Chapter Ten
EMMA
VOLUNTEER WORK
“Emma, what a surprise seeing you here,” Nancy said with a smirk on her face.
It had been two weeks since I’d run into Nancy at the grocery store, and I wasn’t the least bit happy to see her again. The coast was clear all morning, but now she stood in front of me with a large basket in her hands.
“Hello, Nancy. Tammy asked me if I would help with the fall carnival.”
With narrowed eyes that looked almost black, Nancy gave me a once-over and sighed. “You don’t think it’s sort of sad that you’re still playing this part?”
“What part is that?” I asked, forcing myself not to react.
Snarling her lip, she leaned in closer and hissed, “You’re not his type.”
“Emma! Emma, over here, I need your help!” someone called out.
I ignored Nancy’s words and forced a smile. “See you around, Nancy.” Quickly, I made my way over to the area where I’d heard my name being called.
Tammy and another woman—Kasey, I thought her name was—were attempting to hang a banner.
“Is it straight?” Tammy called out.
“A little up on…um… Is your name Kasey?” I asked.
“That’s me!” the woman said with a smile.
“Just a tad more up on your side, Kasey.” She lifted the banner, and I held out my hands. “That’s it. Perfect.”
Suddenly, my body was racked with a shiver, and I wrapped my arms around myself to ward off a tingling sensation racing up and down my spine.
“Texas girl can’t take the cold, huh?”
Spinning around at the familiar voice, I sucked in a breath when I saw Aiden standing behind me. Had I picked up his presence before even seeing him? Impossible.
“Aiden, what are you doing here?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I have Friday afternoons off, remember?”
It didn’t occur to me it was Friday, and likely wouldn’t have remembered it was his day off. Especially since last Friday Aiden had worked late trying to track down a group of kids who were driving motorcycles off the trails in the park.
“Right. So you’ll be picking up Hadley today.”
Aiden nodded and looked around. “Looks like you guys are doing a great job getting everything set up.”
I laughed. “Not me, I’m just an extra set of hands, but Tammy and the other moms who run this carnival are amazing. I’m not sure how they do it all.”
Aiden smiled. “They have it down pat, it seems.”
“Yes, they do.” Tammy gave me a look, and I glanced between her and Aiden. “Oh! I’m so sorry to you both. I totally forgot about you picking up Hadley, Aiden. Tammy was going to pick her up and take her and Jennifer out for ice cream.”
“Hey, Aiden. How’s it going?” Tammy asked, skipping over and giving him a kiss on the cheek. A feeling of jealousy raced through my body, but I quickly pushed it away. Tammy was his longtime friend, after all. And married to his best friend.
After Aiden and I worked out a few snags, things had been going well.
Every morning I made them breakfast and packed their lunches, and every night, I got their dinner ready.
I’d talked Aiden into letting Alice go back to his parents’ place, where she really preferred to be, since I was there during the day and could clean.
He’d wanted to give me more money, but I wouldn’t let him.
It was silly for him to pay extra, especially when I enjoyed doing it and I needed something to fill my time during the day.
“Going well. Dalton told me you guys are planning a trip to Disney World for Christmas.”
I smiled. “Oh, how fun! Are you excited?” I asked.
Tammy shrugged. “We’ve been three times already, so honestly, it’s more fun for Jen and Dalton Junior than it is for us.”
“You’ve been to Disney World three times?”
With a laugh, Tammy replied, “I know, crazy, huh? Do you like it?”
I shook my head. “I’ve never been.”
Aiden turned to look at me as Tammy gasped and said, “You’ve never been to Disney?”
“Nope,” I replied, popping my P.
“Why not?” Aiden asked.
The urge to change the subject hit me. “Just never had the chance to go. Tammy, were you still wanting to take Hadley for ice cream? I forgot it was Friday when I agreed.”
Tammy faced Aiden. “Oh yeah. I was going to see if she could spend the night. Jennifer has been begging for a sleepover.”
“Sure, if she wants to, I don’t mind,” Aiden said, then looked at me. “That gives you the whole weekend off, Emma. You can make plans.”
I chewed on my lip and forced out a lighthearted chuckle. “Great. Maybe I’ll drive into Denver.”
