Chapter 32
Thirty-Two
Callah
In the weeks after my wedding, the men stopped hiding their punishment. It had started small, but now? With each meal, there were more bruises visible on the wives. The widows looked at them with knowing pity. However, we women refused to be helpless anymore.
I made it clear I'd heal anyone who asked, at any time. Others offered to help, but they had to work around their husband's demands or they'd be the one needing it. At first, it was a request for a crochet hook. Then a knitting needle.
But when a woman had knocked on my door with blood still running from the cut on her arm, Tobias had all but pulled her inside. She'd apologized, tried to tell him she didn't mean to bother him - and he'd simply called for me to help.
The next day, he'd demanded a set of supplies for me, so I could keep up with my skills.
Practicing on women meant I'd sew better if he got hurt, or so he'd claimed - and it had worked.
Mrs. Worthington had been thrilled to give me bandages and suture.
I'd claimed some ethanol from the cleaning supplies.
The clamps weren't as easy, but the infirmary had a bent set no one liked, and Mrs. Worthington said no one would miss them.
Even better, Tobias had impressed Gideon on the last hunt.
I wasn't supposed to know it was because he'd been strong enough to contain the women they'd captured for quarantine, but it had earned him a few privileges.
He used them to get a mat for the nursery, as well as some extra blankets, and created a place for people to rest while I treated them.
And they were all women.
Oh, he played his part when they came. My husband was simple, so he didn't realize how kind he was being to us.
He made comments about how I chewed too loud when one woman showed up in the middle of our meal.
Another overheard him grumbling about how I still left scars, so I clearly needed more practice.
All were things we knew didn't matter. All those comments made the women who sought me out relax a bit more.
Most of all, they kept anyone from saying he was in on this.
It wasn't that I didn't trust these women.
It was that I knew someone would try to use our kindness to save them when they needed it most. I knew temptation was hard to ignore because I'd had to face it.
Ayla had planned her attack. Meri hadn't actually had relations with her brother.
Their goal had been to escape - and I'd helped.
That last part was what kept my mouth shut. I could hint at the rest, and I had told a few people, but now I realized I'd been naive. They wouldn't want to betray me, but if it meant saving themselves? The punishments were getting more intense, more obvious, and the husbands were no longer ashamed.
I was finishing up a bandage on a girl who'd been married only a few days ago when Tobias stormed in and slammed the door.
"Callah!"
"I'm with someone," I called back.
He snarled in a way that made both me and the woman I was working on flinch. "I'm getting dinner!" he snapped. "You're too slow, and I'm already hungry."
"I'm sorry," the woman mouthed at me, looking at the cracked-open door shielding us, then back. "Will he punish you?"
I waited until our door closed again, then assured her, "No. He'll forget by the time he's back. And once he's fed?"
"Okay," she said, sounding relieved. "It's just that you've done so much for us."
I tied off the bandage, helped her adjust her sleeve to hide it, and began putting away my things. "It feels good to have a purpose, and as long as we women help each other, we'll always have someone to lean on when we need it most."
"But most of us can't do this," she reminded me. "Most husbands would be angry if his wife was wasting her time on something besides him. He is our lord above all but God."
"And God said to care for those in need," I reminded her. "We can't ignore the parts that are inconvenient."
"True." She tested her arm, nodding as if pleased with it. "Thank you. Is there any way I can repay you?"
"Tell others," I said. "Not just that I will heal them, but that we will listen, they aren't alone, and that it's okay for us women to stand together. That is not gossip, it's community."
"I will," she said, then headed out.
But Tobias wasn't back yet. I set to cleaning my things, scrubbing them all with good soap, then rinsing with ethanol. Sterile. That wasn't something we could achieve down here the way they once had, but I got as close as I could. Infections were as deadly to women as to men.
Soon enough, Tobias returned. This time, he didn't slam the door.
He also didn't call for me, but I was close enough to done that it didn't matter.
Leaving the last of my organizing, I came out of the nursery to find him placing a large bowl of vegetable mash in the middle of the table before he pulled down our two bowls.
"I got food," he said.
"She's gone," I assured him. "Her husband hit her across the arm with the rod so hard it split her skin. Her bone isn't broken, but she'll feel the pain for a while."
He grunted. "Well, at least you helped." Then he began dividing his meal between us. "Callah, we're hunting again."
"What?" I gasped. "Already? Tobias, you just got back!"
"And the elders say we need more." He slung a dollop of mash into a bowl hard enough I heard the plop. "And we're not going to the Dragons. More wild men. More women to bring back."
"It's fine," I said. "Sylis doesn't have the code."
"And you shouldn't be here anymore!"
I patted the air, calming him down so he wouldn't yell. "Neither of us should be, but that's the way it is."
He finished portioning his oversized meal between the two bowls, then sank into his usual chair. "I don't know what to do anymore. I thought I had it all figured out, and now we're right back where we started, Callah. Except worse! I have to go out there and either kill or be killed, and I..."
