21. JJ Woodford
JJ WOODFORD
W atching Ivy walk away feels like the most painful form of torture; the look of hurt and vulnerability that crossed her face circulates in my brain on repeat. I should have said something, I shouldn’t have let her walk away.
I turn back to Daisy, who is now latching onto me, stumbling about in her drunken state. Her cup sloshes everywhere, the liquid pouring onto the golden sand. I remove her hand, and her blue eyes flash with confusion.
“Why did you say that? I know you’re drunk, but that was totally uncalled for.” I try to keep my voice as quiet as possible because I know Finn is lurking somewhere, and I don’t need this broadcast to the entire party.
Daisy scowls. “You’re the one who said it. Not me.”
My stare hardens. “I said it to you in confidence. I didn’t even?—”
“Didn’t even what?” Daisy stops swaying as her eyes partially roll into the back of her head.
I bite my tongue. There is no point in this. She’s wasted, and I don’t need her causing a scene, not when I know that Ivy is upset because of what I said.
“Forget it,” I grumble before turning away from her.
I search for Ivy amongst the crowd of people, and dart from the drinks table to the logs. Then I glance up at the road and find Ivy’s blonde hair flapping in the wind, her back to me. My jaw tenses when I spot Isaac in front of her, his facial expression is soft.
He raises his hands to her face and rubs his thumbs against her cheeks.
Shit.
I stop walking, my feet sinking further into the sand.
From this distance, I can’t see what Isaac is saying, but he’s smiling at her, continuing to wipe her face.
After a few moments, he beckons with his head towards the road, and she walks with him to his car.
It seems like she’s apprehensive at first, but she joins him after a few moments.
My fists clench beside me. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What have I done?
The only reason I told Daisy that Ivy wasn’t my type was because I didn’t want her getting suspicious. I didn’t want her to know I still think about our night together. I said it because I thought it might defuse the situation, not make it worse.
I watch a car leave the beach and head in the direction of Ivy’s house.
I slip away from the party without anyone noticing, knowing it only takes me ten minutes to walk. When I reach the front door, there aren’t any unknown cars outside, and I pray that Ivy didn’t go home with him. I need to talk to her.
Drawing my keys from my pocket, I slip them into the lock. When I step inside, I don’t see her in the kitchen or the living room.
There is a slight scuffle upstairs, feet pattering on the hallway floor. “Finn?” Ivy calls out, and I shut the door behind me.
My eyes snap to her blonde hair as she emerges from the stairs, and her eyes find mine instantly. She stops on the middle step, her throat bobbing at the sight of me. Her eyes are red, and even from this distance, it’s obvious she’s been crying.
You’re such a fucking idiot, JJ.
I never want to see her like this again. I should have been the one comforting her, pushing those tears away. Not Isaac.
My chest rises rapidly at the strong energy surrounding us. Ivy blinks once and then frowns at my presence. “Why aren’t you at the party?”
Her fingers pick at the chipping bannister; I register her anxiety.
“You’re upset,” I state pathetically.
“I’m not upset.”
My jaw ticks at her defensive words. “Don’t lie to me, Ivy.”
Ivy’s eyes ripple with tears again, and her chest heaves irregularly. Her body turns rigid, and she refuses to speak. I take one step closer, but there is still so much distance between us.
“What Daisy said?—”
She scoffs loudly and plucks her fingers away from the bannister, crossing her arms instead. I watch as she trembles with the action, she’s trying to be brave, but I know deep down something is eating at her.
“I really don’t care anymore, JJ.”
“What she said isn’t true,” I say with sincerity.
She blinks at my statement, clutching her fists together that rest over her chest. “Then why did she say it?”
I sigh and brush my hand over my head, eyes shutting briefly. “I didn’t mean it. I said it becau?—”
“It’s fine, JJ.” Her voice cracks, and I hate the way she says my name with a clipped tone. “I know you like her.”
My expression falls because I’m astounded by her words.
“Like her?” I snap suddenly, my face twisting into a scowl. “You think that I like her?”
