Chapter 18 #2
His heart squeezed. “Gen, I don’t know what’s going on in your world, apart from all this, obviously. But you’ve got to know, I only want to get to know Bella more. I don’t want to take her away from you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re her mother and you’ve done an awesome job of raising her.”
Her bottom lip wobbled, and if she hadn’t been so fragile, he might’ve gone over there and hugged her. But she was, so he didn’t, and was glad for the return of Bella which gave them a new focus.
But even as Bella shared about her favorite toys—surprise, surprise, a toy medical kit was among them—he couldn’t help but wonder what else was going on in Gen’s world that made her feel like it was all imploding.
Lord, comfort her.
You comfort her.
Whoa. That couldn’t have been God.
But when he caught Gen’s pensive expression, the way she seemed one breath away from tears, he knew he had to talk to her. Just her.
“Hey Bella, do you know whether your mom has a favorite cup she likes to use for a cup of tea?”
Bella nodded, as Gen startled. “Tea? I don’t want tea.”
“Mom likes green tea, and she’s got a special cup only she uses. I know how to make it too,” she added proudly.
“Really?”
“Yep!”
“Can she?” he asked Gen.
Gen nodded, wearily. “But I don’t need one.”
“I think you do,” he murmured.
She glanced at him, shaking her head.
He half-smiled. “Bella, could you please make two cups?”
“Sure!” Bella bounced out of the room and he quickly shifted across to the couch where Gen was and sat next to her.
“Gen, what’s wrong? What’s happened that makes you feel so sad?”
“This. You.” She blinked, but not before he caught the sparkle of tears.
What had upset her? “Gen, I’m not looking to cause a problem here. You need to know that. What else has happened?”
She shook her head.
“No, don’t do that. We can’t do secrets. Not anymore. I know it may be hard for you to understand but I still care about you, so if something has happened that’s upset you I want to do what I can to help.”
“There’s nothing you can do to help.” She wiped away tears. “It’s my work, okay? Something happened and a patient died, and I’m really struggling to deal with it.”
“Oh Gen.”
He didn’t know how it happened. But somehow his arms were around her, and he was holding her close.
And while once upon a time he might have let his senses get excited, in this moment right now, all he felt was the warm desire for her to feel safe, to feel the arms of a protector, someone she could be sure would never leave her to battle on her own.
Just like his Savior had done with him.
Just like he should’ve done ten years ago.
* * *
Gen closed her eyes, and allowed herself the luxury of relaxing for what felt like the first time in years.
All the pressures layering her heart—Lily, Geraldine, Dr. Visek, work, let alone all those associated with Kyle—slowly eased away.
She still didn’t understand why Kyle was being so kind, but she’d selfishly take it.
All week she’d longed for a hug like this.
Mom wasn’t a hugger, and Bella didn’t exactly give big strong man hugs like this.
And yet she didn’t sense that Kyle was motivated by desire—how could he ever desire her again, after what she’d done?
But it was like he’d noticed she was upset, and wanted to comfort her in the best way possible, allowing her to soak in his strength, his sureness, his willingness to be near.
She inhaled, and took in a Kyle-scented breath of air. She’d always liked his scent, it reminded her of the ocean. And yet she hated how her body betrayed her, even while she wanted to be standoffish with him. Letting herself be hugged like this wasn’t exactly demonstrating distance, was it?
“Mom?”
Gen instantly pulled away, and Kyle shifted back to the uncomfortable couch.
The very same uncomfortable couch that she’d forced him to sit on, just as Bella had innocently pointed out.
She now felt petty and small having done that, especially seeing as he’d been so gracious with her.
And now with this brother-like hug, with none of the passion of his kisses from Sunday night… She didn’t know what to think anymore.
“Here you go,” Bella announced, placing the cups on the rickety wooden coffee table between them.
“Thanks, Bella,” Kyle said from where he had perched himself on the uncomfy couch again.
“You don’t have to sit there,” Gen murmured, after thanking Bella for her cup.
“Are you sure?” His eyes twinkled.
Her heart twitched. Oh, why did he have to be so relaxed about things? She was supposed to be the calm one. And yet she constantly felt wrong-footed—probably because she had been in the wrong—while he seemed to skate through unscathed by the awful revelations she had shared earlier this week.
If the roles had been reversed, she would be struggling big-time. So it didn’t make sense he was being so gracious about it.