ELEVEN
One week has passed since the fire alarm incident, and me being left in the kennel while Daddy was gone. Daddy hasn’t put me back in the kennel since, not wanting to be separated from me for too long. I can’t bear the thought of being away from him, but I haven’t had to worry about that much.
Daddy has brought me to work once, but after that, he kept me close in the apartment, making sure to be there when I woke up and when I was awake. I have never felt this calm and safe.
“How are you feeling?” Daddy asks.
“Good.” I snuggle into his body.
He runs his hands up and down my back, and I let out a sigh of contentment.
“Daddy has to go to the office,” he hesitantly admits.
I pull my head and look up at him. “That’s okay.” I smile. “We can go to the office again.”
Daddy cups my face, and dread fills my stomach from him just looking at me, not saying a word. I know what he wants to tell me.
“This time, Daddy can’t bring you along. Some coworkers are going to be presenting some stuff that you won’t be able to look at,” he gently says. “Daddy has to leave you at the apartment.”
I grip onto Daddy’s shirt and take a deep breath, trying to keep myself together. Just the thought of being alone in the apartment makes me queasy.
“Daddy doesn’t want to have to do it, but this needs to be done. After that, we can be together again, and you can come to work with me,” he quickly says. “Do you want me to get Yamal to come stay with you in the apartment?”
I open and close my mouth several times, but ultimately close my mouth and eyes.
“I can get him to come over, so you don’t have to be in the kennel and alone in the apartment.” Daddy rubs his thumbs across my cheeks. “I don’t want to leave you, but I have to go to work to do this. I’ll be very quick. You won’t even know that I am gone.”
But I will.
I already feel that he is gone, and I don’t like it. The feeling of someone sitting on top of my chest, not able to fully get a breath in.
“Nora?” he gently says. “Do you want me to get Yamal to come and sit with you?”
“No, it’s okay,” I whisper as I open my eyes.
Daddy searches my face. “Are you sure?”
I nod, not trusting my voice.
“I need to hear your words,” Daddy reminds me.
“Yes, I’m sure. I’ll be okay in the apartment. The alarm hasn’t gone off since then, and it’s been a week since it happened,” I try to reassure him.
Even though it has been a week, it feels like it happened just yesterday. I still feel the same emotions that I went through a week ago.
“I don’t know if I should do this. Maybe I should ask them to push it back another week,” Daddy says to himself.
I shake my head. “No, you can’t do that. Just do it now. I really am fine.”
If they put it off another week, I’m going to know it’s happening, and the next week is going to go by so slowly. The dread and anticipation will bubble up inside of me, growing with each passing day. No. That can’t happen.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
I nod and plaster a reassuring smile on my face. “I really am okay. But maybe don’t lock the kennel door?”
Daddy sighs but ultimately nods. “Okay, I won’t lock it.
There is also a camera in the living room that I will check when I get to the office.
I’ll check it a couple of times while I am out to make sure you are okay.
If I see anything, I will have Yamal come and check on you, or I will come myself. ”
“You won’t need to do that. I’ll be perfectly fine here by myself,” I tell him.
But I’m trying to reassure myself. I can already feel my heart rate starting to pick up as Daddy places me on the ground and stands.
“Daddy is going to allow you to roam around the apartment freely while I am gone. When I get home, I will be checking the video surveillance to make sure you didn’t do anything naughty.
If I find out that you did, there will be no more free roaming while I am gone.
” Daddy looks down at me. “Do you understand?”
“I understand, Daddy.” I smile at him.
I have no intention of doing something naughty like that. Unless it gets Daddy to come sooner if he catches me whenever he looks at the camera feed. Hmmm. Maybe I should do something like that, but then I would have to constantly do it since I don’t know when Daddy will look at the camera.
How exhausting will it be to try to stand on my own and do other things Daddy wouldn’t approve of? I don’t know how long he is going to be away, but I know it is going to be longer than an hour. And I don’t have that kind of energy in me.
“I can see the mischievous look in your eyes.” Daddy taps my nose and shakes his head. “Don’t you dare think about doing something to get me to come home earlier. Daddy won’t be happy if I have to leave early and go back another day because you are naughty.”
