9. Sam
sam
. . .
Usually, my days without Dylan are the absolute worst. I hate anytime that I’m not with my baby, and I usually pack those days so full that I don’t have a chance to sit and dwell on it.
This time is different. I still miss my girl, but I don’t feel like I missed any time with her this week, and it's all thanks to Jameson.
On Tuesday, he surprises me when he asks if he can take Dylan to my game this week, giving her the chance to see me play.
For about five seconds, I almost forgot he lives here now.
With him in the same town, they can easily watch the majority of the game, and he can still have her in bed at a decent time.
It's on the tip of my tongue to ask if he’s sure.
He hasn’t watched me play hockey since we dated in high school, and back then, he was obligated as my boyfriend to be there.
Instead, I nod my head while the word yes slides easily from my mouth.
I’m rewarded with his small, tilted smile, and my cheeks instantly turn red.
Wednesday, my practice runs long, and as promised, Jameson brings Dylan to my apartment already fed, bathed and in her pajamas. I get the whole night to have a snack with her and cuddle before brushing her teeth and sticking her in bed. For once we’re not rushed and I get to enjoy being with her.
Thursday is our home game, and true to his word, Jameson meets me right after work to pick up Dylan before I head to the arena.
Then they both are at my game in the stands.
My heart melts in my chest seeing them together and the fact that Dylan is wearing a Michigan jersey that I’ve never seen her in before.
It's pink and my number 9 is on the back. My eyes fill with tears and I mouth thank you to Jameson through the glass. After the game, Jameson waits around for me to get out of the locker room. Once I reach him and Dylan, my little girl flings herself into my arms, talking excitedly about how we fly down the ice. I hadn’t realized until now how much having her see me play meant to me.
My gaze lifts, meeting Jameson’s, and I can feel the intensity in his look.
He’s always been able to read me better than anyone else.
For once I don’t feel like hiding. When he asks that the three of us get dinner tomorrow night at drop off, I agree willingly.
On Friday, I feel like I’m going out of my mind.
In the past, it was rare for me to directly hand Dylan off or pick Dylan up from Jameson.
Not because I was being a bitch on purpose but because it hurt so much to see him.
I knew if I saw him, or if I let him talk to me, I would cave.
And if I caved, then letting him go so he could still pursue his dreams was for nothing.
My aunt pointed out more often than not that I was stubborn.
I knew I was being hardheaded, but I also did not want to hurt the man I love more than I already have.
The three of us sit down to eat for the first time together at Josie’s, a little cafe that serves breakfast all day.
Which is perfect for Dylan since she loves pancakes and consumes them as a weekly meal.
Jameson asks about my classes and workload.
I tell him about my group project for the semester and ask him about the shop.
He tells me about his and Johnny’s decision to open their second location here.
The entire time we eat, Dylan keeps us entertained with her coloring and cutting her pancakes and strawberries into bite size pieces.
At the end of the meal, Jameson grabs the check before it even hits the table.
In return, I grab the wipes to clean up Dylan’s sticky hands and face.
It's so normal. It also hurts my heart in the most beautiful way knowing what I gave up.
Now it’s Saturday and the girls are coming over for a long overdue girls’ night.
At the first knock on my door, I glance around again, checking that the wine coolers are chilled, the snacks are on the table, and there is a small bowl of queso warming in the kitchen.
I open the door and Emma pokes her head in excitedly before the smile falls off her face.
“No little bestie tonight?”
I laugh and shake my head, letting her into the apartment. “Jameson has her.”
Emma folds her lips and makes a noise under her breath while kicking off her shoes. “I’m not sure I’m going to like him here if he takes Dyl all the time.”
“It's his night,” I remind her, and she winks at me. Another knock sounds, and this time when I open it, I’m surprised to see Riley and Isla are both standing there.
“Isla didn’t have plans, so I made sure she tagged along,” Riley jumps in quickly.
Isla looks somewhat nervous. I know she recently had coffee with Emma, and they started building a friendship.
