Chapter Twenty-Two
LEXI
One week later...
Why did I agree to this?
I’d gotten in the car with him forty minutes ago, and the urge to puke was incredibly strong. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Mom, and I wasn’t looking forward to playing the dangerous game he wanted me to.
I sat in the passenger seat with my sleeves pulled down over my wrists.
It was seventy degrees out, but protecting myself and my feelings were more important than dressing comfortably.
He hadn’t looked at me once. He hadn’t said anything either, not that I really cared.
Our relationship wasn’t a buddy-buddy kind of thing.
We hated each other like rivals of football teams hated each other.
We could barely stand to be in the same room together so the fact that we agreed to this ridiculous plan was pathetic.
Then, I remembered the way he was with me. How he was almost being...vulnerable. Was there another side to him? A side that didn’t consist of him being a total jerk?
What was even more pathetic was the fact that I’d let him see me so weak. I needed to keep him at a distance because if I didn’t, it would blow up in my face.
"You're quiet," he said, but it wasn’t like he cared. It was more that the silence had finally gotten to him.
"So are you."
"We need to get the story straight before we walk in there," he said through clenched teeth, as if he were trying to control himself. “How long have we been together? What do we tell them if they ask how this all started? As far as they know, we can’t stand each other, remember?”
And why did I have to come up with the answers to these questions? He was the one who wanted to do this, so it should be his answer.
How was this going to work, really? It seemed like a plan that was doomed for failure.
My emotions were shit right now; I couldn’t see wrong from right, and I couldn’t even get my act together.
I also wasn’t exactly keen on being in the same room with Mom, knowing that she was trying to erase me.
Like I didn’t exist. I was better off dying in that stupid crash to begin with. Maybe then, I’d be at peace.
“I don’t know...” was all I said. I didn’t know what to say. I could go and tell him how long I’d harbored “feelings”, but that wasn’t smart either. Being around him in general wasn’t fucking smart.
The house looked the same as it had the last time I was here, except there were more feminine features on the outside. Flower beds filled with plants and flowers covered the front yard, and a wreath was on the front door. Damn, someone’s been busy.
Kayden parked the car, but didn’t turn off the ignition. I watched his expression, thinking he was about to combust. His jaw ticked as he looked around, noticing everything Mom had installed.
I didn’t say a word, knowing that if I did, I’d get a part of him I didn’t want to see. The angry part, the one that couldn’t hold back even if he wanted to.
He turned off the ignition and got out of the car, slamming the door harder than necessary. I flinched, wishing the day was already over. My hand reached for the handle, and I followed, but didn’t slam his door like he did.
I watched him as he rounded the car, “Should we get our bags?”
He shook his head, reached for my hand, and my stomach did a little flip.
Should we wait to do this? Let things unfold and then announce it?
Were we moving too fast? Was this going to blow up in our faces?
Of course it was going to blow up, but I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about that actually happening.
My stomach clenched and I wanted to puke.
"I’ll get them later.”
I nodded, lacing his fingers with mine. “Rules," he muttered.
“Yeah,” I croaked, and his gaze met mine immediately.
He raised a brow, “Are you okay?”
No, I’m not. I want to run, hide, and forget that we ever agreed to this deal. I swallowed, “I’m fine.”
The door opened before we reached it. Mom stood on the other side in an apron.
It was a look that I’d seen on her many times before, but that was at our home.
Not in Kayden’s dad’s home. It was weird seeing her like this again, and as my gaze roamed over her, it made me miss Dad.
She was so happy around him they were literally the perfect couple.
Like Tim and Faith, nothing could tear them apart.
Except, it did. And it left us crippled.
Tears threatened to spill, but I held them back.
There was a smile on her face. A pure, genuine smile until her gaze dropped to our joined hands. The softness in her eyes turned to slits.
Yikes, fuck. Oh, fuckity fuck.
“Well, when I said I wanted you both to come, I didn’t know about this little surprise.” She sneered.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, my shoulders stiffened. “Mom,” I began but she cut me off immediately.
"I'm not blind, Alexis." She stepped back to let us in, but her voice was clipped. "First you can barely get out of bed for a month, and now suddenly you're dating your brother's best friend right when Ben and I have something good happening.”
"It's not like that," Kayden said, and I almost believed him. His voice had warmth to it I’d never heard before. It was very believable. “It just happened. We didn’t plan it.”
Mom’s eyes flicked to him, and whatever she saw there seemed to satisfy her more than anything I could have said. That was how it worked. The soft spot she had for Kayden and my brother was unreal. It was like she never really wanted a daughter; the boys came first.
"Ben is out back with the grill," she said, turning away. "Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes. Kayden, can you show Alexis to her room?”
I bit my lip, trying to keep the urge of mouthing off to her at bay. I had so many questions, but something didn’t feel right. She took the news as I expected and then once Kayden opened his mouth she took it better? It didn’t make any sense.
"Yeah," he agreed.
"I’m sure I can find it on my own.”
"Come on," His hand was already gone from mine, but he led the way to the stairs, and I followed blindly. My body halted when my gaze found the front door, looking for an escape. I need to get out of here. Abort mission, Abort!
I shook my head and followed him up the stairs, passing by the first few doors. On the fourth one, he opened it and there was a beautiful guest room that had pink and blues, a queen sized bed with a bunch of pillows and blackout curtains covering the window.
“I’ll go get the bags.”
He went to leave, but I turned to face him. “Kayden...” I started and he stilled, but didn’t turn to look at me.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
He turned then, his gaze narrowing. “We made a deal, Lex. You can’t back out on me now.”
I bit my lip, looking around. I wasn’t backing out per se, but something wasn't right. It was like a trap or something. I had similar feelings when the wreck happened; that’s why I felt trapped, and probably more so why I went into a panic attack.
He came towards me and caught me off guard, again. His hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush against his chest.
My breath caught, “What are you doing?”
His gaze darkened, and lowered to my lips. Oh god, was he about to kiss me? There’s no way. I had to be losing my mind.
He leaned forward, his lips hovering over mine. Part of me wanted him to kiss me. I’d wanted to taste his lips on mine again, but knew that things would change. Things would be different. We never agreed to kissing, only small things like hugs or hand holding.
But with him looking at me like this, I wanted more than anything to see what Kayden was like when his defenses were down.
Before our lips touched, something in him snapped, and he quickly let go of me as if I’d burned him.
He walked off, and it was like I didn’t matter.
He’d discarded me like a puck bunny who had been used too many times.
Someone who could satisfy him briefly, but not someone who was good enough to be around forever.
This time, I let the tears fall. Hating him was easier. Keeping my guard up was easier. Being with him, the way I wanted to, would never happen. The quicker I learned that, the better off I’d be.