Chapter Twenty
LEXI
My shoes hit the asphalt, tears blurring my vision. Mom’s words were still ringing like a siren in my ears, a cruel reminder of how easily she could treat me like shit.
"Lex!”
The heavy stomp of shoes came up behind me, but I didn't stop. Even with his voice, I couldn’t look back. I kept my head down, arms wrapped tightly against my chest. I tried to swallow down the sob that was building in my throat.
I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.
Who was I kidding? I wish I hated her. It would be easier if I did.
A large hand caught the base of my elbow, pulling me into his chest. His lips touched my head, “I’ve got you.”
I wanted to tell him to leave me alone, but the words died in the base of my throat. He stepped back and I already missed his warmth.
The arrogant jackass I knew so well was gone and replaced with someone who looked like he actually cared.
He stood under the flickering amber glow of the parking lot light, his eyes tight with worry.
He clicked his key fob, and the headlights of his car flashed a few yards away, cutting through the shadows.
"Come on,” he nodded towards the car, “You don’t need to be walking alone like this.”"I’m fine," I choked out, a single tear escaping. I hated being weak. Especially in front of him.
"Look at me," he murmured, stepping closer. He reached out, his fingers brushing against my cheeks, wiping away the damp tears. His touch did something to me, and I’d rather deny than admit it, but I wanted more. Come on Lex, snap out of it.
He took my hand and led me to the car. My feelings were all over the place. Can I trust this? Him? The ride back to campus was silent, the heater blasting air against our faces. In the springtime, the weather was relatively warm during the day, but at night those temps dropped significantly.
I stared out the passenger window, watching the streetlights blend in with the darkness. Every time a sob threatened to break through my lips, I bit my tongue until it bled.
When the car idled in front of my dorm building, I reached for the door handle, but the click of the lock stopped me.
I turned, expecting him to make a sarcastic remark; instead, he stared straight ahead, his hands curling around the steering wheel. It was different seeing him like this; he somehow looked smaller than he ever had, stripped of his armor.
His jaw was clenched, brows furrowed, “What did she say to you?”
I sighed and looked away. It really wasn’t any of his business, and I didn’t need him to tell me what a failure I was too.
“Nothing,” I wiped a small tear from the corner of my eye, hoping he wouldn’t notice. “Can I go now?”
Why was he keeping me here? What did he want from me?
“It’s not nothing if you ran out of there upset. What did she say to you?” He said through gritted teeth. Great, now he was angry with me. Way to go.
I blew out a breath, “She compared me to you and Jake. She basically agreed with you. Said I would basically never amount to anything on the ice.” I turned towards him, “Happy now?”
He shook his head, “No. She shouldn’t have said that.”
I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, no shit.” I manually undid the lock and hopped out. I was done with the conversation, done with feeling like I didn’t matter...to anyone.
My feet moved towards the apartment, and the other car door opened and slammed shut. His steps came up behind me quickly, once again reaching for my elbow and turning me to face him.
I tried wrestling free, “Let it go, Kayden. You can’t make it go away. You can’t make the pain stop. That’s all it is anyway. Pain. I’ll be fine. I’m always fine.”
He took a dangerous step closer, and my breath caught. What are you doing to me?
“You aren’t the only one in pain. We’ve both been suffering. There’s no use in suffering alone. Let me in.”
I shook my head, a laugh escaping my lips as my feet took a step back, breaking contact.
“Wow, you’re really good. For a second there, I thought you actually cared.
I’m not one of the puck bunnies on campus that you can screw around with.
I made a deal with you, and I’ll continue to hold up my end, but trying to play on my feelings...
that’s a load of bullshit. Good night, Kayden. Leave me alone.”
I turned away, but he stopped me, once again.
“When I found out, I lost it. Growing up around the two of you gave me a purpose I didn’t know I had.
I felt like family. You and I have always had our differences, but in our own twisted way, we are family.
Whether you want to believe it or not,” he stopped, and it made me curious what he was going to say next.
I kept my back towards him, trying to control my breathing.
He cleared his throat, “Our parents can’t be together.
I don’t care about my dad’s money, and I sure as shit don’t care about his personal life, but this?
It’s fucking disgusting, Lex. It goes against everything we believed growing up.
Your dad didn’t deserve this, for his wife and best friend to... ”
He trailed off and I swallowed, finally facing him. “I know why we need to do this.”
His jaw ticked, “No, you don’t know why.
I have my reasons, and I can’t fucking tell you why even if I want to.
I need you to trust me. I know you think I’ve tormented you and all that bullshit so you trusting me is a big ask, but I need you to do it.
Until I give you a reason to go back on that, trust me. ”
I’m going to regret this. I wiped a hand over my face, “Fine.”
For the first time in forever, he was being different with me, and I didn’t know how to feel about it. Suddenly, a thought popped up in my head, and my fingers snapped together. “I forgot, she wants us both there this weekend, at your dad’s house.”
He groaned, pretty much the same feeling I had. “Why?”
I shrugged, “To assert their dominance? I have no clue, but if we don’t go, she’ll send out the National Guard.”
“Fuck, you’re right. Dammit. I have training this weekend.”
I didn’t say a word, and left him to his busy thoughts.
“Fine, I’ll pick you up outside here on Friday. Be ready by three.”
I nodded, “Alright. I’m going inside, night.”
He didn’t respond, but I could feel his eyes watch me all the way to our door. Since we were on the first floor, it was easy access. I put my keys in the lock and opened the door, letting myself inside. My shoulders relaxed when I realized Hazel wasn’t back yet.
Good, that gives me time to breathe for a minute.
I unlocked the door to my room, and tossed myself on the bed, trying my best to push back the nightmares I knew would come.