Chapter 9
Blake was ready to leave when her sister threw a hissy fit.
She was screaming about her triggers when the nurse came in to tell her to shut up.
It might have been funny if not for the fact that she actually felt sorry for her sister.
Robin was being treated like everyone else on this floor, and it did her heart good that no one was taking her bullshit.
Not even ten minutes into her visit, and she had a headache.
Blake wanted to go home and hide in her bed; it depressed her so much that her sister would treat her this way.
“You should have come to see me before this.” Blake said nothing but sat in the chair that was across from Robin. “I’ve been waiting for you to come here and feel my suffering, too. You have no idea what your treating me like this, does to me.”
“I think I’ve been feeling better since you’ve been in here.
I know that you can’t hurt me, physically or mentally, while locked up in this hospital.
” Robin glared at her and told her that she was just being mean because she was far sicker than she was.
“I doubt very much that you know that for sure. I think you’ve gotten so used to having your own way when you claim that your depression is out of control that you’ve started using it for everything. ”
“I just like having things just so. And when you act out at me, it triggers my depression so badly that I can’t function.
While here, I’ve had to have a quiet time in my room while the others go on with their lives like nothing is wrong.
That’s why I know that my depression is worse than theirs.
No amount of socializing or playing group games is going to make me feel better.
” Blake told her that she should try to make friends.
“With these people? I don’t think so. I have enough trouble dealing with my staff.
I know you don’t know how that feels, but it’s difficult being rich. ”
“Oh, I don’t know. Reagan and I have a staff, and it’s been really nice.
Having someone to cook for us is the best, but I like having my bed made for me when I have to get up in the mornings too.
” Robin accused her of lying. “About what? The staff or the bed being made. Either way, I’m not going to be able to prove that we have staff, too, that you’ll be satisfied with, so let’s move on. What did you want to see me about?”
“Are you still married to that country doctor?” She said that she was very happily married to the doctor.
Then she asked her why. “I don’t like him.
He has no sympathy for sufferers like me.
He doesn’t believe that there is such a disease as depression.
I want you to divorce him and move in with me.
I’ve told you this before, and you got away with not doing it.
I’m going to have to insist that you do it when I get out so that I can keep an eye on you so that you don’t trigger my depression. ”
“How will I know if I’m triggering your depression if I live with you?
It seems to me that you’d want me to live as far away from you as I could get if I make you so depressed all the time.
And Reagan does too believe that depression is a disease.
He has patients that he sends to other doctors when he can no longer treat them.
” She called her a liar again. “Whatever floats your boat. I know that I’m telling the truth, and you should understand that I wouldn’t lie to you. ”
“Why? Why should I understand that you wouldn’t lie to me?
People lie all the time, and you’re no different.
You’ve made me depressed again, and I hope you’re happy.
” Blake shifted in her chair, wanting so badly to say something to her but not wanting to hear it from her either.
“You look pinched. What is it you’re thinking? Are you wanting to hurt me again?”
“I don’t seem to be able to help but hurt you all the time.” She said that was true, and she had to bite her lip again. “I think you’re just pissed off because things aren’t going your way. I don’t think that you’re depressed at all, but angry all the time.”
“I’ll have you know that I take the strongest medication there is for depression.
And my doctor can prove it. I’m not going to have him do that, however, because I’m the bigger person than you are.
” She didn’t know what to say about that, so she kept her mouth shut.
But it seemed to piss off Robin again that she didn’t answer whatever question was in her head at the time, so she got mad at her again.
“You are triggering me, Blake. I’ll not have it.
Why as it stands right now, I might have to be put on more medications if you don’t do as I want.
You know that when you act out, it makes me feel bad.
You just do that to try to get me into trouble.
They’ve told me here that I can’t start fights with people anymore, or they’ll put me out.
I need this place to have someone dealing with my depression. ”
“I’m sick of hearing about your depression.
” Robin opened and closed her mouth three times before Blake continued.
“Why can’t you be depressed without telling everyone?
I do it. I feel really rotten on some days, and I don’t run about accusing people of triggering me.
I just let it go so that I can focus on other things that might make me feel better about myself. ”
“Did you know that I wanted to kill myself because of you? I was going to, but I decided that I’d get better being in the hospital.
What do you think of that?” She looked so smug that she wanted to slap the shit right out of her.
“What are you going to do when you find out that I’ve tried to kill myself and you’re to blame?
I hope that it makes you feel like you’ve lost something important with me not around you anymore. ”
“If you really wanted to kill yourself, you would have done it by now.” She watched her sister for any sign that she might well do that.
“You’re not a nice person, Robin. I should have known that before now, but I’m just beginning to realize what a terrible person you’ve become.
There is no pleasing you either. You want to be upset all the time, and you won’t have anyone trying to make you less so.
I think you like being depressed all the time because you use it as a shield. ”
“What a thing to say to me. If I had my purse right now, I’d use it on you.
” She asked her what was in her purse. “Never you mind. It’s come in handy over the years, and I’ll not allow you to know how I use it.
You’ll want one for yourself, and that’s not going to happen.
It’s my way of dealing with people who trigger me. ”
“Reagan says you have a brick inside of it.” If she hadn’t been looking at her right at that moment, she might have missed the look of terror.
“So you do have a brick inside your purse. I did wonder why it hurt so badly when you hit me with it. You’ve been carrying around a weapon since I left home. Haven’t you?”
“It’s my comfort. You just stay out of my business and do as I tell you.
When I want you to have an opinion, I’ll ask you to give me one.
Not that I’ll heed your advice, but I don’t want to hear from you anymore about things you think are going on with me.
” Blake asked her about the brick again.
“So what if I carry around a brick. No one is the wiser about it, and it keeps me safe. I don’t have a gun, so I’m not hurting anyone when they make me use it on them. ”
“But you hurt me with it. You knocked me down hard enough that I had to have stitches, and you broke my wrist.” They both looked at the place that a cast had been only a short week ago. “You’re just lucky that I heal fast, or I’d not be able to work.”
“I’ve told you before that you don’t have to work.
When you come and live with me, you’ll know what living with staff is like.
” She told her that she wasn’t going to be living with her.
“You will, or I’ll have you arrested. I need you in my house so that I can have someone there who can calm me down. ”
“You said that I trigger you. I can’t do both.
You either want me around so that you have someone to complain to, or you want someone around you that you can blame for your being upset again.
Which, by my estimations, is all the time.
” She huffed at her sister and smiled when she told her not to do that again.
“You can’t have someone arrested because they won’t live with you anyway.
I think that one day with you and the police would help me find my own place to live, rather than living with you. You’re hard on a person.”
“Why are you so mean to me? I’ve done nothing wrong to warrant you treating me like this.
Don’t you know how ill I am? How much I suffer?
” She said that she did as she told her all the time.
“You’re going to regret treating me this way, Blake.
I think it’s all on that man that you’re married to.
Or think you’re married to. I have enough money that I can have it annulled in no time. What will you do then?”
“Have his children regardless.” She turned bright red in her anger, and Blake loved it.
“We talked about having them soon, too. Why, at this moment, I could be carrying his child. Do you know what that would make you? An aunt. Wouldn’t that be great to have about a dozen little ones around to help you with your depression?
I know that babies help me when I’m down. ”
“You will not have any children. Ever. I forbid it.” She said that it was her body and that she’d do what she wanted. “You’ll not or else, Blake. I’m not kidding you right now. I will not be around children at all. They’re messy and sticky, not to mention germ magnets.”