24. Trash
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
TRASH
Ruby
Past
Twelve years ago
“Are you sure you don’t mind? Sadie should be there.”
“I’m pulling up to your house now. I’ll grab your stuff and be on the road. I can’t wait to see you.”
It’s the middle of our sophomore year. Payne is enjoying his free ride at State, while I’m working at the sub shop just to pay for classes through the local junior college.
The only reason I’m taking classes is because I don’t know what else to do with my life.
The career options for singing and basic choreography in Winslet are nil.
Not even nil.
Try a big fat zero.
So as I wait for the heavens to open up and hit me with inspiration or slap me with the meaning of life, I’m taking classes like public speaking, trigonometry, and early European history while Payne takes everything pre-law and interns at a firm in Seattle.
We might have a small commute from each other, but we see each other every weekend even though he rarely comes home. I usually go there. We have privacy, and he wants to be around his parents about as much as one wants to have teeth pulled.
But it’s getting cold, and he forgot to pack his coat the last time he was home, so I’m grabbing it before I head to the city.
“Be careful. Let me know when you’re on your way. Love you, Ruby-doo.”
I smile as I climb out of my car and head to the front door. I can probably count on one hand the times I’ve been here without Payne. I press the doorbell. “I love you too. See you soon.”
Payne says goodbye at the same time the front door opens. I take a step back when it’s not Sadie or the housekeeper of the week. Tallie hasn’t been able to keep anyone on staff long enough for me to learn their names ever since my mom skipped town.
It’s Owen Deacon. The man who has abused Payne his entire life, treated Tallie like shit, and functions on alcohol and evil.
He also hates me.
He looks me up and down in a way that makes my skin crawl. “What the fuck do you want?”
I cross my arms and try to peer around him to see if Sadie is here, or at the very least Tallie. “I’m on my way to see Payne at school. He needs a coat with the change in the weather. Is Sadie here?”
He hesitates for a beat before opening the door wide. “Come in.”
I step inside, but I don’t stop. “Don’t mind me. I’ll just get what he needs and be on my way.”
“Wait a second. There’s something we need to discuss.”
I stop in the middle of the vast entryway that acted more like a roller rink when Payne and I were little. “Maybe another time. Payne is expecting me.”
“Payne can wait.”
I pull in a breath and try to regulate my heart that speeds in my chest. “Um...”
He motions toward his office and will not take no for an answer. “Ladies first.”
The way he said ladies, I don’t think he meant it the way the rest of society means it.
I look from the front door, that he already flipped the lock on, to his office. “Okay, just for a minute. I need to get Payne’s coat and be on my way.”
“Yes, you do.”
I step into his office and stand between the leather sofa and desk.
Payne and I used to sneak around every room of this house when we were little, and this room was no exception.
But never when Owen was here. When he was home, we stayed far, far away, and for good reason.
I’ve seen the bruises he’s given Payne through the years and know how he treats Tallie, even though I’m not her biggest fan.
She walks through life with a stick up her ass, but she puts up with Payne’s father.
That in and of itself would do anyone in.
When Owen shuts the doors to the office, everything in me screams that I should’ve run out the door and bought Payne a new coat with all the money I don’t have.
Owen stands between me and the only exit. He slides one hand in his pocket and rubs his jaw like he’s trying to decide what to do next.
“Where’s Sadie? Payne said she’d be here.”
He continues to stare at me like I’m an experiment he’s trying to solve. “I sent her home early.”
“Oh. I’ll just say hi to Tallie then.”
He tips his head as he studies me. “She’s gone too.”
Shit.
I clear my throat and pretend this is a high school performance when my nerves would go haywire. “So, um, what did you want to talk about?”
Owen drops his hand. “My son, Ruby. I want to talk about my son, his future, and the fact that you’re not going to be in it.”
My stomach drops. “Excuse me?”
“I have been patient with Payne, which has done me no good. He still has time to transfer to a real school and change his focus so he can work in the family business someday. But do you know why he won’t do that?”
I know what this is about.
Payne is my soulmate and I’m his. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this conversation. It may be the twentieth, I’m that familiar with it.
I stand my ground. “Maybe he won’t do that because it’s not what he wants to do. He wants to be a lawyer.”
Owen takes a step toward me. “No. He wants to spite me and fuck you on the side. He’s doing a bang-up job at both as far as I can see.”
My eyes widen, but I have no response.
I lost my virginity to Payne the same time he lost his to me.
It was after prom our junior year of high school.
Girls talk about their first time being awkward and not good.
But that wasn’t me. Payne gave me two orgasms first and went to every length to make sure he didn’t hurt me. We’ve been having sex ever since.
But what Payne has never done is fuck me.
“Who can blame him?” Owen goes on and takes two steps in my direction. “A sweet little piece like you? Having that pussy whenever he wants? My son is like me ... smart. He knows a good thing when he has it.”
I feel my face heat with mortification, but my body runs instantly cold. The combination sends chills down my spine. I never should’ve agreed to come in. I try to step around him, but he blocks me.
I look up at him. “I need to leave.”
He shakes his head and advances on me one more step. “I don’t think so. We’re just getting started.”
I straighten my spine. “I have no desire to talk to you—ever again if I can help it.”
“My only goal is for you to not talk to my son again,” he growls.
A cold sweat breaks out over my skin. I put my hand up to push him away so I can get to the door, but it does no good.
