31. Chapter Thirty-one
“You know I don’t need you here, right?” Joel speared Ethan with a typical big brother look that suggested he questioned his sanity. “I’ve got plenty of guys on the job.”
Ethan shrugged as he followed him toward the half-finished house just outside town. “Well, you know what they say. Many hands lighten the load.”
Truth be told, he’d just needed an excuse to get out. Something to keep him busy while he let his heart heal. An excuse not to see Katie even if it killed him inside. He’d missed her while sitting out on the dock with Becca until all hours last night, but seeing her now would just complicate matters. He needed to get his head on straight first. Right now, he didn’t know how to do that other than to avoid her.
Joel’s eyes narrowed, but then he just shook his head, apparently too busy to debate Ethan over his sudden desire to help.
They walked over to the rest of the crew, which included Adam. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be just as suspicious of Ethan being here. They said hello and focused on Joel, who instructed everyone on what he wanted done today. Ethan ended up with Adam and a couple of the other guys putting in a set of stairs.
He really appreciated Adam’s outgoing nature today. His friend had no trouble keeping up a conversation with the guys amidst their work, which kept the pressure off Ethan from having to pretend he was in any mood to be social. Throwing in a comment or brief response here and there was all that was required of him.
The morning passed quickly. Around noon, Joel offered to get lunch for everyone. They continued working until he returned with a big takeout bag and then gathered around his truck.
“I’ve got burgers for everyone.” He reached into the bag and started handing them out. “Ketchup, mustard, pickles. If you don’t like it, pick it off.”
The guys dispersed to sit and eat, either in their own vehicles or in a group by the house. Ethan was the last to approach his brother. Joel reached back into the bag and pulled out a separate, smaller one.
“Here. Bacon cheeseburger, no mustard.”
Ethan raised his brows. “What happened to ‘if you don’t like it, pick it off’?”
Joel gave him a pointed look. “I figured you needed it.”
Ethan sighed. Of course, nothing stayed secret for long in their family. “You talked to Becca, didn’t you?”
“I may have investigated why you’re here at my job site and not working on Katie’s shelves.”
He couldn’t blame Joel for wondering. It was very out of character for him.
His brother reached over to lower the tailgate, and they both sat and unwrapped their burgers. Ethan took a bite of his. He appreciated his brother for getting his favorite. Ice cream was a good comfort food, but a greasy bacon cheeseburger was even better. They both chewed silently until Joel asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Ethan stared at his burger for a moment. “Everything just got really complicated after the wedding.”
“Sorry things didn’t work out like you hoped.”
“Well, she’s got a boyfriend, so I shouldn’t have hoped in the first place.”
“Technically, you had feelings for her first.”
“A lot of good that does when he’s the one who’s been dating her the last three years.”
Joel wadded up his burger wrapper and tossed it into the bag. “You’re better for her than the doctor kid.”
Ethan snorted. “You sound like an old man calling everyone kid.”
“Anyone your age or younger is a kid to me.”
“Well, thanks for the sentiment, Grandpa.” He managed to smile at his brother. “And thanks for the burger.”
Katie rubbed the base of her neck, struggling to focus on the fabric in front of her. Two days in a row, she’d woken up with a headache. Crying last night probably hadn’t helped. Even after talking to Ethan yesterday morning and trying to clear things up, he still seemed to avoid her. She’d told herself he had a legitimate excuse not to work on her shelves yesterday, but his text this morning that he would be gone working with Joel today all but confirmed her fears.
To make matters worse, Drew had tried to call her yesterday afternoon. She’d made up a weak text excuse for not calling him back, and guilt weighed heavily. But what would she say when they did talk? She had to be honest about her feelings for Ethan, but what then? Was there even the possibility he’d still want to be together? Did she still want to be together? She kept hearing Grandma’s words from when she asked for dating advice.
“You be sure, Katie, dear. Even a year is a long time to spend with someone you aren’t compatible with.”
A tear rolled down her cheek, and she scrubbed it away. If only she could talk to Grandma. She really needed her right now to sort through all the confusion. She and Drew had been together for a long time, yet it was unraveling so fast. Maybe she’d just been swept up in the romantic atmosphere at the wedding and her feelings weren’t even real.
But that didn’t explain the moment the day before the wedding.
She groaned and prayed desperately for wisdom and direction. Why couldn’t everything go back to how it was a week ago? Before she had to examine what was really in her heart.
Her phone rang, sending an electric jolt through her body. Drew’s ringtone. Her mouth went dry, her heart beating erratically. She froze in crushing indecision. But she couldn’t just keep ignoring him. The fallout would not get any better if she avoided it. Best to face it and get it over with.
She drew a shaky breath as she picked up the phone and accepted the call, cringing at his voice and the guilt it produced.
“Hey, did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No, you didn’t.” Katie closed her eyes and rubbed her neck again. “I was just trying to pick out a fabric for a project.”
“Good. I have something I wanted to discuss with you.” His upbeat, excited voice only added to her shame.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Maybe she should stop him now and tell him all about the wedding, the dance, and her confused feelings. But she couldn’t seem to form the words, so she let him continue.
