19. Roman
Iwatched Koi as her chest rose up and down as she snored lightly. After giving her a much needed tongue lashing, she was out like a light, giving me time to think about all that had transpired. “Pregnant,” I mumbled to myself.
The idea of having a kid was exciting. I wanted to go out and buy everything tomorrow but with her uncertainty, I was conflicted.
When Rae called, dropping the news on me.
I was livid. I had canceled all my meetings and left work for the day.
Koi was missing in action as I tried calling her multiple times until I decided to pop up to her building.
That was where her security guard told me that she hadn’t made it home yet.
I knew she was off so the only other place she could be is at her parents’ house.
The idea of her doubling back to the condo she once shared with Marcel had crossed my mind, too.
That alone had me ready to set the Bronx on fire. Marcel’s bitch ass didn’t deserve her, let alone be in her presence.
So, when I pulled up to her parent’s neighborhood, I asked one person if they knew her and the nigga had no problem giving up her information.
As weird as that was, I was happy. Her mother opened the door with a puzzled look on her face until I mentioned I was there for Koi.
Her demeanor changed and then her stepfather came and questioned me.
Sicily spotted me, letting them know who I was before I was let inside.
The conversation was smooth until Koi came out with a stank face. Her breast sat up in her top and the small pouch couldn’t be hidden. I knew what my woman looked like naked and the change in her body was evident.
Now I was here hoping that she decided to go through with the pregnancy. Yea, it was scary, and she had experienced some crazy shit, but the money I made would allow her to be well taken care of during her pregnancy and after.
“So let me guess, you’re staying out?” Rae asked as soon as I answered her call.
“I’m at my penthouse, why?”
“Why? Because I need you here. Or wait, maybe you’re no longer a friend to me either since you want this divorce.” I had said some shit earlier that I wasn’t proud of. Rae and I knew that eventually this would come to an end, but because it had happened to me before her, she couldn’t accept it.
Rae was in love with Koi. She flat out told me. I couldn’t be mad because I knew the effect Koi had on me, so it was inevitable for her to not feel love too.
“Rae, you know I will always be your friend, stop the shit. Are you upset because I’m entertaining Koi? She is pregnant with my child.”
“That she said she may not keep. What if she decides she wants to be with me in the end? Huh?” She was yelling in my ear.
I hated that Rae was going through the motions.
This was my second time witnessing her go through a heartbreak.
But like I always told her, if she wasn’t gonna be her true self, there was no need in entertaining women.
“Rae, please. Do you need me to come there? I will if you need me.” It was a risky take, but if I had to go and make sure Rae was good, then I’d just have to tell Koi.
“And leave her? Why? To end up back around Koi?” She sniffed. “This is not a game, and it’s not a joke, Roman.”
“I never said it was Rae.”
“Ahem,” I hadn’t realized that Koi was up. I turned around to see her standing by the doorway in my shirt that swallowed her. “Don’t stop. I’m gonna pack up my things and head home. You guys need to sort through whatever it is you have to.”
“Roman, hello?” Rae spiked into the phone.
“I hear you. Give me a few minutes Rae.”
“If you hang up this phone Roman, I swear!” I didn’t bother going back and forth with her, I put the phone down on the counter. Koi disappeared into the bedroom as I followed behind her. She pulled away from my hand.
“Can you just stop and let me talk?”
“Talk about what? Go deal with that! I refuse to be stressed.”
“I am going to check on her and then I will be back. Can you give me a few hours, Koi?” I was damn near begging her. “Please.”
“For what? This is not gonna end overnight.” She rolled her eyes. “But I’m giving you a few hours and that’s it.”
Grateful to her understanding, I ran around the room grabbing my belongings. I was out of the house within ten minutes.
Our condo wasn’t far from where I lived as I drove above the speed limit to get there faster.
When I walked into the condo, Rae was sitting on the sofa, a glass of cognac in her hand, and her feet tucked under her butt. Her puffy eyes and dried tears told me that she had been drinking for some time, and that was why she was in her feelings.
