22. Ivy Thompson
IVY THOMPSON
M y body feels mummified when I pry my eyes open. Every inch of flesh and muscle aches like I’ve run a marathon. I slump into my pillow, not bothering to move. I reach over to my bedside table and grab my phone.
Shock. No notifications.
I raise a hand to rub my crusty eyes. I quickly replay last night, Daisy confidently spouting that JJ said I wasn’t his type, Isaac dropping me home, JJ kissing me against the wall.
My heart lurches in my chest, making me feel like I’m about to go into cardiac arrest.
He cupped my cheek and held me with tenderness that I could only dream of. My skin flushes with a new desire for his tongue against mine. Fuck. It felt so good, he felt so good.
But I know this is the right thing to do. Not only would it destroy Finn, but I’m putting myself in a tricky position. We were lusting after one another, we had great sexual chemistry—probably down to the four cocktails I drank that night.
It’s best if we leave it alone.
My phone buzzes in my hand and my brows furrow. My stomach twists. I don’t want it to be Daisy. I need some time away from her. I’m pleasantly surprised to find Isaac’s name pop up on the screen.
Isaac:
Hey, how are you feeling this morning?
I smile at the simple message. Checking in. He has no idea how much it means to me. I nuzzle my head back into the pillow as I hold my phone above my face.
Ivy:
Hey, I’m okay. I’m sorry about last night, total mess haha
Isaac:
Don’t apologise, everyone has emotions. It’s okay to get upset.
Ivy:
Well thanks for being a good friend anyway, I really needed you last night.
His response takes a little longer than normal, so I get out of bed and hurry to the shower. It’s still early, which means I probably won’t bump into JJ, and I’m counting on it.
When I get out of the shower and shut my bedroom door, I get changed into fresh clothes. My phone finally vibrates on my bed as I pull down the white cropped jumper over my chest.
Isaac:
No problem… Are you doing anything today? Wanna go for a morning walk?
I glance out of the window, the sun gleaming through the room. Some fresh air and getting out of this house will help clear my mind a little. There is only so much Gilmore Girls I can watch without wanting to gouge my eyes out.
Ivy:
Sure! Shall we meet at the beachfront in twenty?
Isaac:
Perfect, see you then
As I walk to the beachfront, my phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out to see Erin’s name on the screen. I press down on the green button and hold it to my ear.
“Hey, Erin,” I exhale. “I’m so sorry I haven’t called.”
“It’s okay,” she chuckles. “I just wanted to make sure that you’re alive.”
I smile. “Alive, just about.”
“Everything okay?”
No. Not really.
“Yeah, I’ve just been so busy. I feel terrible.”
“Don’t be,” she says. “I know this is a big thing for you. I just wanted to check in, hear your voice.”
My heart thumps. “You’re too good to me, Erin.”
“What are you up to?”
“Actually going to meet an old friend right now,” I say. “But I’ll call you later when I get home and we can have a proper chat?”
Erin hums in agreement. “Sounds good. Miss you.”
“Miss you more,” I say before hanging up the call.
Isaac is already waiting for me at the beachfront when I arrive. I smile at him as I approach, and he pushes off the metal railings to meet me halfway. “Hey,” he brings me into a hug.
I rise up onto my tiptoes to match his height. My arms wrap around his body, and I press my face into his shoulder. “Hey,” I murmur into the fabric of his T-shirt. “How are you?”
“I’m good.” He pulls away. His warm hands grip my shoulders gently, those dark eyes inspecting my face. “You sure you’re okay?”
I nod even though I’m fighting that ongoing battle inside my brain. “Yeah.” I force a smile. “Let’s walk.”
Isaac falls into step beside me and we walk down to the seafront, the waves gently lapping the soft sand beneath our feet. “I was worried about you yesterday,” he admits after a few moments.
I tuck my arms into my chest, clutching onto the granola bar I haven’t found the courage to eat yet. “No need,” I say. “I was overreacting. It was nothing.”
“You’ve struggled with living in Daisy’s shadow?”
When he says it like that, I groan internally. It sounds so pathetic. “Yeah.” I sigh as the ocean crashes into the shore, the sound like music to my ears—peace. “It’s stupid. It doesn’t matter; it’s something I need to get over.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “It’s not stupid. We all have insecurities; best believe I was a fucking wreck at school.”
This time, I look at him and tilt my head so the sun isn’t shining directly in my eyes. “A wreck?”
“I mean, Ivy, you know I wasn’t popular at school.” He laughs hesitantly.
“Neither was I.”
