24. Ivy Thompson
IVY THOMPSON
A fter I hear the door close for the second time today, I know JJ has gone out. Finn has been at work since this morning, and I haven’t left my room. I pick up a book and spend the morning with fictional characters instead of real ones.
An hour or so ticks by when my phone vibrates beside me. I put down the book and glance at the screen to find Daisy’s name pop up, and I frown at it. She hasn’t even bothered speaking to me since the party, since she got drunk and decided to run her mouth for no reason.
I roll my eyes and reluctantly press the green button. “Hello?” I say dully.
She sniffles from the other end of the line. “Ivy?”
My body twists, and I press my feet to the floor. “What’s the matter?”
“I’m outside your house, could you let me in?”
“Coming,” I say before sprinting down the stairs to my front door.
My fingers latch onto the handle and open it to find Daisy sobbing on the other side. I open my mouth, but she falls into my arms. Even though I’m still angry at her for the other night, I can’t deny her friendship right now, so I embrace her in a hug.
“What happened?” I ask as I smooth down the back of her brunette hair.
Slowly, she pulls away from me, blue eyes filled with tears. “I feel like shit,” she chokes.
I move my head away. “Why, what happened?”
She shuts the door behind me, and I beckon with my head for us to sit outside. Her footsteps follow me, and I perch on the edge of the sunbed. She sits down right beside me.
“Stupid boys,” she grumbles.
“What happened, Daisy?”
Her attention turns to me, and she wipes her eyes. “JJ,” she whimpers. “I saw him at the beach earlier and he told me that he’s not interested and that I’m not the one for him.”
My forehead scrunches together, confused as to why she’s this upset. From what I know, they went on one date, and they haven’t even kissed.
“I’m not trying to sound insensitive, but you barely know him.”
Her eyes blaze with fury at my comment. “I’m sitting here crying, Ivy, and that’s all you’ve got to say?”
I recoil from her tone. “All I’ve got to say?” I scoff. “You haven’t even talked to me about what happened at the party.”
“What?”
“The comment you made about JJ, Daisy. It was a shitty comment to make.”
The tears in her eyes begin to ease up, and she presses her lips into a thin line. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you don’t, because you were drunk and you wanted to put me down so you could look superior to him.”
Days’ worth of frustration and anger begin to build.
“What are you talking about?”
I throw my hands up in the air. “Forget about it.”
“No,” she grumbles. “Tell me what you wanted to say.”
My eyes flick between hers, and I huff out a small laugh. “You had to bring up that JJ said I wasn’t his type. My whole life, you’ve made this into some competition, and it’s exhausting. I never wanted to compete with you, but this time I can’t stand it; it’s as if my feelings don’t matter.”
“I didn’t rub it in.”
“You did,” I state simply. “You always have to make sure you’re above everyone else. Every day throughout school, I literally hid in your shadow, I was so insecure because I didn’t understand why I got treated differently to you.”
Daisy’s jaw clicks, and her eyes narrow at me. “You have no idea what I went through in high school,” she mumbles. “All the shit I had to go through.”
“Like what?”
Her nose twitches. “Everyone thought I was a stuck-up bitch. Being gossiped about. Having girls hate me because boys were interested in me. Those days were some of the worst times of my life.”
My eyes narrow. “Oh man, imagine people hating you because you’re pretty.”
Something burns in my chest, and I’m not proud of it. Daisy sniffles and stands from the sunbed. “You don’t understand, Ivy.”
“I went through years of bullying, Daisy,” I say harshly.
“Years of rude, backhanded comments that have sat with me until this day. People tripped me up in the hallway because I was your stupid sidekick who followed you anywhere, and they’d do things to get your attention.
Sticking gum in my hair because boys found it funny. ”
She folds her arms over her chest and glances away.
“You endured boys asking for your number and girls being bitchy because they were jealous! I spent years fearing going to school, not understanding why we got treated so differently. We all have feelings, yet I would go home and cry because I wanted to know why I wasn’t good enough for anyone to look at and see a person who mattered. ”
“It’s not my fault boys didn’t like you, Ivy.”
A laugh passes my lips. “No, that’s not your fault. But you’ve played up to it the entirety of your life, and you don’t even know it. Everyone knows you’re beautiful, Daisy, but it seems like you always can’t wait to kick me while I’m already down.”