“She let you leave?” She scoffed. “She’s a better woman than me.”
“Rae, what is going on?” I sat on the ottoman in front of her, removing the glass from her hand. The strong stench of alcohol hit my nostrils as I scrunched up my nose. “Did I hurt you?”
“You didn’t hurt me, Roman. She hurt me. I mean it hurts that you want her and she’s willing to take that leap with you, but I cannot just sit around and watch you both live this happy life together.”
“But aren’t you still her therapist?” I needed to see where Rae’s head was at. She was acting out, and the last thing I needed was for her to go off on Koi on my behalf.
“I’m going to quit,” she shrugged. “What good is it to be her therapist?”
“I mean you are the one who overstepped, and you knew what you were to her.” She lifted up her hand to stop me from talking.
I listened to her ramble on and on about how Koi had played her just like that last chick. Part of me wanted to shake her silly, but the other part empathized with her. Yet and still, Rae knew that Koi was dating a guy, and she also knew that Koi was not gay.
“Whatever.”
We sat on the sofa for hours. Rae cried and vented until she eventually fell asleep. Drained, I laid my head back on the sofa, nodding off.
The sound of an alarm went off, jolting me from my sleep. Rae and I popped our heads up, looking around as if we couldn’t remember when we fell asleep.
“Shit. I gotta go.” I noticed the two missed calls from Koi and one text. It was after six in the morning. I had told her I’d be back in a few hours, and that was at eleven last night.
“We didn’t do anything, Roman. You don’t have to act like I was a horrible one night stand.”
“Rae, hush. That ain’t my issue. I ain’t worried about that.” I brushed her off. It was because of her lashing out last night that I received a long ass message from Koi.
I left the apartment, reading the message.
Koi: I can’t believe I trusted that you would really have my back.
I knew what I signed up for, but the fact that you reassured me and then turned around and slapped me in the face tells me everything I need to know.
Please don’t call me or come to my house.
I want to be done with this and us. I will update you on my appointment, and that will be all.
For once in my life, I am going to choose me.
You can do whatever you like with this information, but if you go against my wishes, I will be forced to block you.
So again, thank you for not showing up for me because you know, you’re still married.
I sat in my car stunned. Koi not giving me a chance to speak up about last night didn’t sit right with me.
All that no calling and texting her was out the window.
I didn’t operate like that, and she was carrying my child.
I tapped right on her name, calling her.
She rejected the call before sending me a follow up text.
Koi: I asked you nicely. Now I’m blocking you.
Roman: Block me and watch me come right to your house. I ain’t playing that childish shit. Grow the fuck up, Koi. We have a kid on the way, and I told you I was setting up your doctor's appointment.
Koi: I’m going to my doctor, fuck you!
I didn’t bother going home; I drove straight to Koi’s apartment. Her security guard let me right up as I used the spare keys she had given me in case of an emergency one night. Koi was in the shower when I entered. I removed my shoes, washed my hands, and went to sit on the chair in her room.
She came out of the bathroom humming and drying her hair when she noticed me, jumping back.
“You should have taken your key before you decided to get loose with the lips. If I said I’m taking you to an appointment, I am.”
“Just like you were coming back last night, right?”
“And before you even got an explanation, you went straight into removing yourself from me. Yet you put up with cheating from that nigga for years. So help me understand why he was given so many chances?” She didn’t speak.
Koi averted her eyes to the area rug in her room as she folded her arms, bouncing on one foot.
“Nah,” I stood up, towering over her. Koi jumped back when I lifted my hand. “Woah. I wasn’t gonna hit you.” I lifted her chin in my hand. “Stop trying to brush me off as if I’m some next nigga when we both know I’m daddy.”
“No, you’re just, argh.” Koi couldn’t resist me as I kissed her. “Stop.” She moved her chin. “You don’t get to try and woo me when I said what I said.”
