Chapter Ten
Juliana shivered from his tender touch when his fingers brushed her cheek.
She wanted him. What they had been doing had been the most pleasurable experiences of her life, but she knew there was more.
She knew no matter what occurred between them in the future, she wanted to experience her first time with Jude.
“I’m ready, Jude.” More than ever. Her entire body ached for his touch.
He furrowed his brow and swallowed hard. “What do you mean?”
“I wish for you to teach me about coupling.” She only hoped he wouldn’t refuse her request.
“Are you certain?” he asked. “If you give me your virginity, it can’t be undone.”
She was more certain than she had been about anything in her life.
“The entire world already believes I am no longer a virgin as a widow,” she reasoned. “I wish to do this with someone I trust, someone I know will take care. Please, Jude.”
He took her chin in his hand, and she shivered. “You understand that there could be a babe? I will do what I can to prevent it, but nothing is foolproof.”
Nodding, she swallowed hard and fixed her gaze on his. “I want you.”
Jude released a low growl and had her robe and night rail on the floor within a few heartbeats. He stepped towards her and backed her towards the bed. He kicked off his boots and tugged at his coats and shirts until they lay in a crumpled pile on the floor and he only donned his breeches.
She reached out to touch his chest, and he groaned. He grabbed her wrists and held her arms out to the side, lowering his head to flick her nipples with his tongue.
Her head fell back, and her legs threatened to give out from beneath her.
He scooped her up and tossed her on the bed. She giggled as she bounced on the mattress and fixed her gaze on his form when he pushed his breeches to the floor before climbing onto the bed. He hovered over her and dipped his head to her breasts again.
She arched her back underneath him, enjoying every suck and flick of his tongue.
Supporting himself with one elbow, he ran his free hand down her body until he reached her core. Slipping a finger inside of her, he moaned. “God, you are so wet. I think you are ready for me.”
He removed his finger and placed himself at her opening. His long, hard member pressed against her, and she anticipated him pushing himself inside her, but he paused.
“Tell me you are sure,” he pleaded. “I need to hear you say it.”
“I am sure,” she said. “Please. I need you more than I need to breathe, Jude.”
Juliana pushed herself harder against his body, and he brought the finger that had been inside her to her lips.
She licked his finger and then sucked it into her mouth as she had done to his cock every night over the past several evenings.
She tasted herself on his finger, and it was erotic, making her nothing but a wanton.
He responded by groaning and slowly pushing himself inside her. He removed his finger from her mouth and braced himself above her with a hand on each side of her head.
“This might hurt a bit, but it will only hurt this one time,” he said tenderly. “As much as it might kill me, I will go slow to allow you to adjust to me.”
She relished the sensation of him filling her up more and more with each inch of his cock. The only thing that might make the moment better was if she could feel his lips against hers while they joined together. She licked her lips, imagining what his kiss might taste like.
She winced when she felt a slight rush of pain. He stilled and let her adjust just as he said he would.
“Does it still hurt?” he asked after a few moments.
“No.” She moved against him, and it was the most wonderful thing she had ever felt. “I want more.”
He pulled himself back and then thrust forward, pushing himself all the way inside of her.
She had enjoyed the attention they gave each other with their hands and mouths, but having him inside of her was something more than she could have imagined.
She had never felt closer or more connected to another person.
He quickened his pace, and she instinctively wrapped her legs around him. With each of his movements, her panting became more erratic, and she dug her nails into his back.
“Jude,” she whispered in between moans.
“Nothing has ever felt better than being inside you, Juliana.”
She fought the tears that his words threatened to bring, clinging to him, as he increased the speed of his hips. Her legs gripped him tighter and she couldn’t stop herself from kissing and licking along his chest, in lieu of being able to kiss his lips.
He growled in response and shifted so he supported himself on hand, moving his free hand to lift her hip, which increased the sensation of his movement inside of her.
A few moments later, she shattered beneath his powerful thrusts.
Every inch of her body pulsated as waves of ecstasy crashed over her, so overwhelming that she had to stifle her moans with her palm to avoid waking the entire house.
He withdrew from her and whispered her name before liquid warmth pooled on her stomach. She glanced down at it before catching his gaze.
“If I had released inside of you, a babe would be more probable,” he said.
Jude left the bed and returned with a cloth.
He gently wiped between her legs and then cleaned her stomach.
“There may be blood, so I attempted to remove the evidence. Your maid may know what has occurred if it reached your sheets.”
“I’ll deal with that if the time comes,” she said. She pondered more of what he said. “What should happen if there were to be a babe?”
“Then we shall marry,” he said.
The lack of hesitation in his response surprised her. “Oh.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Do you think I am the type of man who wouldn’t acknowledge a child of his own making, or protect the child’s mother?”
Juliana shook her head. “Of course not. I believe you to be quite honorable. I just know you don’t wish to marry.” She fought the sadness that speaking the words caused her.
She pondered the notion of a marriage and family with Jude, which the more time she spent with him, sounded quite lovely. He set the cloth on her bedside table and laid on his side beside her in the bed. She shivered from his closeness, as well as the cool air in the room.
“I should go,” he said.
“No,” she pleaded. “Please stay for a while longer.”
He hesitated for several moments, appearing to be at war with his own thoughts, but he relented and pulled the blankets over them.
She turned on her side to face him. “That was even better than I knew it could be.” Never would she be able to find the words to express what he had awakened within her from their joining. Physically, as well as emotionally.
“I am glad you are pleased, my lady.”
