6
Morgan
I watch Xan walk to the bar and I can’t help but notice how toned their body is. Have they been working out? No. Xan doesn’t work out. Have they always had such strong back muscles? Moving all those cases of creamers and coffees at work would be like lifting weights. And squatting down to pick them up would give them those really toned glutes.
“Are you going to make a move on Xan, or can I?”
My head whips around and I glare at Danny. I don’t usually lose my temper, but right now I’m very close. “What?”
“I see the way you two look at each other. And how you held each other in the hallway outside your cabin. All I’m saying is, you better get your shit together, because Xan isn’t going to wait around forever. I think eighteen years is enough time.”
“We’ve only known each other for seventeen, and that’s none of your business.”
Danny shrugs. “It is if you swoop in and cock block me for no good reason.”
The idea of Danny getting his cock anywhere near Xan has me shaking. “What are you even saying right now?”
“Look, it’s obvious to me that you have more than friendly feelings for Xan, even if you’re ignoring them. And Xan is really into you. If you’re planning to do something about that, then I’ll back off. I’m not looking to be a jerk here. But if you’re not, then step out of the way and let Xan have some fun. This is a cruise. A vacation. Sailing, sex, and sun. Right?”
I shake my head and glance back at Xan and then back at Danny. “Xan isn’t into me. Plus, I’m straight.”
Danny snorts. “You know how this works, right? You can be into people and not genders. Maybe you’re straight, or maybe you’re Xansexual.”
“What’s that?”
Sighing, Danny pushes his sunglasses onto the top of his head. “In the most basic and un-nuanced explanation, you’re attracted to women, and Xan. Maybe there’s some other person out there in the big wide world who might do it for you the way they do, but the odds are that you probably won’t run into them ever. Who knows? I’m saying that maybe it might seem like you’re straight because the odds favor you being attracted to women. But it’s not one hundred percent. And Xan happens to be your exception. They are very yummy. It’d totally be understandable.”
“What would be understandable?“
I whip around to face Xan. They hand me a water, and I take it while trying to process what Danny said while simultaneously determining if they heard what we were talking about. No. They didn’t hear, because they would have shut down Danny’s argument in a flash. I glare at Danny, hoping he doesn’t bring it up again. That would upset Xan.
Danny drops his sunglasses back onto his nose. “Morgan is a bit light-headed because he needs to eat something. Working out and then sitting in the sun takes it out of you.”
Xan puts their hand on my forehead. “Do you want to get something to eat? Or go inside and take a nap?”
I shake my head. “No, I want to hang out with you.”
Their gaze softens and they squeeze my arm. “I could come with you. We could go back to the room and shower and then grab some lunch. What do you think?”
I think getting away from Danny is a great idea. And food doesn’t sound bad either. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”
Xan grabs their towel and they wave at Danny. “See you later.”
“You can count on it.“
He looks at me and raises one eyebrow. I grit my teeth and turn to follow Xan back to the cabin.
They let me shower first, and by the time I’m done I’m calmer. When I open the bathroom door, Xan looks up from their phone. And stares. Hard. For maybe the first time, I pay attention to how they’re looking at me. And how they’re looking at me is, well—if I’m honest, it’s almost like how girlfriends have looked at me. There’s that same lingering glance at my muscles, and purely out of habit I flex a bit. Their gaze drops to the damp towel around my waist and their nostrils flare before they snap their eyes back to their phone. Were they checking me out? God, I think they were. And that’s…new. Isn’t it? Or have I been missing it? And if I’ve been missing it, for how long? How do I feel about that? Realistically, I know I’m nice to look at. I work hard at my body and can appreciate a compliment from anyone. I’ve never been uncomfortable when guys at the gym have complimented my muscles. It’s just appreciation for the work I’ve put in. This is the same, right? But if it is, then why won’t Xan look at me?
I stare out the balcony windows and try to imagine Xan checking me out and thinking sexy thoughts about me. Does that bother me? Nope. Not at all. If I’m honest, I might even like that idea. Is it going to make sleeping next to them awkward? Still no. What if they rolled over in the middle of the night and snuggled with me? Touched me sexually? Heat races through me and I get a little light-headed. They’d probably fit nicely against my side, completely comfortable, and not one bit awkward. I try to imagine dancing like we did last night with one of the guys from the gym, or even Danny, and while I wouldn’t feel awkward, I’m sure it wouldn’t be romantic, either. And now that I’m considering things from a new angle, last night was romantic. It was intimate. Special. I imagine having Xan in my arms again, swaying to the music in the moonlight, and my nipples get hard and my cock is definitely perking up. Wow. Wowowowow. I’m attracted to Xan!
There’s a squeaking sound from the bed and I glance over in time to see Xan snapping their gaze away from me and back to their phone. I look down and see the front of my towel is visibly tenting. Because I thought about Xan. In a romantic and sexual way. Slowly, I cross the small space and sit on the edge of the bed, carefully taking Xan’s phone from them. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Xan looks thoroughly confused. “Tell you what?”
Good question. Where to start? “That none of them were right for me.”
Not even pretending to misunderstand me, Xan shrugs. “Wasn’t my place.”
That makes me angry. Of course it was Xan’s place! They’re my best friend! My ride or die! My—my person! “The hell it wasn’t.”
“No, I mean it. I knew I wasn’t unbiased and didn’t want to influence your opinion. Maybe I was missing something. Plus, you’re a big boy and can make your own decisions. It’s not my place to tell you who to date. And you seemed happy.”
Was I happy? I suppose I was kind of happy. But could I have been happier? I look them in the eye. “Not as happy as I am with you.”
Their cheeks turn a soft pink. “What?”
I shrug. “I may have been happy for a time, but not as happy as I am with you. Plus, they’d always get frustrated with me. Or you.”
“With me?“
Xan’s eyebrows shoot up into their hairline. “Why with me?”
I take their hand in mine. “For the same reason none of those relationships worked.”
“Why?“
Their voice is so soft I almost don’t hear it over the background thrum of the ship.
Slowly, so they can pull away if they want, I bring Xan’s hand to my lips and kiss their palm. “Because I was already in the perfect relationship for me. With you.”