20. Nathan #2
I didn’t get to explore Cas’s body in the way I wanted during his heat, so I’m looking forward to taking my time with him.
One day soon, Kato and I will seek out his sensitive spots, discovering what makes him squirm and what makes him scream with pleasure.
Tonight, though, I alone will lavish every inch of my attention on him.
To a backdrop of him singing a sad, off-key song in the shower, I put fresh sheets on the bed. They were a recent purchase—pink and silky, just like Cas’s ribbons. Perfect for him to squirm around on.
Speaking of his ribbons, I gather the ones I ordered specifically for this purpose. Who knew being mated would make such an immediate dent in my paltry bank account? I can’t resent it, though. I’d spend every penny I own on my mates if it made them happy.
As I lay the ribbons down on the bed, I can’t help but feel a pang in my chest. I wonder if Kato would handle being restrained. I think he’d find it equal parts frustrating and arousing. Watching him struggle would be quite the entertainment.
I sit on the bed and wait for Cas. Dressed in only a towel, he wanders into the room, an ember of appreciation burning in his dark eyes when he sees me waiting for him. I inhale sharply when he bites his lip and drops his towel.
He’s stunning. His tight little body, all narrow hips and sharp angles, has a healthy glow that wasn’t there when Kato and I first found him.
Time outdoors sitting in the sun hasn’t left him tanned exactly, but it’s put some colour into his skin.
It suits him. His cheeks are rosy from the excessive heat of his shower, a sweet flush that spreads down his neck and chest at my obvious appreciation.
And then my eyes are drawn to his scar, no less lovely than the rest of him, bisecting his lower stomach. His hands twitch, like he’s resisting the urge to cover it. “Don’t hide,” I say softly. “I want to see all of you, always.”
His blush deepens. “Yes, Alpha.”
He knows what he’s doing, calling me Alpha like that, looking up at me with his big doe eyes.
I can’t believe he’s mine.
The moment he spots the ribbons, his eyes widen in delight. I let the one in my hand unfurl. “You’re my mate now. I want you to know what that means to me. What this”—I brandish the ribbon—“means to me.”
I stand and take a step towards him and his breath hitches.
Not in fear, though. Anticipation. His pulse flutters so wildly I can see every beat of his heart in his chest. He looks up at me, throat exposed in the most perfect gesture of submission.
Mine and Kato’s bites are unmistakable on his neck, but I want another way of showing he’s mine.
I’m greedy for it, I know that. Desire burns deep within me, intense and primal. Marking Cas isn’t enough. I crave more.
So, I hold up the ribbon. “May I?”
He glances at the length of silk. I don’t think he fully knows what I’m asking for, given his creased brow, but he nods anyway, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He holds up his wrists in offering. “Please, Alpha.”
I smile, rubbing a comforting hand over his, offered so sweetly in supplication. “Not for your wrists—not this one. It’s for your neck. Like a collar.”
“Oh.” He rests his fingers at the base of his throat, mirroring the sort of possessive hold I long to take. “Most wolves don’t like to be collared,” he muses aloud. I hold my breath, giving him the space to work through his feelings.
Finally, he lifts his chin, meeting my eyes. “Put it on me, please.”
I sigh, my relief palpable. “Good boy,” I murmur, before wrapping the ribbon twice around his throat and tying the ends off in a neat bow. “A present, just for me.”
He fiddles with it, rubbing the material between his thumb and forefinger. “Soft,” he says. Consciously or not, he’s rubbing his thighs together, the flush on his chest spreading.
“You like it, then?”
“Yes. It feels…” he trails off, lips pressing together as he thinks. I can practically see his brain whirring. “Comfy. Safe. Like I belong here with you. Like I belong to you.”
A satisfied growl builds in the back of my throat, and I grasp his shoulder, right where my mark lies. “You do.”
Cas arches into me, his entire body a live wire under my touch. Sparks ignite in me, and I lean down to crush my lips to his. As always, he tastes as sweet as freshly picked strawberries when I sweep my tongue into his mouth. He whimpers, the desperate, needy sound sending me to new heights.
Without breaking the kiss, I lift him, his legs winding around my waist and arms thrown around my neck.
I love how much bigger I am than him, how easy it is for me to hold him aloft.
All the better for throwing him around the bedroom.
My leg doesn’t even twinge with discomfort, he’s so light in my arms. I could stay like this forever, losing myself in his mouth.