“That’s not true.” She shakes her head.
“Remember when we found out that Ben liked me?” I say in a whisper. “You made little comments when you could, acting shocked that he asked me out when he didn’t even look in your direction. You couldn’t believe that someone liked me and not you.”
Daisy sticks her tongue into her cheek. “Those comments were nothing.”
“They might have been nothing to you, but they stuck with me, Daisy.”
She glares at me, and I look away. I could list a hundred other things she’s made comments about because I’m sick of keeping them to myself. But this conversation isn’t doing me any good, and I’m over it.
It might not be malicious, but when they begin to build up, I feel like a target that I can never escape, and I don’t need friends who bring me down.
“You’re actually unbelievable,” she rasps harshly.
My eyebrows shoot up. “I’m unbelievable?”
“Yeah,” she spits and steps towards me. “I came here upset, and you’re the one who decides to lecture me, that’s not what a friend does.”
A sour chuckle escapes my lips. “A friend? I don’t understand why you want me to be your competition.”
“I’ve never seen you as competition, Ivy. That’s just ridiculous.”
“Alright,” I throw my hands up in defence. “Whatever.”
She scoffs in my direction. “See, you don’t even care how upset I am about JJ!”
“I’m sorry you’re hurt, Daisy. And I know it feels shit.” I press my hands to my face. I can’t be dealing with this right now. “But it’s a rejection. It happens to everyone, all the time. I guess you don’t know what that’s like, because it rarely happens to you.”
Daisy’s eyes fill with tears again, and she shakes her head. “You’re not being very nice, Ivy.”
My heart quivers inside me, and I never intended for this conversation to take this turn. “Yeah, well, that makes two of us.”
“Screw you,” she grits and stalks away, slamming the front door behind her.
My fists tighten at my sides, and I resist the urge to scream at the top of my lungs.
The comment to JJ was the final straw. I shouldn’t have told Daisy to get with JJ. I should have told her the truth. It might have made things easier. Maybe this is my fault.
I inhale a big breath, burying my hands into my hair. A part of me wishes I never came home at all.
I knew it would end in disaster.
Footsteps echo behind me, but I don’t turn around. I really don’t care for any conversation right now. My head has already started thumping, and I’ve barely done any thinking. The rest of the day is going to be hell.
“Ivy?”
JJ’s voice rings in my ears.
“You good?” he asks softly.
I nod once, staring ahead at the blue sky. “Yeah,” I rasp and drift my eyes to the side to find him standing against the patio door.
“You sure?”
My eyes shut for a second. I hum in response.
“Can we talk… about the other night?”
I stand from the sunbed and grab my things. “Not right now.” I focus on the floor. “I have a headache and I’m not feeling up to it.”
When I walk towards the door, he doesn’t move out of the way. “Want me to grab you some paracetamol?”
I meet his blue eyes, and I curse him silently for being so sweet. After that argument with Daisy, I really don’t want to sit around and talk about my feelings for a second longer. I’m done with this crap for today.
“No, thank you.” I swallow and attempt to move around him.
His arms are folded over his chest, and I try not to stare at his muscles and broad shoulders, but they’re in my direct eyeline, and I can’t stomach looking back into his eyes again.
When he doesn’t move, I have no choice but to glance up. He’s watching me with a cautious expression, and it has blood thrashing through my system like there is no tomorrow.
“Princess, I just want to talk.”
My heart pauses for a simple beat, and I close my lips again. I can barely form a sentence right now, let alone listen to what he has to say. “Can we talk tomorrow?” I squeeze my eyes shut. “I’m really not feeling too good.”
“Alright,” he says after a few moments and steps out of the way.
I walk straight upstairs and into the bathroom, where I take a few moments to breathe. Sometimes I wish I knew what exactly was going on inside my head, rather than having one hundred different emotions attacking me at once.
When I exit the bathroom and head towards my bedroom, there is a packet of paracetamol and a cold bottle of water lying in front of my door. I pause and glance down at it, then look over my shoulder.
Why is he doing this to me? I don’t need to fall for him any more than I already am.
Things are too complicated. I’m actually losing the plot.
I bend down to collect the items and shut myself in my room, wishing this day never happened.