Chapter Twenty-Four
KAYDEN
For a second, nobody in the room moved. Nobody breathed. The only sound was the chair Lexi had shoved back, and the front door slamming shut behind her.
Her mom stood frozen, hand pressed to her mouth, the wine glass forgotten. Dad’s face paled.
My stomach grumbled, but not from hunger. I didn’t know what to think, or even say.
"Did she just..." she started.
"Yeah." My voice came out rough, barely recognizable to my own ears. "She did." And it’s all your fault.
I was already moving, chair scraping against the floor, adrenaline slamming through me. This was fucked up in so many ways. Somewhere behind me they said my name, but they weren’t my priority. Lex was.
I was in the car with them. I heard the screams before everything went black.
It should've been me that died that night.
Her words echoed in my mind, sending a fierce pain to my chest. The thought of her going through that, of thinking like that, screwed me up as much as losing Jake. I got outside in time to see her disappearing down the gravel road, arms wrapped around herself.
"Lex." I caught up to her, reaching for her arm. She flinched, spinning to face me with tears streaming down her face.
"Don't." Her voice cracked.
“Don’t what? Check to see if you’re okay?”
She shook her head; her lips trembled. “The pity, Kayden. The look in your eyes...I didn’t do it for pity. I did it because for once, I wanted her to see me. Really see me.” She took a shuttered breath and in almost a whisper, “I shouldn’t have done that.”
I frowned, “Done what?”
Her gaze went past me, back to the house where our parents were. “Told her. She’s not gonna understand and now she’s going to ship me off to some place to get help.”
I took a step closer, my finger tilting her chin, her eyes meeting mine. “I won’t let that happen.”
Her breath hitched, arms tightening across her chest. "You saw it. You probably think I’m crazy, too.”
"You’re not crazy.” You’re a fucking warrior. “You’re hurting. There’s a difference."
"Don't." She stepped back, and wiped her face. “Don't do the whole gentle, patient thing right now. I can't handle it."
"Okay." I held up both hands, giving her space. "What do you need?"
She let out a laugh, shaking her head like the question itself was absurd.
"I need to not be here. I need to not go back inside that house and sit across from her like nothing happened. I need...” Her voice cracked again, and she pressed the heel of her hand against her eyes. "Fuck, I don't know what I need."
"I've got somewhere we can go. My own place, off campus. My dad set it up for me, but I’ve never used it to spite him. It’s fully furnished, stocked kitchen, the whole thing. Nobody knows the address except me."
Her eyes pinched slightly, "Kayden..."
"You don't have to talk, and you don’t have to explain anything. Not until you’re ready.
I'm not going to ask you to relive it." I nodded toward my car, parked crooked in the driveway where I'd left it.
"I don't think you should be staying here right now, nor do I think you need to be alone.
There are two bedrooms, and in the morning we figure out what comes next. "
She wrapped her arms tighter around herself, studying me like she was trying to find the catch. She wouldn’t find one. I needed her safe. I didn’t give a shit if Jake decided to haunt me. She needed to be safe at all costs.
"Okay," she whispered so low I could barely hear it.
“Good.” I took her hand and led her back up the driveway. The keys rattled in my pocket, and the bags were still in the car because I’d never gotten around to grabbing them.
The front door of the house opened in front of us. Dad stood in the frame, backlit by the porch light, his expression unreadable. "We should talk. All of us."
"Not tonight." I kept my voice even. “I’m taking her back to campus.”
Dad's jaw tightened, but something in his face made him nod instead of push back. “Text me when you’re settled.”
I was already circling to the driver's side. "Will do."
Her mom hadn't come to the door at all. I didn't know what to make of that, and I didn't have room to examine it, not with Lexi sitting rigid in my passenger seat.
I pulled out of the driveway without another word.
The drive to my apartment was about a thirty minute drive, and the whole time, she didn’t speak. The whole time, she didn't speak. Her arms were wrapped around herself like armor. It was the smallest I’d ever seen her, and if I was being honest, I didn’t fucking like it.
I pulled into a spot in the parking lot, and killed the engine. We got out, but she still didn’t say a word. I opened the trunk and grabbed our bags.
The apartment was on the third floor of a newer building.
It was quiet, the kind of place that didn't ask questions about who came and went. I unlocked the door and flipped on the lights, watching her take it in. The couch was still wrapped in its original plastic, and the kitchen had never seen a dirty dish. Even though Dad was insistent with me living here, I didn’t want his money.
Taking his money meant more control, more influence into what I did and didn’t do.
I’d grown up with that control my whole life, I didn’t need it now.
"You weren't kidding about barely using it," she said, her lips tilting up.
"Told you." I dropped my keys on the counter. I pointed to the right, “Master is through there with a bathroom connected. I’ll stay in the spare. There’s a spare toothbrush in there as well with soap and everything you would need. The kitchen is stocked if you want anything.."
She watched me with an expression I couldn’t read. "Why are you doing this?"
"You didn’t need to stay there."
"That's not an answer."
"It's the only one I've got. Don’t push it, Lex." I said through clenched teeth. I was setting boundaries for myself, she needed to let it go. "Go take a shower or bath. You’re safe here.”
She lingered in the hallway a moment longer, like she wanted to say something else. Her gaze stayed on mine for a minute, until she nodded. She grabbed her bag and disappeared toward the bathroom.
I sat down on the plastic-wrapped couch once the shower started running down the hall, and put my head in my hands.
Jake, if only you’d known what hell you’d be leaving us to.
I had no fucking idea how to act around her now.
I was already treating her differently even if I wasn’t meaning to.
She wasn’t fragile even though the scars on her wrist showed otherwise.
My hands itched to touch her, to wrap my arms around her and show her that she was safe. That she wasn’t alone.
Isn’t that what I’d done to her though? Singled her out so she wouldn’t have someone in her corner?
Fuck, I was no better than her Mom.
I sighed, grabbed my bag and went to the spare room. My thoughts ran wild and I locked the door behind me so I wouldn’t be tempted to go to her.