Eventually I break the kiss, leaving my forehead pressed to his. His dark eyes are glazed, almost like he’s drunk. Knowing I can reduce him to this with my lips alone is a heady feeling.
I lay him down on the bed, placing him right in the centre. He sinks into the mattress, looking up at me with a coy expression.
“You love wrapping these around yourself,” I say, toying with the bow around his neck.
Cas nods, fingers drifting up to tangle with mine.
I lean down, brushing my stubble along the line of his jaw before pressing my lips to his ear. “How would you like me to wrap them all around you? Your wrists. Thighs. Everywhere.” I nibble on his earlobe, an adorable squeak bursting out of him when I bite down.
“Like a mummy?” he asks.
I chuckle. “I don’t think you’re quite ready for mummification.
No, I mean to adorn you with them. I know I tied your hands during your heat, but honestly I can hardly remember it.
This time,” I say, trailing my fingers down Cas’s chest and circling a nipple, “I want you to feel every ribbon. I know how soothing you find the small ones. Let me cover you in them.”
Cas’s breath hitches as I lightly tease the tight bud. “I want that, too,” he gasps. “I need to feel something, Nathan. Anything that isn’t this bone-deep emptiness.”
“All you have to do is lie there. A pretty little doll for me to play dress-up with.” I take hold of his chin and angle his face up so I can kiss him again, sweeter this time, indulging in the taste of his lips and savouring every pleased sound he makes.
They rise in pitch and intensity as I touch him everywhere, warming his skin.
My fingers press into the supple flesh of his thighs.
My hands ghost over the jutting bones of his hips.
This is so far from the frantic coupling of his heat. If it wasn’t for the third in our triad not being here, it would be perfect.
But he isn’t. And it’s not. But it’s as close as it’s going to get right now.
Even with Cas writhing under me, choosing to focus solely on him instead of worrying about Kato isn’t easy.
My absent alpha is a constant echo in my mind.
Everything I do—from unfurling the first of my prepared ribbons to sucking one of Cas’s pink nipples into my mouth—comes with an imagined comment from Kato.
How I long for him to be beside me, distracting Cas with kisses and stroking his hair as I focus on wrapping the first ribbon around his bicep.
It would overwhelm our little mate in the best of ways, not let him focus on one sensation and instead have him mindless with desire.
Whoever said that absence makes the heart grow fonder is a cunt, because all I feel is an all-consuming longing and a not-insignificant amount of pain. I wonder if he can feel us now, if he knows what we’re doing.
I can’t feel Kato—not like I can feel Cas through our bond, how his anticipation builds with each tight loop of the ribbon. His emotions are thrumming beneath my skin, resonating with the prowling treads of my wolf.
There’s nothing but a gaping absence where Kato should be. A dullness where there should be vibrance. It has to be the distance and dismissal from the pack. My bonds with the McLeod pack haven’t been strong since childhood, but the fleeting connection I had with Kato felt solid and unbreakable.
I guess I was wrong.
Focusing back on my mate lying beneath me—present both physically and mentally—I tie a ribbon around his other bicep. His skin is as soft as the silk I’m decorating it with. Already, his eyes are half-lidded. I haven’t even got to restraining him yet and he’s slipping into something like subspace.
I didn’t think I’d ever find someone like Cas, who fits me in every way, let alone finding two mates who can give me what I need.
Didn’t think one of them would be a beta, either.
Cas’s unnatural heat may have drawn us together in the first place, but I’m convinced that even if it hadn’t, I’d have fallen for him.
And who wouldn’t?
His parted lips let out a sweet mewl when I take hold of his wrists, pressing them above his head.
I flex my fingers—not tight enough to bruise or hurt, just enough to watch his chest heave as he realises he’s at my mercy.
His dark eyes flash—with trust and a hint of heat.
Even so, I wait to see how he deals with the hold.
When he continues to gaze up at me in anticipation, I lean my face down close to his.
“Keep your hands there for me, little ghost.”
“Yes, Alpha.”
Releasing my hold, I pause before reaching for the ribbons. Cas doesn’t so much as twitch from where I left him. “Good boy,” I croon. His cheeks bloom crimson at the praise.
I’ll tell him he’s good every damn day of our lives if it means I’ll get to see that expression. Sweet contentedness. Utter bliss.