Aiden shoved his hands into his pocket. “Okay, well, I guess I’ll head on over to Mom and Pop’s and see if they need me to work on anything, unless you need help here.”
Tammy waved him off. “No, we’re done for the day. I think tomorrow is going to be so much fun for the kids.”
All of a sudden, I felt like an outsider. The need to run overwhelmed me. “Well, if we’re done, I’ll just be heading home.”
With a quick hug, Tammy said, “Go out, Emma. Have some fun.”
I nodded when we drew away from one another. She pointed to me and said, “I mean it. Get you some strange. You’re too uptight.”
My mouth dropped open, and Aiden started to laugh. Tammy covered her mouth, “Did I say that too loudly?”
“Yes. You did,” I muttered as I reached for my purse and headed toward Hadley’s classroom. Aiden caught up and walked next to me.
“I’ll just say hi to Hadley and wish her a fun time this weekend,” I said.
“She really has grown to love you, Emma. You’ve been good for her. I see a difference in just the couple weeks you’ve been with us.”
I shrugged off his comment. “I think I won her over with my mad braiding skills.”
He laughed, and before we knew it, kids were spilling out everywhere. Hadley saw me and Aiden at the same time and came running over. Naturally, she went to her father first and jumped into his arms.
“Daddy, I had the bestest day ever!”
Aiden laughed. “Oh yeah? What made it so special?”
“Next week I get to be the student of the week!”
I clapped, and Aiden bounced Hadley around in his arms to celebrate.
“That’s wonderful, pumpkin.”
Hadley beamed with pride. “I love you, Daddy!”
My heart tripped over itself as I watched Hadley wrap her arms around Aiden’s neck. Overcome with emotion, I turned and quickly made my way to my car. They didn’t even notice my departure. It was for the best; I needed the constant reminder that I was only the nanny.
Nothing more.
Just the nanny.
When I walked into the house, I drew in a deep breath.
With Hadley staying the night at Tammy’s and Aiden helping his parents, I wouldn’t need to reheat the lasagna I’d baked earlier.
Instead, I threw together a plate of fruit and veggies in case he wanted something to snack on later that evening.
I knew how much he loved the show Suits, and he enjoyed nibbling on something while he watched.
“Don’t be stupid, Emma,” I mumbled to myself. It was Friday night. A single man with his daughter away for the evening? He would certainly be heading out.
With a heavy sigh, I grabbed my keys and purse.
I could either get to my apartment from upstairs off the balcony, or via a set of stairs off the garage.
I opted for the balcony, and as I walked through the house, my eyes landed on the piano.
I paused to stare at it, tried to ignore the itch in my fingers to play, and failed.
Slowly making my way over, I sat on the bench. My hands came up and I played just two keys before snatching them back at the memory that surfaced.
* * *
The sound of Chopin’s “Marche Funèbre” filled the air as I played the piano. It was my only source of escape from the world I felt trapped in. The notes swirled around the room, allowing me to flee into the beautiful world of music, but thoughts of my marriage soon intruded, like always.
When I’d first married Ben, he was so loving toward me.
I truly felt as if I’d found the love of my life.
How quickly that changed. Before long, he’d started to belittle me with his words.
I was never good enough. Pretty enough. Smart enough.
He got so angry when his friends flirted with me, then made sure to tell me they only wanted to get between my legs because I dressed like a floozy.
The music got louder as I played the keys harder.
Tonight, he was gone. It was a rare reprieve.
On the outside, everyone thought I was so happy. Only two people knew how untrue that was. Ben and my mother.
“Don’t give up on him, Emma. Be grateful you have a husband who hasn’t left you and stop complaining about every little thing. A few bruises are nothing when it comes to having a beautiful home and security.
Her words rattled in my brain as my fingers moved faster on the keys.
Then I felt his hand on my shoulder—and I froze. The words out of his mouth were cold and filled with disappointment.
“That freaking song is so sad. Play something not so damn sad, Emma.”
“I feel sad,” I whispered so softly he wouldn’t hear as I played “Für Elise” by Beethoven.
Grabbing my hair, he pulled my head back and looked at me with an evil smile. “That’s better. At least you’re good for something. Piano and sex. Get undressed. I’m taking you on this bench.”
* * *
My eyes flew open as I pushed the memory away. Drawing in a deep breath, I placed my fingers on the keys and closed my eyes again.
