Chapter 14 #3
It was literally a moment frozen in time. It hurt so badly to picture Dash’s mom sitting there, finishing up the email she sent to her son, taking one last sip of tea before getting up and going to bed, thinking that she’d sit in the same spot the next morning, doing what she always did.
Dash kept hold of her hand and slowly walked through the house without speaking.
It wasn’t a big home, but it was comfortable.
Warm. She could picture Dash growing up here.
His room wasn’t quite as untouched as she’d imagined.
Yes, there was a shelf of trophies, but the bedspread on the double-size mattress had light blue flowers and the bookshelf against the wall looked like it held dozens of recipe books.
He didn’t go into his mom’s room, and Brinley didn’t question it. He was most likely overwhelmed with emotions right now. When he felt up to it later, she was sure he’d go in there.
The sound of a doorbell scared the crap out of both of them.
As Dash went to answer it, she could practically see him shove away the big emotions he was having.
He stood straighter and squared his shoulders as he greeted an older woman with a huge hug.
He was the one comforting her. It didn’t surprise Brinley.
Dash was the kind of man who wouldn’t want his feelings to make anyone else uncomfortable.
Except, he’d lowered his guard with her. She’d seen the vulnerable man under the tough Delta Force Operative shell he wore on a daily basis. She’d seen the man who was devastated about losing his mom. It meant the world to her that he allowed her in. That he trusted her so much.
The rest of the afternoon was spent with them talking to neighbors and other friends of Pauly’s who’d obviously heard Dash was here.
He did a good job of keeping his composure, but Brinley noted when he was reaching his limit.
When he needed some time away from the well-wishes of all his mom’s friends—and there were a lot.
He’d explained over and over that he and Brinley didn’t need anything, didn’t need food, that they were staying at a hotel nearby but he appreciated everyone’s offers, and that he’d figure out the details for Pauline’s service as soon as he could.
When the last person had left, his shoulders drooped and he massaged the back of his neck tiredly.
“Come on. We’re leaving before anyone else shows up,” Brinley insisted.
He didn’t protest, which told her that she was correct in thinking he was at the end of his rope.
This time, she drove, pulling into the hotel parking lot within minutes.
Dash was like a zombie, but he still held on to her hand tightly enough that it seemed as if he was afraid she’d disappear at any moment.
Brinley had no intention of going anywhere.
After checking in and getting up to the room, she ordered room service for them and made Dash go take a long hot shower while they waited for their dinner to arrive. When it did, he ate almost robotically. Neither spoke much, which was all right with Brinley.
“I need to call the funeral home,” Dash said.
“Tomorrow. They’re closed now. I think we both need a good night’s sleep. Go change.”
He nodded and headed for his suitcase. Watching him remove his clothes would’ve gotten her all hot and bothered any other time, but all Brinley wanted to do was hold him.
Comfort him. Tell him that everything would be all right.
She quickly changed as well, making a short trip to the bathroom to brush her teeth.
When she reentered the room, Dash was under the covers, one arm behind his head, staring at the ceiling. She clicked off the light on her side of the bed and joined him under the sheet.
Dash immediately pulled her into him. She could feel him trembling as he held her. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. Hard.
“I had no idea anything could hurt this badly,” Dash said quietly. “I’ve lost people I’ve cared about before. Men I served with. Watched people die in combat. But this is different.”
“Of course it is. This is your mom.”
“I miss her already.”
Brinley’s very soul ached for him.
He spoke a little more about his mom, and about what they needed to do in the upcoming days…
arrange her service, pay to have her cremated, figure out what to do with her belongings and maybe meet with a realtor to set things in motion to sell her house.
It was a lot. But Brinley wasn’t surprised Dash was moving so fast. He didn’t live here.
Didn’t have the luxury of dragging his feet.
And he was a man of action. When something needed to be done, he did it.
“If you need to go home and work, that’s okay. I’ll be alright.”
“I’m not going anywhere. We came here together and we’ll go home together, once everything is settled.”
“I don’t deserve you. But I’m keeping you, Brinley Deaton.”
She smiled against him. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he said firmly.
He fell asleep not too long after that, but Brinley stayed awake for quite a while.
Holding Dash, her mind going a mile a minute as she went over everything that needed to happen in the next few days.
It would be a difficult week for Dash, but she had no doubt that he’d do his mom proud.
Every day would get a little bit easier, but his world had definitely shifted on its axis because of his mother’s death.
She’d do everything in her power to help him cope with the extreme emotions he’d be feeling in the coming days and weeks.
The more she got to know Dash and his many layers, the harder she fell for him.
She loved being able to spend time with him but hated the reason why.
Being with him on this trip would make returning back to their lives in Alaska all the harder because sleeping in his arms, seeing his vulnerable side, supporting him, made her yearn to have the privilege to do the same every day back home.
One step at a time.
First, they had to get through this week. She’d worry about their relationship later.