Heat spread through her entire body from the grin he gave her.
“Would you think me a wanton if I said I wished to have you inside of me again?” she asked, assessing his reaction.
He laughed. “Not at all. Give me a moment and we can do so if you wish. I would very much like to do so.”
There went that grin again. Her entire body was aflame. The wicked thoughts and images of what they would do flooded her thoughts.
“I know there are other positions,” she said. “I saw them in the book of Diana’s I told you about.”
“You never told me how she came across such a book.”
“She found it in Graham’s study,” she explained. “Apparently, it belonged to the previous Powis. It was quite informative.”
His shoulders shook from his laughter. “I’m sure it was.”
“Do you have a favorite position?” she asked.
“Not necessarily,” he responded. “They are all enjoyable.”
His expression turned wicked, and she shivered, longing for him to touch her.
“I can show you one that will allow you to take me even deeper if you wish, assuming you don’t feel too sore.”
No longer able to control herself, she ran her hand along his chest and massaged his muscles. “I’m not sore at all. Tell me what to do.”
He drew a deep breath and licked his lips. Staring at his lips did things to her insides. He put his hand over hers. “Are you certain?”
“Without question.” That was an understatement. She was on fire and might actually erupt into flames if he didn’t take her again. She would never know how she went so long without experiencing such bliss.
“Hand me a pillow,” he said.
She did so, handing him one from the other side of the bed. He placed the pillow between them, near their midsections.
“Lay on your stomach, supporting your lower waist with the pillow.”
She came up on her knees and positioned herself behind the pillow and laid over it. Her bottom was elevated in the air and her arousal heightened when the cool air reached her core from the way her legs spread, leaving her bare to him.
“That’s it,” he drawled. He rose and positioned himself behind her. His finger circled her pearl, and she moved against his hand. Slowly, he slid two fingers inside her, causing her breath to catch.
“You are so fucking wet.”
She rocked against his hand and was frustrated with her lack of ability to move as she wished. She pushed up to her knees and took better control of her movement. Jude groaned, and she smiled, knowing he couldn’t see her face and how it delighted her to elicit such a response from him.
He removed his fingers and gripped her hips.
“I’m going to enter you from behind. Tell me if you don’t like this.”
She angled her bottom closer to him and arched her back so she was better positioned for what he would do to her. She moaned when he spread her legs further and his cock teased her opening, before he was inside her with a single thrust.
He was deeper inside her than she even knew was possible, and it was the most magnificent experience she had encountered thus far.
She was completely wanton and not ashamed of it.
She pushed back into him to meet his thrusts and actively engaged in the intensity of the moment without abandon.
He gripped her hips tighter and increased the speed that he entered her, groaning her name.
“Yes. Jude. Don’t stop.”
He turned feral, pumping himself into her. He put a bit of pressure on her back with one hand, so she laid her chest flat against the bed.
“You are so perfect,” he whispered. She almost hadn’t heard him between their heavy breathing and panting.
The slight change in position was almost more pleasurable than she could bear.
She covered her mouth and cried out when her core clenched around his cock from the intensity of it all, while the surges of pleasure reached her fingers and toes.
She rocked back against him, riding each wave of ecstasy, taking every second of bliss she could get before he abruptly removed himself from inside her and warmth pooled on the small of her back.
Her name escaped his lips again in a sweet whisper, which only made her long to kiss him.
“Remain still,” he said before he reached for the cloth and gently cleaned her again.
He laid on his side next to her and she shifted so that she faced him.
“You seem to have enjoyed that, my lady,” he said.
“Indeed, my lord.” It was even better that time. She hadn’t experienced enough to pick a favorite position, but she already believed it would be that one. If anything else could feel any better, it might kill her.
He grinned at her, and the simple act melted her heart.
His eyes slowly closed, and she laid there and watched him.
She waited for him to open his eyes and tell her how he must depart, the same as he did every evening.
If she were honest with herself, she might admit that she longed for him to stay.
His breathing became deep and even. She watched as his chest rose and fell with each breath, and gently placed her hand atop him.
Juliana knew she should wake him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do so.
She removed her hand and reached for the blankets, pulling them over both of them.
She settled back onto her pillow, watching him for several moments longer before she also drifted into a peaceful sleep.
*
“No, please,” Jude cried under his breath. The heartbreaking tone of his voice startled Juliana. Her eyes shot open, and she watched as he struggled and fought underneath the covers.
“Papa, stop.” He thrashed again. “Don’t hit me.”
Juliana’s hand flew over her mouth, and tears formed in her eyes. The moonlight enabled her to see the tortured expression on his face, and it broke her heart.
She scooted closer to him and embraced him, shifting his head to rest on her chest.
“You are safe. No one will hurt you,” she whispered, stroking his hair. “You will never be hurt again.”
The tears streamed down her face. She did not know what he might have suffered at the hands of his father, but she had every reason to believe that he was reliving some of his worst memories.
She recalled how he mentioned he didn’t sleep well, and in that moment she understood.
Her heart broke for him all over again, thinking about how he faced such terrors on his own.
He trembled in her arms, and she held him as tightly as she could. She stroked his back, and after a few moments he settled and his breathing was even, with his head still resting on her chest.
She leaned forward and kissed his brow. “You never have to face this alone,” she whispered, knowing he didn’t hear her.
She closed her eyes and accepted the truth she had been fighting since their first encounter. Not only was she in love with Jude, the most notorious rake of the ton who had sworn never to marry, but her heart would be his forever.