Chapter Twenty-Three
LEXI
I stayed in the room for as long as possible, sitting on the bed and contemplating my life choices.
Then, Mom’s screeching came all the way up the stairs, like a villain who raked their nails on a chalkboard. I stood up and wiggled my body to loosen up, and went out of the room and down the stairs.
As my feet hit each step, the further my stomach twisted. Fuck, I’m going to puke. That’s how dinner will go: puke all over the table. How embarrassing.
Dinner went as well as expected, which was a complete disaster. My hands were clammy, my appetite non-existent. Kayden wasn’t doing any better. I watched him throughout, his jaw and eyes tight, no smile playing on his lips.
Mr. Daniel had asked Kayden how hockey was going, and it was like anytime that subject came up, he shut down all communication.
Clearly the situation with them and hockey wasn’t a good one.
I didn’t know much about his dad other than what I saw at family dinners, and while he was there, he was present and attentive.
Although... I do remember my brother commenting that he was never around for Kayden’s practices or games, and normally critiqued him on every single thing.
"We wanted to wait until you were both here," he said, reaching for Mom’s hand on the table. "Nora and I have been talking. We're thinking of putting her house on the market. She'd officially move in here, with me."
What.The.Fuck?
This had to be a dream. Please, please wake me up from this nightmare.
"Sell the house?" I repeated. This can’t be happening. My world was tilting on its side. The nausea I’d been feeling was threatening to spill over.
Dad’s house. Our house. And she wanted to...get rid of it?
The place we grew up in. The one that had writing on the wall by the pantry, lines hand drawn to mark our heights. Where Kayden and I shared our first kiss...a bittersweet memory I didn't so easily want to forget, even though I should.
"It's a house, Alexis." Mom said it dismissively, my teary gaze meeting hers. “You don’t live there anymore, and it’s an empty house filled with memories of ghosts.”
I scoffed, “Memories of ghosts? Do you fucking hear yourself right now?”
Her gaze narrowed, “Don’t use that tone with me.”
“How can I not? You’re dismissing Dad as if being married to him was an inconvenience. You’re writing off Jake as if he didn’t fucking matter. This is bullshit Mom, and you fucking know it.”
"Lex," Kayden's hand found my knee under the table.
No, he wasn’t going to tell me to calm down. No one was. I had good reason to be upset.
I glared at him, “I’m not going to calm down. I don’t care who thinks I’m crazy. That house stores memories of our family,” I turned my head to look at her, “And the fact that you are so ready to get rid of it...”
"We haven't decided on anything final," Mr. Daniel cut me off, but his tone was gentle, as if he was afraid I’d break. "It's only a conversation right now."
"Of course." Mom smiled sweetly, as if she’d already made up her fucking mind. She looked at my plate, the smile quickly vanishing off her face. “You’ve barely touched your food."
I looked down at my plate, the untouched steak, mashed potatoes and corn glaring at me. I pushed it back, "I'm not hungry."
"You're never hungry anymore."
“How would you know?” Wow. She really had some nerve. She’d been absent from my life for the most part of this last year and NOW wanted to act like she knew everything about me.
“You used to eat all the time...” Her eyes roamed over me, looking for anything she could pick apart.
My hands curled into fists. I’m about to lose my shit.
Kayden's hand tightened on my knee.
"Nora." Mr. Daniel’s voice held a warning in it that surprised me. I didn’t think he would be one to stick up for me because of the way things were with him and his son.
"I'm only saying." She took a sip of wine, unbothered. Her gaze flicked over me as if I was a bug that needed to be smashed. Useless. "It's been over a year. At some point, we need to leave the past behind us, move on.”
This fucking woman.
I raised a brow, “Is it wrong to miss Jake? Is it wrong to miss Dad? Is it wrong to be sad when they were taken from us only a year ago?! What’s wrong is you pointing out my flaws because I’m grieving!”
Her lips tilted up in a smile that was both cruel and dangerous. She never liked when I stuck up for myself. She’d especially hated that I did it in front of Kayden and his dad.
This is not the Mom I grew up with. Someone took over her body. There’s no way she’s in there. “I’m saying that I’m worried about you.”
“You’re not worried about me. You don’t give a fuck.”
Her smile dipped, “That’s uncalled for.”
“Is it? Or are you upset that I’m telling the truth?”
“Alexis, I’m not going to let you treat me that way.”
The guys said absolutely nothing, but continued to watch the soap opera unfold in front of them. Probably the best drama they’d seen in a while.
I titled my head to the side, trying to figure her out. “Treat you... Treat you in what way? You must mean, the way you treat me? The way you’ve treated me since they died.”
She stood up, placing her glass down, hands on her hips. Her gaze narrowed as if she was furious I had challenged her in front of her new boyfriend. He needed to understand what he was getting into, and I was tired of getting shit for being in pain.
“You’re blowing this out of proportion.”
I laughed, fed up with the situation. With her attitude.. She wanted to minimize my pain? Fine, I’d show her.
I stood up, my chair scraped against the hardwood floor. Kayden’s hand fell to his side as I rolled my sleeves up, and showed her. Them. I put it all on the table. Could she commit me to get mental help? I was set on it that she would. I don’t care. I was past the point of caring anymore.
My pain had flown under the radar for so long; I needed it to be out. I needed her to see what this did to me. Not her, me.
“Are you sure I’m blowing this out of proportion?”
A gasp came out of her mouth, “Alexis, what the hell? How could you do this to yourself?”
Tears gathered in my eyes, and I rolled my sleeves back down.
“You may have moved on, but some of us haven’t.
You seem to forget that I was in the car with them.
I heard the screams before everything went black.
I argued with them before the truck slammed into us.
You and dad have always put Jake over me, even Kayden.
I’ve been a small bug on your wall that you wanted wiped from existence.
I’ve always put my family first, even you.
But never once have you cared for me, loved me like you did them.
You can argue with me as much as you want, but the truth is, we both know it should’ve been me that died that night.
Maybe then, everyone would’ve been happier. ”
There were no words, and as I heaved in heavy breaths, I couldn’t stand there anymore.
"Excuse me," my lips trembled. I ran out the front door and didn’t look back.