“You know those nice apartments just down the street from my parents?”
“Yeah.” She hung her head, knowing where this was going.
“Well, they have two openings. I checked it out yesterday. Shockingly, rent isn’t much more than you paid in Elling. And I made sure they allow cats. It’s an extra fee but not outrageous. It would be a great neighborhood to be in.”
The hope in his voice cut deep. How was she going to turn him down?
He rushed on before she could try. “I was hoping you’d come for the weekend. My parents have a big Fourth of July party planned. A lot of family will be coming, and I’d like you to be there. Then we could check out the apartments before you leave.”
Katie froze again, struggling for the right words. Her hesitation was enough because his voice changed, and the excitement evaporated.
“A place like that won’t be available for long. I don’t think it’s an opportunity you should pass up. You won’t find anything else that nice at that price.”
She swallowed to try to moisten her throat. “It’s a lot to think about.”
Drew’s sigh filled her ear. “But why? You know you’re coming back. This might be sooner than you’d like, but what if you can’t find anything when you are ready? You have to take an opportunity when it comes.”
She considered his words. He was right if the situation was different. But even if things hadn’t changed and they would have had this conversation a week ago, Katie knew she would feel the same way. She couldn’t see herself living in Madison when it came down to it. She hadn’t been able to for a long time. Distance and being in Two Lakes had shown her just how much she’d been living a lie for the past few years. She’d been coping—making things work to be near Grandma. But that wasn’t the life she wanted. She was made for the life she had here, not the one she’d constructed in Drew’s world out of necessity.
She squeezed her eyes shut again. Everything was about to change. “I don’t think I can do it, Drew. This is the first time I’ve felt at home and had a true sense of peace my entire life.”
A heartbeat of silence rang in her ears before his flat voice broke through. “What are you saying?”
“I don’t want to leave Two Lakes.”
If only she could see his face. This was a horrible conversation to have over the phone. But then, all she would see was the hurt.
She heard him take a hard breath. He was probably rubbing his thumb against his forehead like he always did when he was stressed.
“So what now? It’s been two months, and I’ve only seen you once. I can’t do this long-distance thing. Not if you have no plan to come back.”
“I know.” What else could she say? Long distance would never work. Not now.
The hurt bled into his voice. “I knew this would happen. I knew when I left, you weren’t coming back.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to be this way, but I can’t help feeling that this is where I’m supposed to be.”
A few seconds of heavy silence gave way to a question brimming with desperation. “What if I asked you to marry me?”
Katie raised her brows. She had not seen that coming, but it wasn’t a real proposal. He was desperately trying to salvage the last three years between them, and she couldn’t blame him. Even knowing she had to walk away, it was still hard to let go.
“Then I would ask if you are really ready to get married or just trying to keep me close.”
As much as they cared about each other, she knew neither of them was ready—not even after three years, and that was the problem.
Something changed in Drew’s voice then. It didn’t raise or get sharper but developed a suspicious edge. “This is about more than just staying in Two Lakes, isn’t it? It’s about Ethan.”
She grimaced. Part of her had selfishly hoped she could keep Ethan out of this conversation. Given the awkward situation between them, how did she even respond? She had feelings for him, yes, but they weren’t reciprocated. It wasn’t like she was leaving Drew for him. For all she knew, she’d lose him too.
“Ethan is my best friend, Drew. He has been for most of my life. I care about him deeply. I…” She shook her head. “I don’t know what else to say.”
Skepticism leaked through the phone. Whatever she did or didn’t say, he knew. Maybe he had known even before she did. But her feelings were irrelevant at this point. Even if she didn’t have feelings for Ethan, the relationship wasn’t working.
“This isn’t only about Ethan or even location. We’ve been living two completely separate lives ever since we met. And while it’s good to have our own pursuits and not depend completely on each other, there should have been a point where our lives meshed if this was ever going to work. We grab quick coffees on your breaks and get dinner here and there, but we never just hang out and spend quality time getting to know each other.”
“What do you want me to do? Work and study take time. I’ve wanted this since I was a kid.” His voice sharpened now, but she could tell it was raw with emotion.
“I know, and I’ve always supported you. I understand your time is limited, but…relationships take work too.” Her own voice broke at the end, a lump lodging in her throat. She drew a deep breath to hold herself together. “I’m not saying you’ve never made an effort. You’ve been wonderful to me, and I am grateful for that. I just think we have two very different lives. I need to work on figuring out exactly what I want for my future, and you need to focus on your career. It will be a good thing for both of us. I know how important your work is, and I want you to succeed. I’ve always wanted that.”
A defeated sigh came through, and then a long moment of silence.
“You’re probably right. Goodbye, Katie.”
“Goodbye, Drew.”
The line went dead, and the quietness of the room closed around her as she stared at the blank screen on her phone. At first, she just stood there numb. Had the conversation really just happened? Had her relationship of three years really just ended? As it sank in, the emotions welled. She stepped back and slid down against the wall next to her incomplete shelves and cried.