Chapter 18 You Are Exquisite, Angel
YOU ARE EXQUISITE, ANGEL
SEBASTIAN
Once I enter my room, I sit on the edge of my bed and bury my face in my hands.
I’ve long known Lily would be my undoing, but this is the first time I’ve realised just how far under my skin she truly is.
I have never kissed anyone like that before. Well… Anyone else. But I can’t let myself think about that.
For that brief few moments, my control had snapped and I wanted to own every part of her. I wanted to consume her.
I hadn’t been lying when I told her that I never experience true emotion during sex. It is a physical act for me, plain and simple. Even when I’m with Imogen and it is a mutually beneficial experience, there is no true emotion, just two friends fucking because of our ridiculously high libidos.
But kissing Lily… Fucking hell, if this is what it feels like just to kiss her, I’m not sure I can handle the intense emotions sex will most likely unleash within me.
Out in the main room, I hear Lily moving around, and I resist the urge to go back out.
Because despite the warring emotions, I want to explore this further.
Now that I’ve kissed her, it’s like something inside me has awoken after being locked away for years.
A primal need that is nothing to do with finding release.
Eventually, I hear her bedroom door open and close, and I lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
There is absolutely no way I’m getting any sleep tonight.
This is the first time I’ve been awake in my room whilst she has been moving around next door. Whenever Daniel stayed on the pullout couch in my office, he was in bed before me, so I hadn’t noticed just how thin the walls were.
Or perhaps I’m just hyperaware of Lily’s every movement now.
When I hear the bed frame creak, I relax a little, figuring once she’s asleep, I can at least go out and get my whiskey.
I feel like I could just neck the whiskey straight from the bottle right now. The unsettled feeling swirling in the pit of my stomach is unpleasant, and I’m regretting every choice I’ve ever made that has led me to this point.
As I lie there, scowling at the ceiling, I hear a buzzing noise, and instantly know that sleep is never going to come.
Because Lily is using the vibrator in the next room…
The noise dims slightly, and I inhale sharply. It appears I’m going to hear everything, because there’s no mistaking the breathy moan that floats through the wall a second later.
I wonder if she’s ever even used one before. From what I’ve been able to glean from our heated discussion and what Annika said, it’s clear that self exploration has been limited for her.
Her moans grow louder and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to imagine her back arching off the bed as she holds the vibrator against her clit.
I’d thought that little moan that had escaped her while we were kissing had been breathtaking, but this is so much worse. Or better.
I don’t even know, at this point.
The torture continues, her moans pushing all logical thoughts from my mind. My cock hardens at the mere thought of her lips parting, her eyes drifting closed. Her hand gripping her breast.
I’m moving before I even realise what I’m doing. There’s no hesitation as I rip my bedroom door open, throwing hers open a second later.
The vision of her on the bed is exactly how I imagined.
She’s changed into the oversized shirt she’s taken to sleeping in, and she’s got the vibrator pushed beneath the band of her underwear.
With the foot of the bed facing the door, her parted legs are open towards me.
All I have to do is take two steps and take control of the device against her clit.
She lifts her head off the pillow to stare at me, but makes no move to remove the vibrator and hide herself from my view. Instead, she holds my gaze as another breathy moan slips from her lips.
Something in me shifts, and my dominant nature takes over.
“That’s it, Lily. Eyes on me while you get yourself off,” I say, keeping my voice even as I keep my eyes locked on hers..
This is what I’m good at. I can control this.
Her eyes flare for a moment, and another moan follows, louder now.
“You’re doing so well.”
I suspect that praise will be what works best. While Imogen enjoys being used and wants a little pain with her pleasure, that won’t work with Lily.
Not with what she’s been through. Although, even before Joseph got his hands on her, she always responded better to praise.
Because, god knows, she never got it at home.
My words have the desired effect, her eyes closing slightly as she applies more pressure with the vibrator.
I’m itching to take control of the device, but I hold myself back. Instead, I lean my shoulder against the doorframe and cross my arms.
I continue to urge her on, keeping my voice low. She keeps her eyes on me, although her eyelids are barely open while her moans grow louder.
It really is spectacular to watch.
“Are you going to come for me, Lily?” I ask, and she nods, biting her lip and letting her head fall back against the pillow. “That’s it, Angel. You’re perfect.”
The term of endearment slips out without any thought, but I realise it fits well, because her hair is splayed out around her like a golden halo.
Imogen is Miss Delphine. And now… I guess Lily is Angel.
“Oh, god,” she whimpers, panting as her back arches clean off the bed.
“Pinch your nipple, Angel. See if that helps take you over the edge.”
She slides the hand not in control of the vibrator up her abdomen, dragging the shirt upwards to cup her breast briefly, before pinching her nipple between her thumb and pointer finger and tugging slightly.
Seconds later, she comes with a loud moan, her body trembling as the orgasm rockets through her.
“You are exquisite, Angel,” I murmur, forcing myself to stay where I am, even though every part of me is screaming to move to her side and kiss her.
Her breath eventually evens out, and she pulls the vibrator away, attempting to turn it off as her cheeks turn pink. It’s obvious that, now the moment has passed, she’s feeling self conscious.