Ivy rubs her eyes viciously and sighs. “I’m too tired for this conversation right now.” She deflates and takes a step back up the stairs and towards her bedroom.
Before I know it, I’m right behind her. A couple of steps. That’s all that closes the distance between us.
“Why do you keep doing that?” I demand. “Run when you get the chance.”
Ivy keeps walking as she approaches the upstairs hall. She turns around and stares me down with her burning green eyes. Emotions of rage, hurt, and confusion shine in them. “Because I don’t know what the fuck is going on with”—she flicks her hand between the two of us—“this.”
“Oh, so there is a ‘this’ now? Because I was under the impression you were trying to shut me out despite what we both felt the first night we met.”
Her eyes burn and she takes a shuddering breath. “What we felt was lust. Nothing more.”
“Lust?” I laugh sourly and take two steps forwards, her eyes watching me with thick intensity. “You think what we felt that night was lust?”
Ivy takes a step until her back hits the wall, stabilising her. I stop directly in front of her, close enough that our chests brush when she breathes. Her eyes are now dilated like the night sky; there might be lust, but I know it’s more. So much more.
My gaze travels down to those perfectly plump pink lips. The ones I’ve tasted before and craved ever since. She follows my eyeline, and a small whimper escapes her mouth as I pin her against the wall until there’s no space left.
“I dare you to tell me this only feels like lust.” I lower my face to her level, whispering against her jaw.
With one hand, I grip the side of her cheek. I tilt her face towards mine and lay my lips over hers. At first, she’s stunned, utterly stunned, but when I coax her mouth open with my tongue, she answers by gripping onto my T-shirt.
I clasp my other hand around her jaw and twist my head, brushing my lips against hers in yearning strokes. My tongue glides into her mouth, and she releases a moan of bliss. I push her further into the wall with gentle force, her fingers still latched onto the fabric of my top in a death grip.
Fuck. I can’t get enough.
I’ve missed these lips, the way they feel, the way they taste.
Ivy relaxes into my body as I shove my chest into hers, angling her head so I can kiss her deeper, harder. She whimpers and I grunt at the same time, the air around us becoming hotter and thicker until I forget that we live on Earth and she isn’t my entire existence.
Something sizzles and cracks against my lips, fire roaring in my heart. I’ve never felt more alive. This will have me dreaming of Ivy even when I’m not asleep.
After a few moments, Ivy presses a palm flat to my chest and pushes me off. When I open my eyes, I glance down at her, panting heavily to catch my breath. Ivy closes her eyes and purses her lips. “Wait, JJ,” she heaves. “Stop. We can’t do this.”
I don’t remove my hands from her face, instead, I slide my fingers into the back of her hair and tug gently.
Her delicious lips part, and she stares up at me with heated eyes that would make me submit.
My legs begin to wobble at the sight of her like this.
At my mercy. And I’d happily get down on my knees for her if she asked.
“Why?” I ask deeply.
She closes her eyes, pursing her lips. “We can’t.”
“Tell me why.” I dip my lips to her jaw.
Ivy shudders beneath me, her heart thrashing against mine. “Because it’s not fair to Finn. He won’t allow it.”
“Allow it?” I raise my voice, and Ivy’s eyes flutter open. “He’s not your keeper.”
“But he’s my brother.” She pushes me off, and my hands fall to my sides. “And this is a bad idea, we both know it.”
I watch her, suddenly feeling cold without her presence. She slips away from the wall, putting distance between us again. But my lips are still tingling from the kiss we shared.
“Finn doesn’t get to tell us what to do,” I say, chest trembling.
“You don’t understand.”
“Then enlighten me, Ivy. Please.”
Her lips wobble as she approaches her bedroom door, but she shakes her head and lowers her eyes. “I can’t. It’s too much.”
She steps into her room and shuts the door behind her. I stare at the spot she was occupying seconds ago. The high of the kiss now dissolves into nothing. I should have just told her how I feel, that I lied to Daisy because I tried to push my feelings for her away.
I want her laughter. I want hours of nonstop talking. I want playful flirting.
I close my eyes in defeat and wish I was good with words to express how I truly feel.