I also know that Riley is making it her mission to fold Isla into our little group despite Carter’s resistance.
In the end, we decided Isla seems like a cool chick.
While her tendencies to stalk Carter are out there, she’s really only protecting him, which the boy needs.
He's a magnet for problems, drama, and puck bunnies on a crazy streak.
“Yay!” Emma intercepts the girls and draws them into hugs one by one. “I’m so glad.”
I smile at Isla, noticing the adorable way her whole face turns pink with the attention, and the way she seems to shrink in on herself, hiding behind her silvery white hair. “I hope you brought your appetite, Isla. I tend to go a little overboard with the snacks.”
“Snacks?” Riley snorts. “This looks like a full six-course meal over here, Sammy.”
I roll my eyes at my friend and usher Emma and Isla farther into the living room where the spread of dips, appetizers and charcuterie boards is set up. “We need variety.”
Isla giggles and sinks onto the couch before grabbing one of the jalapeno poppers. “I like variety. I need both savory and sweet.”
“Girl, same,” I agree and sit down across from her.
Before we get too far along, everyone takes a room to change into their cozies and pajamas before we reconvene in the living room.
By then Emma has also shown Isla all of Dylan’s baby pictures up until the pictures I have staged around the house from her second birthday.
Everyone fills up a snack plate and grabs a drink before Riley really breaks the ice.
“So Emma, I saw Hawke carry you away. What is happening there?”
Emma’s eyes flare, and she blushes. She throws a piece of popcorn at Riley who just laughs.
Isla looks uncomfortable for a second until Emma squeezes her hand.
Isla provided Hawke the information he needed in order to break up Emma and her now ex-boyfriend.
Even though it's working out for Emma, and she’s better off without him, Isla wasn’t sure it was helping or hurting her at first. Personally, I’m glad Emma found out about Jax.
Emma fills us in on what has been happening, and we dissect everything.
Before I’m ready, everyone’s eyes slide to me and now it's my turn.
My face turns red and I cover my cheeks with my palms. “What do you want to know?”
“Ahh, all of it,” Emma snickers.
Riley’s watching me with glee in her eyes, her finger tapping her chin thoughtfully. “He really packed up his life in Crimson Bay to be here permanently?”
“Wasn’t he at our game this week?” Isla asks, her eyes widening.
My heart races in my chest thinking about everything that has happened in such a short time.
I haven’t really processed it. “He really did move here. I don’t know if you remember Johnny, his brother, but apparently, they’ve been working on a business plan for the past couple of years.
They finally decided their business was stable enough to open a second location.
Mr. Kane supported it. Johnny is helping between the two places until Jameson hires on more workers. ”
All three of my friends are hanging on my every word, their eyes wide while they eat their snacks. My hand shakes lightly when I reach for my drink, taking a sip before continuing on. I need all the extra courage I can get.
“Every day this week I either heard from him or saw him. This is the most consistent I’ve been around him since Dylan was born.
He asked if he could bring her to the game and he did.
He even showed up early to take her with him to feed her before the game.
He bought her a jersey to wear. At first I was embarrassed, wondering if he would see that I’ve kept our number from high school on my jersey, but he never mentioned it.
So I let it go. I was just happy seeing her there.
I forgot how much I liked him being at my games too.
” I say the last part as more of a whisper.
Tears fill my eyes and I quickly take another drink.
I can’t look at the girls or I know I’ll chicken out.
“He asked if we could get dinner last night before our drop off. We actually ate a whole meal. The three of us, like a little family. I never thought I’d have that.”
“Oh, Sammy,” Riley says, her hand reaching for mine.
Emma’s watching me, her eyes soft but knowing at the same time. “Sam, what happened back then? Because that boy was crazy about you. It never made sense that he would break up with you just because you got pregnant.”
My breath shudders in my chest, and I raise my eyes. “He didn’t break up with me. I ended things with him.”
“What? You never told us this. Why?” Riley asks, her hand squeezing mine. They all move closer to the couch I’m on, seeming to understand how much I need their strength surrounding me.