“Oh, so you think you're running shit?” I wiped my hand down my face. “I ain’t trying to be disrespectful or run your life, but I would not be the man I am if I let you run around New York with no help or guidance.” There was a pregnant pause.
“I fell asleep last night, and while that doesn’t excuse shit, I was tired.
The day was draining, and my body crashed. ”
“How convenient, Roman.”
“Believe what you want, but I don’t have shit to hide.” I slipped a business card on her dresser. “The appointment is for tomorrow afternoon. I will meet you there.”
“Uh huh.”
“Stubborn ass, I swear.”
“So how does her cervix and uterus look? Is the placenta placement aligned correctly?” I had a list of questions to ask the doctor once they had completed their examination. Koi looked over at me with her nose flared.
Yesterday after I had gone home, I did some research of my own on failed pregnancies and how to have a healthy one.
As a man who always wanted to be a father, I was gonna make sure that Koi was gonna get the best treatment possible.
Since she wasn’t my wife, I was paying for this visit out of pocket.
She was gonna go to a woman’s clinic she was familiar with, but I wasn't accepting that. Koi knew them so she was comfortable, but I didn’t like the idea that they couldn’t find the cause of her miscarriages.
“I see someone has been doing their homework.” The doctor looked pleased. “And as for all of your questions, so far the baby is going fine.”
“I’m the one who is carrying the baby, not him. So why the fuck are you telling him everything and not addressing it to me?”
“I’m sorry Doctor. She’s hormonal.”
“Fuck you.” Her attitude was pissing me off, but because I didn’t want to show my ass in front of the doctor, so I asked if we could have a moment.
“Are you serious right now? You’re upsetting yourself and the baby.” I stood in front of the bed. “You wanna be mad at me? Cool. But that woman has a job to do, and you’re acting out. Having a tantrum is uncalled for.”
“I don’t care what you think, Roman. You ain’t shit and then want to come in here and act like you know my body, you don’t!”
“I didn’t say I did. I’m here learning. Give me grace, dammit.” She sucked her teeth. “There are women who don’t even have their baby fathers around, and I’m here trying to make this easier on you.”
“How? By going to see your wife? Not following my wishes? Huh? How?”
“Koi, let that hurt go, mama, please.” I grabbed her hands. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
“But you already have.” She grabbed her hand, wiping her face. “We just need to co-parent, please.”
“If that will make you have a smooth and healthy pregnancy, then I’m game.” Although I didn’t want to just co-parent, I had to respect her.
The rest of the appointment ran smoothly. I watched as Koi drove off in her car and then me in mine. Shit was weird, but it was what it was. I wasn’t one to make her life a living hell. I only wanted to be present in all that involved the baby.
I met up with my boy Aaron. He was at the gym, blowing off some steam.
“So wassup? You ain’t never sounded as stressed as you are.”
“Koi is pregnant. I ain’t telling people because she’s had hard pregnancies, but I’m letting you know. She’s been on one, and then Rae just won’t accept that Koi doesn’t want her.”
“Damn. So, you getting a divorce?”
“That’s the plan, but I need it to be a healthy divorce. You know I’ve known Rae for more than ten years. She is still the homie.”
“I get that. You think she is okay with a divorce, though?”
“I mean she mentioned it. She doesn’t want me, she wants my baby mama,” I chuckled, lifting weights, “and my baby mama wants to just co-parent.”
“Nah. That ain’t right.” Aaron knew my thoughts on having kids. I was the Godfather to his two sons, and I have shown up for them from the time his wife asked me to be their Godfather. Koi trying to take that away from me wasn’t sitting right in my spirit.
“I already know, but I know how to handle her. She ain’t used to a nigga showing up for her. I gotta fight her with being kind.”
“I’m glad I’m married cus dating is too damn crazy and these women are crazier.”
“You're right about that, but hold on, gimme a minute.” I held up my finger, answering my phone.
“Wassup.”
“I’m ready to give you a divorce and move on as friends. I don’t want beef.”
“Good. Neither do I.”