I cry out in agony when he grabs my arm and jerks my body around. He presses his chest to my back and pushes me into the front of his desk. “You’re not leaving here until you and I come to an agreement.”
“Please,” I beg. “Let me go.”
With one hand still gripping my arm, he fists my hair in his other and slams me into his desk.
My cheek is pressed to a pile of papers, and the only thing in my view is an empty crystal decanter and glass of liquor.
The stench fills my senses. But I really panic when he presses his groin into my ass.
No.
No, no, no.
This cannot be happening.
I fight and writhe and kick, but his hold on my hair tightens. He yanks so hard, my neck arches. I stop fighting and cry out from the hair ripping from my scalp.
His tone turns into something I’ve never heard before. More callous. More menacing. More severe.
He lifts my head with his hold on my hair and slams my face into the desk again. Agonizing pain shoots through my skull.
“Please. Please, stop.”
“I’ll only stop when you stop,” he growls. “You’re the one holding all the power. Break up with Payne. He’s too pussy whipped. He’ll never end it with you. But you will end this with him.”
I shake my head in the small space I have to move. “No. I won’t.”
He grinds his groin into me harder. It doesn’t matter how much I squeeze my eyes shut, the tears still leak out. “What do I have to do to convince you? I could pay you off, but I’m not giving you a dime of my money.”
“I don’t want anything from you.”
He leans down, pressing me facedown to the desk with his chest. I can’t move a muscle. He lets go of my arm and pushes his hand between us. He pries my legs open violently and gropes me from behind through my jeans.
Sobs wrack my body.
“Maybe I should sample what my boy is so obsessed with, huh?”
His hold between my legs tightens to the point of pain. I cry out, unable to form words.
“We’re going to make a deal, Ruby.” He spits my name with malice. “I’m no idiot. I’m sure Payne has told you about our encounters when we don’t see eye to eye. That’s nothing compared to what I will do to him if you don’t leave.”
“No.” The word seeps from my quivering lips as tears stain my face and bleed over the papers I’m pressed to. He hasn’t touched Payne in years. Payne is every bit as big as Owen now. There’s no way he could hurt him like he used to.
“Yes,” he growls into my ear. He continues to maul me between the legs, rough and mortifying. “I will fuck him up in ways you cannot imagine. Then I’ll come after your old hag of a grandma. And if that’s not enough, your bastard brother. He’ll be an easy enough target.”
Fear slices through me. The three people I love most in the world.
“My son does not need you. He’s brilliant and has a future you do not belong in.
Payne will not marry trash, do you understand me?
The only way to protect them all is to leave.
I don’t mean break up with him, I mean fucking leave.
And if you think I don’t have the power to do all of that and more, try me.
” He holds me between my legs tighter than I thought possible and jerks me around.
“Fucking try me, Ruby. I will take you out along with your family and my son. I never want to see you again.”
I can’t form words.
“Open your eyes and look at me, dammit.”
I do as he says. He’s so close, his bloodshot eyes sear into me.
“Are you going to leave?”
My heart splits in two.
“Answer me!” he bellows in my face.
“Yes,” I cry. “Just leave them alone. All of them. Please. Please, don’t hurt them.”
He exhales in my face. The stench of his breath covers me like a swath of polluted air. Then his hold on me changes.
He’s not delivering a warning any longer. This is worse.
He’s touching me.
I shut my eyes to block him out.
“Yeah, I get it. Payne will never leave you. Just the thought of you makes me want to take you right now. But that’s messy, and I do not do messy.”
The next thing I know, I’m thrown on the floor at his feet. I scramble up as fast as I can. He takes two steps to the side and picks up the crystal glass and tosses back its contents.
“Get out. Get the fuck out and get far away from Payne. If you don’t, I’m coming after you first. Be glad I don’t like messy in my own house. Anywhere else, and you’ll regret crossing me.”
I can’t catch my breath. I grab my cell that fell to the floor and struggle to open the office door with my trembling hands.
Owen laughs from where he’s moved behind his desk.
When I finally break out of the office, I almost trip getting to the front door. I’m at an all-out run by the time I get to my car and tear out of the drive as fast as I can.
I can’t stop the tears. They keep coming and coming and coming. Once I get through the gates of the Deacon property, I pull off onto a dirt road that leads to nowhere. How many times did Payne and I park here in high school?
I don’t know how long I sit and cry into my steering wheel. But then a call comes across my phone.
Through my blurry vision, I easily see who it is.
I want to answer it. More than anything in the world, I want to tell him that I’m sorry. Beg him not to hate me. And tell him that I’ll love him forever. That there will never be anyone but him.
But the pain in my scalp, my face, and yes, even between my legs start to pound as a reminder.
Oh, God. What am I going to do?
I send Payne to voicemail.
Thirty seconds later, I’m not surprised when it rings again.
This happens for the next ten minutes straight.
Finally, I turn off the damn phone, throw it across my car, and hear glass crack. When it lands on my dirty floorboard, the broken screen stares up at me.
But it’s nothing compared to my heart.
Owen Deacon is a horrible man who doesn’t make empty threats. I’ve heard about them my entire life and seen the results of what he does to make sure everyone knows he’ll carry through on every single one.
I have no choice but to leave. If that’s what I have to do to protect the three people I love most, I’ll do it.
I’m not sure what hurts more, the thought of losing Payne or knowing I’m the one who will break his heart.
Choices...
I have none.