I move to the side of the bed and gently take the vibrator from her, holding the button down until it stops buzzing.
She covers her face with her hands, and I take a seat on the edge of the bed beside her, tugging them away.
“Why are you hiding?”
She groans, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before forcing herself to look at me.
“Because I’m embarrassed, that’s why!”
Unable to resist, I smirk. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Lily. I can assure you, that is not the first time I’ve watched someone get themselves off with a vibrator. Not even close.”
She glares at me. “Well, it’s the first time I’ve ever done anything like that in front of anyone. Ever.”
“Have you ever done that without someone else around?”
She shakes her head. “No… That’s the first time I’ve ever used a vibrator. Annika had to tell me what to do with it,” she admits, her cheeks going pink again.
“You’d be surprised how often that’s the case with women,” I say, and her eyes widen.
“What?”
I nod, grimacing. “Unfortunately, especially with the rising increase in men only learning about sex through pornography that is filmed for the male gaze. They have no idea how to give women true satisfaction in the bedroom, or how to treat them with respect. I wager that is also the reason for the popularity of those books that Annika devours regularly. A lot of men don’t even know where the clitoris is.
” Her blush grows even deeper, but I don’t comment on it, not wanting to make her more uncomfortable.
“It’s why Dark Desires is so successful.
Yes, we have male clients, but the main focus here is on exploration and education.
More than half our clients are women looking to explore their sexuality and sexual fantasies in a safe environment, sometimes with their partners, sometimes alone. ”
She studies me for a while, and I remain quiet, letting her process my words.
“If that’s the case, why were you so against me finding out about any of this?”
Realising I need to be vulnerable with her, I feel my shoulders tense, but I know I need to be honest now. “Because it’s you.”
She frowns. “I don’t understand. Wouldn’t I be the exact type of person this place is aimed at? Is it because I have no money?”
I choke on a laugh. “Absolutely not. Look at this place. Do you honestly think I need money from you?”
She continues frowning. “Well, what is it then?”
Studying her face, I debate for a moment how honest to be with her. How honest I can be with myself.
With a sigh, I run a hand through my hair.
“The world we lived in when Daniel first met you was dark and violent, full of shady characters. It wasn’t somewhere for someone as full of life as you.
I shielded Daniel and you from a lot during those years.
It’s why I pushed for him to go to university instead of coming straight into the business.
I wanted to build something that was real…
That was ready for him to walk into once he graduated. ”
She reaches to place her hand over mine. I hadn’t even noticed I’d balled it into a fist at my side.
“I know you hate how you guys got the money. But you’ve built something good with it, Sebastian. You should be proud of what you’ve done.”
I nod. “I am, now. I’ve found a way to reconcile our shitty childhood with the life we have now.
But we still only share that information with a select few people.
It’s not like we can just bring up the fact that our father was a criminal mastermind who was so violent that our mother had no choice but to run away with us.
Daniel is lucky. He doesn’t remember much about our life before she got us out of there.
He was only six. But I remember all of it.
And that was why I chose to remain in the foster system under our assumed identities when she died, even though they split us up.
Because nothing would have been worse than going back to him as a minor with no control over anything. ”
I’m surprised that seeing her sympathetic expression doesn’t make me shut down.
I’ve refused to allow anyone to feel sorry for me and the hand I was dealt as a child.
But Lily was never just anyone to either Daniel or me.
She was like family for him. And for me…
I don’t know how to put into words how it felt to have someone so loving enter our lives.
“You never really told me how you came to get all his money, though. Does Daniel know the truth, at least?”
Reaching to rub my neck again, I’m surprised I haven’t rubbed it raw at this point.
“I had no choice but to tell him the truth, because I had no other way to explain how we went from poverty to untold riches overnight.” I look away for a moment, before meeting her gaze again.
“I’d heard whispers when I aged out of foster care about him.
He was well known, as you know. So I went to work for him.
I didn’t tell him who I was, and was only at the very bottom of the hierarchy.
Doing the shit jobs, like driving his henchmen around, doing back alley drug deals and that sort of stuff.
Wasn’t that surprising, given my assumed background.
Unfortunately, no one cares that much about the kids in the system, and too many of them fall in with unscrupulous characters when they age out.
” I shake my head, still disgusted at the broken system we were forced to endure.
“I’d heard that he was sick. Really sick.
That was why I went to work for him. Eventually I gained access to his office.
Found his will in a safe that I worked out the combination for.
And I made a copy.” I smirk at the memory of what happened next.
“I changed a few things. He was already on his deathbed by that point. So when he died, his family was particularly stunned to discover that his long lost sons were set to inherit his entire fortune. And that one of them had been working with them for months.”
She smiles, squeezing my hand. “Good. I’m glad you found a way to turn his ill gotten gains into a positive for you both.”
“Unfortunately, it wasn’t a simple case of being allowed to walk away from his family and leave them with nothing.
I had to play the long game if I wanted to keep Daniel safe.
And that’s how I came to meet a certain morally corrupt politician who saw how much money I had and wanted it for himself.
Wanted everything I had,” I say, and the humour drains from her eyes as it dawns on her. “Including you.”