No one is around when we perch on the sand and sit to face the sea.
“But we were on different continents,” he says, lips curling. “You were the pretty girl with the blonde hair and braces for days. Literal days. How long did you have them for?”
I shove his shoulder playfully. “Shut up. It’s not my fault my teeth were all wonky to the point where they considered giving me an operation. It was only for three years.”
Isaac grins down at me, wrapping his arms loosely around his knees. “Three years,” he chuckles. “But I still liked you.”
“Well, that’s kind of you.” I smile and look down at the patch of sand beneath my crossed legs.
“No, I mean…” He pauses and then clears his throat. My eyes peek up at him slowly. “I liked you a lot, I was just too scared to say anything. Biology haunted me because I used to be so nervous and excited at the same time. I thought I would pluck up the courage, but I never did.”
A pulse hits my throat. “Why didn’t you?”
“Because someone like you was never going to like someone like me.”
His words echo around my head, and suddenly I feel guilty. Every fibre inside my body begins to vibrate because how Isaac feels is exactly how I feel about JJ, and it’s messing with my head.
“I might have,” I admit. “I always enjoyed your company. I guess the thought of us being together in that way never crossed my mind because I believed we were such good platonic friends.”
Isaac swallows harshly. “Don’t say you might have.” He lowers his head. “Because I don’t want to kick myself any more than I already do.”
My lips slip into a subtle frown. “I wouldn’t have been ready for a boyfriend at that age anyway,” I say slowly.
“I was struggling so much with my body, my flaws, always being second best. I would have been a complete fucking mess, but I’m glad that we’re still friends, Isaac. I really appreciate you.”
He stares at me, and I fear I’ve said the wrong thing. But when he nods, I take a small breath of relief. “I’m glad you’re back.” He drops a hand to trace shapes in the sand. “I was worried I’d never see you again.”
“I needed time away.”
“Of course, I completely get that. I’m just glad I have this time with you.”
A genuine smile creeps up on my face. “Me too,” I say quietly, the sound of the waves building. “I really need a real friend right now. I’m sorry I left and said nothing, you deserved better than that.”
“Well.” He clears his throat. “We can make up for now. Can’t we?”
“Most definitely.”
He beams down at me, and I beam right back. Allowing the comfort of his company and my home to rid myself of any past emotions, to let go and allow myself one moment of peace.
I think I owe myself that at least.
After spending the entire day with Isaac, I come home feeling refreshed.
We no longer spoke about past feelings or insecurities, we changed the conversation to university, jobs, our futures, what will make us happy.
A conversation like that is worth more to me than anything else.
Although I know deep down in my heart I don’t like Isaac like that. A part of me wishes I did because he would treat me like a queen. But that spark of fire and longing isn’t there, and I don’t think I could ever see him as anything more than a friend.
When I walk through the front door at five o’clock, I find Finn and JJ sitting at the kitchen counter with bowls of noodles. I catch my brother’s gaze, and he smiles at my entrance.
“Hey,” he calls out.
“Hey.”
JJ rips his eyes away from the bowl in front of him, as if he was lost in thought and didn’t even hear me walk through the door. His gaze flicks to mine within a second. I try to ignore the way he looks at me, like I’m the only person on this goddamn Earth to exist.
That look must be a fragment of my imagination. Surely.
“Where have you been?” Finn asks curiously before stuffing his face with noodles.
I drop my bag on the floor and shut the door behind me. My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I edge closer to the counter, JJ’s eyes still burning a hole in my face.
“With Isaac,” I say truthfully.
Finn hums in response. “Isaac’s a nice guy,” he says as I plate myself up and sit beside my brother. “I approve.”
I stupidly meet JJ’s stare, noticing his hand that’s latched around his fork becoming deathly tight. His knuckles begin to turn white.
JJ’s jaw tenses, and I swallow down nothing but shakiness
I can’t, for whatever reason, take my eyes off him. Finn is too distracted in his own bubble to realise that we’re having a silent standoff.
I finally drag my gaze away from his and take my fork with a wobbly hand. “How was your day?” I ask Finn calmly.
“Fine. Work is long, but I like the money, so I can’t complain,” he mumbles through a mouthful of food.
I grimace at the sound and the visual. “Close your mouth, you animal.”
“Make me.” He narrows his eyes towards me, and I shoot him a glare back.
“Gross.”
He slinks an arm around my shoulder, weighing me down. Then he rubs his knuckles against the top of my head like we’re ten years old again, and I squirm in his grip. “You’re so annoying,” I grumble.
Finn chuckles. “I know, but you love me.”