“What if I get hurt somehow?” I ask. “Will you be mad at me then?”
What if it’s an honest mistake and I find myself passing out? What then? I don’t want Daddy to be mad at me for having to leave early.
Daddy squats in front of me and gently cups my face. “If you aren’t being naughty and somehow find yourself hurt, Daddy won’t be mad at you. I know you aren’t going to intentionally hurt yourself to get me to come home.”
Nodding, I lean into his hand and close my eyes.
“Such a good girl,” he purrs. “Daddy is going to go now. If you need anything, just yell, and my phone will alert me that you made a loud noise. Or I may see if when I am checking on you. If you do it, though, be prepared to hear someone asking what you need.”
“Are they always monitoring the camera?” I whisper, my eyes going wide as I look around the room.
Where are the cameras and speakers? I’ve never noticed anything before. How have I managed to miss something important like that?
“Why didn’t they say something when the fire alarm went off?” I ask.
They should have sent someone to come and get me out of the kennel in case there was a real fire. They should have tried to let me know I wasn’t going to die.
“I didn’t have it in place back then. Last time we went to the office together, I had them install the cameras and speakers.
If anything happens while I am gone in the future, someone will be able to talk to you, or I will be able to talk to you,” Daddy explains.
“I don’t want something like that to happen again. ”
“I don’t, either,” I mumble.
Daddy kisses the top of my head before giving my lips a gentle peck. “I know you don’t. That is why I took extra precautions after it happened. Nothing bad is going to happen to you ever again.”
I hope he’s telling the truth.
“Now, Daddy has to go, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. Remember what I said about calling out if you need anything,” Daddy reminds me. “Be a good girl for me.”
I hold my breath as Daddy grabs his bag and walks to the front door. He turns his head and gives me a slight wave before heading out, my heart sinking as he leaves.
I crawl over to the kennel and grab the blanket out from it, placing it around me as I lie down, trying to stay warm. Maybe I can take a little nap here while Daddy is gone. Closing my eyes, I will my body to relax.
***How am I going to survive in the apartment when everything brings me back to how I was feeling in the cage alone, thinking I was going to die?
I take a deep breath and slowly let it out, trying to calm myself down.
“I can do this,” I whisper to myself. “I can be strong for Daddy and make it through the day. Nothing bad is going to happen to me.”
I squeeze my hands together and look at them.
Everything is going to be okay without him here with me.
I can make it through a couple of hours alone in the apartment.
Daddy is monitoring the cameras every once in a while, and if I absolutely need anything, I’ll make a loud noise, and Daddy will be alerted.
He’ll come back if the fire alarm goes off again.
“Nothing is going to happen,” I mutter as I look over at the kennel.
The urge to go in there and lie down is strong, but I have a feeling that once I go in there, it is going to make all my symptoms even worse. That is where I was stuck when the fire alarm went off.
“But I won’t be locked in there,” I whisper.
Right. I can prop something against the kennel door to make sure that it doesn’t close on me. I look around the room and spot one of the chairs Daddy sits in when he is eating. He makes it look so easy to move the chair, so maybe I can do it.
I crawl over to the chair and get behind it, pushing with all my might, and it only budges a hair.
“So hard,” I mumble to myself.
I clench my jaw and keep pushing the chair. No matter how long it takes me, I am going to get that chair over to the kennel so I can lie down in it and not have to worry about anything. Hopefully then, I can relax and patiently wait for Daddy to come back and prove there is nothing wrong.
I don’t know how long it takes me to get the chair over to the kennel, but by the time I do, I am out of breath and completely exhausted. But the chair is propping the kennel door open.
When I crawl into the kennel, I snuggle into the blanket and wrap myself in it as I lie my head on the pillow.
“Everything is going to be okay. The fire alarm isn’t going off. The kennel door can’t be closed,” I whisper as I close my eyes. “Just take a little nap. Everything is going to be okay. Daddy will be here before I know it.”
My grip on the blanket tightens as my brain imagines the fire alarm noise. Everything is okay. If it was really going off, the people would contact me like Daddy said.
I pull the blanket over my head and take several deep breaths in, slowly letting them out.
“Just make it through today,” I mutter.