I wasn’t sure how long I played before I felt the air in the room shift. I quickly pulled my fingers away and started to stand when his voice stopped me.
“Don’t stop, Emma. That was amazing. What are you playing?”
Glancing over my shoulder at Aiden, I replied, “Mozart’s ‘Rondo Alla Turca’.”
“Please keep playing.”
I did as he asked. The music was fast and playful.
It had always been one of my favorites. My mother hated it, and so I’d made it my mission to master this piece first. The way my fingers moved over the keys from muscle memory made my heart fill with joy.
I closed my eyes again and got lost in the music until I played the last notes with a smile on my face.
When my eyes finally opened, I looked up to see Aiden standing to the side of the piano, staring at me, his eyes wide and his mouth gaping open.
“My gosh, where in the world did you learn to play like that?”
I could feel my cheeks heat. “Lessons, starting at the age of six until I was eighteen.”
“Will you play something else?”
With a chuckle, I asked, “Like what?”
“What do you know?”
“Well, I’m classically trained, so I really know all the classical music best. Chopin, Beethoven, Mozart.”
“Pick one.”
Grinning, I tilted my head and regarded him. “I wouldn’t have taken you for a classical music fan, Aiden.”
It was his turn to shrug. “There’s a reason I have a piano in my home, Emma.”
I straightened. “Do you play? Alice said the piano had only ever been used by Lisa.”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t play, but I love the sound of a piano, especially at Christmastime.
My mother knows a few Christmas songs and always plays them on Christmas Eve.
Hadley shares my love for music and likes to mess around on the piano when my mother’s here.
I was going to sign her up for lessons, but maybe you could teach her. ”
The urge to bounce up and down with excitement over him wanting me to teach Hadley caused me to sit on my own hands. “I would love to teach her!”
One of the first things I grew excited about when I’d learned I was carrying a child was the idea of teaching them how to play the piano—
My mood plummeted at the thought of her. Or him. I’d never know the gender of the baby I’d carried. Ben had taken that away from me.
“How about Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata’?” I asked belatedly, noting Aiden was watching me closely.
He nodded.
The music filled the room as I played. The song was brooding and slow, a sense of sadness mingled in with the notes.
Aiden stood there, his eyes moving from the piano keys to my face, then back to the keys.
Our eyes locked at one point, and it felt as if we were the only two people in the world.
I had the feeling he could see into my soul as easily as I could peer into his.
Where I had emptiness, he had sadness. Fear. And something else I couldn’t read.
I looked back down at the keys and focused on them. Aiden slowly moved closer, then sat on the bench. The warmth of his body next to mine overwhelmed me at first, and I stumbled over the keys before stopping abruptly.
The only thing I could hear in the room was the sound of our breathing.
Neither of us moved for a good two minutes, then I stood. “I wasn’t sure if you were staying home or not, but I made you a few snacks if you wanted to watch that show you’ve been bingeing.”
He smiled, and my breath caught. It was that elusive smile that reached his eyes. My favorite one.
Oh gosh. Don’t do this, Emma. Do not do this.
“Want to watch it with me?”
“You’re not going out?” I asked.
Aiden stood and laughed. “Nah, I’m staying home.”
I buried my face in my hands after he walked out of the room. You are not attracted to him, Emma.
Ugh. Why did he have to be so handsome? Why did he seem to sometimes look at me as if he wanted to kiss me?
“No!” I harshly whispered to myself, pacing the room.
“No? You don’t want to watch it?” he called from the kitchen.
I stopped moving around—then I did the one thing my brain was telling me not to do. I caved.
“Sure, I’ll watch it with you.”
Slapping my forehead, I headed into the kitchen.
Aiden was pulling the lasagna out of the fridge. “I’m going to heat this up, since you’re staying for dinner.”
My mouth opened to argue, but nothing came out. At least, not until I internally kicked myself. “Oh, I wasn’t going to stay for dinner. I mean, I just assumed… If you want to be alone tonight, I totally understand.”
Aiden stopped what he was doing and looked directly at me. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
My stomach fluttered, and I knew I was making another terrible decision, but instead of listening to my brain, I followed my heart.
Or maybe it was my stomach because the lasagna looked amazing.