Chapter 33
Chapter
Thirty-Three
Joel
I bang so hard on the door it’s almost off its hinges. I’ve got no idea what I’m doing here, but I need to vent. I need to get shit off my chest, and I need to feel something other than this gut-wrenching ache that’s consuming me because alcohol hasn’t done a damn fucking thing.
When I’d found her lying there at the salon, her hair covered in blood, I’d felt physically sick. Every emotion a man can feel had raced through my body and hadn’t stopped until her eyes were on me. I know I did wrong calling the police, but I hadn’t been able to just sit back and do nothing. I know I hurt her.
But now…
Now I’ve lost everything because of my stupidity.
When Gerald opens the door, I don’t wait to be invited in.
I storm down the hall and into the living room. I’ve come here to have it out with Lorna, but now that I’m here, Gerald will do.
I’m not a violent man, but Jesus I’m so angry with her right now. Everything she touches she turns to poison, and now she’s poisoned Edith.
“Joel. What an earth is going on. It’s not even nine in the morn—”
“Is she here?”
“Edith?”
“Lorna. Is Lorna here?” I pace the living room; my chest is so tight.
“No. She went out early to meet Leon.”
“Leon,” I growl. “Of course. How could we possibly forget about that fucker?”
I’m raging.
I’m so damn fucking angry right now, and I don’t know who I’m more mad at: Lorna, Edith or myself.
Edith’s overreactive mind is one of the things I love about her, but her words last night were a blow I’d never seen coming.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s in on this, too. This shit has to stop, Gerald. Lorna can’t get away with this. You can’t let her either. She’s gone too far this time. You must see that?”
“Gone too far with what?”
I stop dead when I catch his confused look. Edith hasn’t called him. “You don’t know, do you?”
I don’t know why I’m surprised really. Lorna will do anything to ensure she appears innocent, so she’s hardly going to shout from the rooftops about what she’s done.
Gerald frowns, holding his hands up, and it is now I notice the tiredness in his eyes. The dark shadows tell me he’s not slept for days, the lack of colour in his cheeks. How bad has it been for him since we were last here?
“Joel, forgive me but what the hell are you going on about?”
“Edith has spent the night in hospital.” I yell. “I thought she was dead when I found her.”
I watch the shock entering his body as he turns a shade of grey and panic kicks in. “Wh… What’s happened?”
I step closer to him, pressing my finger into his shoulder as I growl. “Why don’t you ask your wife, seeing as she put her there.”
Needing to calm the fuck down, I turn away because despite all the shit that has gone on these past few days, deep down Gerald is a decent man. He’s just trapped in the same toxicity as I was.
“Is she okay?”
“Clearly the fuck not if she’s in there!”
From nowhere, his anger matches mine and he dresses me down like he’s my father. “Joel Fitzpatrick, you will not disrespect me in my own home, so I suggest you calm the hell down and tell me what’s going on with my daughter.”
I walk over to the fireplace, placing my hands on the wood and lowering my head, trying to calm the storm that is burning like wildfire in my chest.
I feel like shit.
After I got home, I hit the whiskey and wallowed in my self-pity while flicking through all the images of myself and Edie on my phone.
“Lorna paid her a visit at the salon to stir things a little more, and it ended with Edith being pushed down the stairs.”
“No… No. That can’t be right. Are you sure that’s what happened?”
I turn on my heels. “Edith wouldn’t lie, Gerald. And her injuries would back her up on that. Lorna pushed her and left her there like she was nothing. She could have killed her. Only the loyalty your daughter has for you is preventing her from pressing charges.”
He takes a step back, his body trembling as he guides himself to sit on the sofa. “Dear, God… I had no idea. Lorna said nothing.”
“Why would she admit something like that? We all know she has to be the one that comes out on top. She’s no doubt getting herself an alibi as we speak.”
“Leon,” he grits, anger in his features. “She said she was going out to have a meeting with Leon last night.”
“Who she only brought back into Edith’s life to course trouble.”
“Oh, I’m very aware of that. I’m convinced this court case of his is bullshit,” he adds. “I was relieved when she left last night because all we’ve done is argue since you were here last.” He looks down and says under his breath. “All we ever do is bloody argue.”
In a flash, his eyes find mine, and I can see he’s praying that my words aren’t true. “Are you sure you’ve got this right?”
I lower my voice now, hoping my tone will somehow make him understand me better. “I’m positive. Like I said, Edie wouldn’t lie. She never has when it comes to Lorna. You just can’t see it.” I take a seat opposite him. I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. Anything I do say won’t change the fact I still haven’t got Edie because all she needs right now is her dad. I just need his eyes opening that little bit more to make him realise what is happening around him. And if that means getting personal, I will. “My life with Sophia wasn’t like Lorna believes it was. It was tough. It was lonely and it was damaging. But I kept fighting to keep what we had because I believed that was what I had to do as a husband. And all my fight was for nothing because it never changed anything: it only caused more pain.” I pause, letting my words settle. “Gerald, I know she is your wife—and believe me when I say I know how hard it is to be put in a situation where you don’t know who to believe or what way to turn—but people like Lorna are very intelligent. They know exactly how to get what they want and know exactly how to go about it. They make you feel like you are their entire world and just as quickly, they make you feel like nothing. You become blind to their manipulation. Lorna has treated Edith wrong for as long as I’ve known her. And either you can’t see that, or you’re trying not to believe she would.”
He's looking at the floor, and I’ve no idea if what I’ve said has sunk in or whether I’ve spoken out of turn .
What comes next proves everything I’ve recently questioned is true.
“I told Edith I’d noticed a few things but honestly, I’ve noticed a lot more. I never realised she was hurting like she was, and it breaks me knowing I’ve let this go on for as long as it has. Lorna always comes back with the best excuses and promises to do better. For the sake of my family, I stupidly believe her. Lorna is clever, Joel—you obviously see that—and I’ve become weakened to her games and manipulations. You have no idea the shame that runs through me.”
“Believe me, I do. It seems both our wives had both of us fooled.”
The hurt in his eyes is unbearable and his lip quivers. “What do I need to do?”
“Make it right. Because your daughter is forsaking her happiness just to protect yours.”
It’s as if I’ve ripped his heart out and stamped on it.
“Gerald, you’re the only one who can change everything that is happening here. Edie needs her dad, and your absence is killing her.”
With nothing more to say, I stand, needing to get out.
As I head towards the hallway, his words stop me mid-step .
“Do you love my daughter?”
His question doesn’t surprise me. However, with the friendship we’ve had over the years and everything we have been through, I’m also taken back by it, too. Edith is everything to me, and even though she’s hurt me, I still love her as if she hasn’t hurt me at all.
“With every breath that I breathe. I’ve always loved her.”
I don’t wait for a response. I head out of the house, hoping that I’ve done the right thing, welcoming the ache that wraps itself around my heart because it’s going to take a hold of me for a very long time.