"So you carry the bags, or lead the women," I told him. "I know it's not good, but it's better, right?"
"Not the women," he admitted. "I..."
"They'll be married, they'll have children, and they'll get the same lives we do," I said, hoping to soothe him. "It could be worse. They're alive at least."
"Yeah..." But he dropped his spoon into the bowl.
"I'm not sure that really counts. Women shouldn't be abused like that.
" His jaw clenched hard enough to make a muscle stand out along the side.
"Yes, I said it. What they do to you is abuse.
The punishment is too much. The copulation isn't always for children.
The thrill men get from hurting their wives is. .."
"Horrific," I offered. "I know, Tobias. But you aren't like them. I'm not either. We're trying to survive the horrors. To do that, we have to pick the least bad thing, and it's okay to hate it. It's good to hate it, but you still have to survive, because I am counting on you."
He nodded slowly, accepting that. "Yeah, I know." Then he picked up his spoon again. "So, what does Felicity think about Sylis?"
"She thinks he doesn't want to marry her."
"He doesn't," Tobias agreed, looking relieved to have a safe subject. "He says she'll make a good wife, though. She's brazen and bold, so he won't be worried he's cruel to her without knowing he'll hear about it."
I chuckled. "She'll like that. She's been worried that if she scares him off, she'll end up with someone worse."
"No, he intends to propose," Tobias assured me. "He was hoping you'd check with her to see what she thinks first."
"I think she'll accept," I said. "They aren't friends, but if he gives her the same freedom you do with me? I think they could be. It's just hard for us to trust men. We've seen how often a moment of trust is used against us later."
"I just..." He grunted. "Never mind."
"No, what?" I begged.
He looked up, those amazing hazel eyes of his finding mine. "You are my wife, Callah. Maybe we're lawfully wedded friends, but you are still my wife in the eyes of God. I made a promise to care for you, and causing you pain? That doesn't seem like caring."
"But the rules are different for men and women," I reminded him.
"No," he said. "The rules are for the lesser. Women are less than men. Young men are less than old. Fungus farmers are less than hunters. It's all about who's below us, and sitting at the very top are the elders."
"Yeah."
"And as long as they convince us to turn on those weaker than us, there's no one looking up at them.
There won't be anyone joining together to make them suffer for what they've done to us.
Callah, most men aren't good, but some are.
Sylis and I aren't the only ones who see the faults with our system. "
"Then do something," I told him.
"But what?" he asked. "See, if you misbehave, as your husband, I'm supposed to punish you.
I won't, but that's a layer of protection you have.
Women? If they misbehave, their husbands will use the rod.
They might get bruises or broken skin. When a hunter misbehaves?
He doesn't come home. Pain is bad, but death is worse, and our risk is always death. "
"Even when you're inside?" I asked.
He nodded. "They'll remember. A stray shot is easy to explain in the chaos that happens.
One more problem gone, right? That's why I have to be so careful.
I don't want to die and leave you trapped here.
They will force you to marry someone else, and now that you've proven you're an obedient wife?
Who will your next husband be, Callah? If you can't get out, then what? "
"And yet I want you to be careful out there for yourself. I will make sure I'm okay, but I want you here with me."
"Yeah?" Hope filled his expression.
I nodded. "Yeah. I can barely remember Ayla's face, Tobias. Meri? I don't know if she's still alive. She should've had her baby by now, and if the worst happened?" I reached across the table, clasping his free hand. "We are all we have."
"I'll come back," he promised. "I'll make sure of it."
"Good, because I need my best friend."
His spoon paused halfway to his mouth and a smile began to take over. "That's a pretty important title from you."
"And yet it's still true," I assured him.
"You're my best friend too, Callah. This?
I like this so much. I spend all day looking forward to these talks we can have where I don't have to watch what I say, and I know you'll understand me.
I just feel..." He laughed once. "You complete me.
I know they say a wife will complete a man, but I didn't believe it, and I don't think we're doing it the way they expected, and yet it's still true. "
"You," I told him, "are a very good husband. I never imagined such a thing could exist, but you are one."
"And I'm going to be even better," he said. "I want you to write a letter tonight. If you can draw a phoenix on the outside, do that?"
"I'm not sure it will be very good, but why? What are you thinking?"
"I am going to leave it behind," he said. "I don't know if the wild men will be able to read it, but the Wyvern talked to one that first time. They might speak the same language, and if so, they'd have to know what a phoenix is, right?"
"Hopefully."
"Then maybe we can still get a message to her," he said. "It's the best hope we have."
"I'll summarize everything," I promised. "And shorter, so it will actually fit in your pocket."
"Tonight," he said. "Because I leave before the lights come on for everyone else."
I nodded, but a wave of fear hit me. This could be it.
Every time he went outside the compound, it could be the last time I ever saw him, so I decided to do something stupid.
I wasn't going to tell him, but tonight, I wouldn't put a rolled sheet between us.
Friends didn't need barriers if they had trust.
And I trusted Tobias with my life. This was the only way I could think to prove it to him.