with your soulmate, someone who’s destined for you just like you’re destined for them. You know?”
“Hmm.” I catch sight of Wyatt walking toward me, making me realize just how long I’ve been sitting outside. “Wy’s just woken up and found me, so I better go.”
“OK, Red. I’m always just a text or phone call away. We all are. Remember that.”
I huff out a sigh. “I know, Lee. Thank you. I mean it.”
“Let me leave you with this then–just keep an open mind. You never know what the universe or the mountain spirit has planned for you. Whatever happens, we’re all here to help you through it.”
“I hear you, Lee.”
“Good. Now say hi to Wy from all of us and tell him safe travels. We’re lookin’ forward to hearin’ about his adventures when he comes back.”
I grin, earning a curious glance from my boy as he plops down on the bench beside me. “Will do, Lee. Make sure you keep those men in line for me, yeah?”
She giggles in my ear. “Already doin’ that. Talk soon.”
Ending the call, I drop my hand holding the phone back into my lap.
“You’re up early,” Wy says. “You OK?”
“Yeah. Had a rough night but this here cup of joe is helpin’ some.”
“Bet it’s not the same as cowboy brew though,” he muses.
“Definitely not.”
“Lucky I swiped the recipe so I can make it when I’m out at sea,” he says with a cheeky grin.
I take a good look at him, trying to gauge his mood. “Are you excited?”
A slow-growing smile takes over his face. "Yeah. Kinda itchin' to get out there. Not to leave you. Never that. It’s just that I’ve been lookin' forward to this for so long, and now I’ve got my chance to get out there and do it. You know?”
“Yeah, kid. Same as when I started with the rodeo. Wanted it so much I could almost taste it.”
His eyes widen. “That’s exactly it.” I offer him my coffee, which he takes off my hands. “Are you ready?”
My head jerks. “What do you mean?”
He shrugs. “I dunno. It’s always been you and me–since Mom, I mean. Now it’s goin’ to be just you.”
“And Mags.”
“And Rhett, Austin, Toby, Landry, and Colt,” he adds.
I grin as he hands me back the coffee cup. “Them too. I won't be alone if that's what you're worried about."
He squares his shoulders, narrowing his eyes as he does it. “I’m allowed to be worried. You’re my dad.”
“Damn, kid. Now you’re hittin’ me in the feels.”
“The feels? Since when did you say feels ?”
A snort escapes me as I shrug. “Maybe I’m just feelin’ it out.”
Wy lets out a groan. “Please don’t start with the dad jokes.”
“That’s not a dad joke. That would be me askin’ what you call a happy cowboy?”
“I don’t know. What do you call a happy cowboy?”
“A jolly rancher." I chuckle at my joke.
Wyatt snorts, a smile playing on his lips. "You're a goof sometimes."
“Hey, I’m happy to be a goof if it gets you grinnin’ like that.” I tap my temple. “Committin’ it to memory, so I don’t forget it while you’re out there in the great abyss.”
He rolls his eyes. “It’s the ocean, Dad. Not a black hole. I’ll be back buggin’ you on the ranch soon enough.”
“Lookin’ forward to it, kid.”
I finish the last of the coffee and stand up, cracking my back as I do before dropping the cup in the trash bin. “You ready to pack up and head out?”
“Yep. Mags was already up and gettin’ ready when I came down here to find you.”
“Good. Then let’s go get you on that plane. Sooner you’re gone, sooner you’re back.”
“Have you got your phone charger?” I ask.
“Yep.”
“What about all the paperwork the captain wanted you to bring with you?” I continue.
“Yes, Dad.”
“What about–”
“ Dad… ” Wy says, shaking his head at me.
“What?”
“I love and appreciate you, but stop worryin’. I’ve got this. Besides, you’ve been checkin’ that I’ve got everythin’ I need for the past two weeks. If I don’t have it now—which would be a damn miracle in itself—then I’ll cope fine without it, I swear.”
I take a deep breath, trying to calm the nerves that have reappeared now that we’re standing at the airport about to say goodbye. “I know, kid. I just–you’re about to do somethin’ even I’ve never done, and it makes me so damn proud. But nervous too. I still remember holdin’ you in my arms the day you were born. Now look at you, all grown up and headin’ out to sea.”
Wyatt chuckles as he zips up his duffel bag. I don’t miss the way he’s blinking a little faster than normal. “Just because I’m goin’ fishin’ doesn’t mean things are goin’ to change between us. You know that, right?”
“I know,” I sigh, trying to reassure myself more than him. “It’s just… a big change, that’s all.”
His flight is called over the intercom and it hits home that this is it. He’s really going.
Wy walks over to Mags and pulls her in for a huge hug. "You better be prepared. The minute my boots step back into town, I'm comin' to the Loaded Hog for the biggest plate of Corned Beef Hash you can make."
“Tell me the date and time and you can have as much as you want, Wy. Anythin’ you want, you hear?”
He nods and turns his head, murmuring in her ear. When they pull apart, they lock eyes and have a silent conversation that ends when Mags cups his cheek and lifts her chin. “Always, Wy. You don’t have to ask.”
I swallow hard as he takes the few steps he needs to reach me.
“I’ll keep in touch as much as I can, when I can.”
“You better,” I say, my voice rough now.
“I know, Dad. I promise,” Wyatt replies softly, his eyes reflecting the same emotions swirling within me.
He wraps me in a tight embrace, just like he did when he was a boy. The familiar scent of his cologne mixed with the leather of his jacket envelops me, and I hold onto this moment, trying to etch it into my memory.
"Proud of you, kid. Your mom would be too. I just know it.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh yeah,” I say with an extra tight squeeze, making him grunt before I let him go just as there’s another call for his flight.
Wyatt pulls back and holds out his arm for Mags to join us. The moment her hand wraps around the back of my neck, my whole body jolts and my heart skips a beat.
The three of us stand there in the middle of the terminal just clinging to each other before Wyatt clears his throat and we all step back. Mags leans into my side. It’s like she knows I need her there without asking.
Wy gives us both a small, reassuring smile. "I'll see you both soon." Then with one last questioning look to Mags, he bends down and hoists his carry-on bag over his shoulder.
"Take care out there, kid," I manage to say before he turns and walks toward the gate. My heart feels as heavy as it’s ever been when he disappears into the crowd of travelers. Out of instinct, I rub my palm over my sternum.
“You OK?” Mags says softly, placing her palm on my bare arm, a spark of something zapping between us. “You've done a good job with him. He's got this. You know it, I know it, and most importantly, he knows it. We’ve got to trust in that. It’s all we can do.”
And there she is, the wise woman strikes again.
“Yeah.”
“Wanna go somewhere and distract ourselves for a bit before headin’ back to the motel?”
I turn my head to meet her eyes. “What did you have in mind?”
Her lips curve up with a slow-growing but no less bright smile. "You leave that to me, Red Grayson. All you’ve got to do is drive.”