CHAPTER 44
BELLA
They say it comes in threes.
I beg to differ.
If that saying were true and bad shit really did happen in sets of three then I must be the unluckiest person to ever walk the earth.
If that saying were true, my bad luck should have ended three days ago when I walked into my childhood home and found my mom overdosed on her bed.
But apparently, God or whoever the powers that be are, decided that being cheated on, having my private life aired in front of basically the entire town, and losing a parent just wasn’t quite enough to test my limits on how much shit I can take in such a short span of time.
No. They decided now would be the perfect time to throw me one last curveball in the form of an absent period.
Yup.
As if the timing couldn’t get any worse, right?
I’d had cramps the day I went to the grocery store, hence the tampons, chocolate and ibuprofen that had gained me weird looks from Mabel as though she’d never seen a woman on her period before.
But with all the stress of the last few days, I’d failed to realise that despite those cramps, my period had never shown up.
And when I woke this morning in the spare bedroom of Noah’s house with cramps again, I’d reached for my phone and gone straight to my tracking app, only for the words Ten Days Late to glare at me in bold red writing.
I wish I could blame the pure fear that ran through me at that moment for being the reason I hauled ass out of bed and ran straight for the toilet just in time to throw my guts up, but the more I think about it, the more the reality of my situation dawns on me.
And thus, I came to the conclusion that the universe hates me and I’m royally fucked.
The cherry on top of all of that, though, was Noah racing into the bathroom and pulling my hair out of my face while running a soft, gentle hand over my back while muttering quiet reassuring words until my stomach had stopped heaving and I was completely spent.
It was becoming extremely hard to stay mad at the man when he keeps doing shit like that.
First, it was the morning coffees on the porch where we’d sit in comfortable silence and watch the sunrise.
Then he’d go back inside, giving me just the right amount of space I need while never being so far away that he’s not there if I needed him.
Every morning, he cooks breakfast and every night dinner is ready on the table.
And when I turn in for the night in the bedroom I’d occupied when I first started staying here, I hear the quiet shuffle of his body sliding down the wall outside of the room where he has sat every night until I fall asleep.
Every day that I spend in his presence and he goes out of his way to make me feel less alone, my resolve crumbles just a little bit more.
And now there’s a possibility that I’m pregnant with his baby.
Which leads me to now.
I push my sunglasses up onto my head as I close the rest of the distance to Savannah and Hunter’s house, the knot in my stomach releasing a little when I see her sitting on their porch, a book in her hands.
The sound of my footsteps approaching has her lifting her head and a wide smile breaking across her face. It only lasts a few seconds before she scans the expression on mine and her smile morphs into concern as she moves down the few wooden steps.
“What’s wrong?” She asks by way of greeting.
Shoulders slumping, I come to a stop in front of her. “I think I’m in trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?” Savannah asks, her eyebrows furrowing.
“Ten days late kind of trouble.”
Her green eyes widen, mouth falling slightly agape. “Seriously?”
“Please tell me you have a stash of pregnancy tests in there somewhere. I don’t think I can face any more judgemental looks from people in town.” I plead.
Savannah nods her head, moving forward to interlink her arm with mine. “Of course. Come on.”
I let her lead me up the steps and into the house. She moves straight for the bathroom and I follow her, anxiously chewing on my lip as my stomach does somersaults.
Savannah rummages around in the drawers beneath the bathroom sink for a moment before pulling out an unopened box of pregnancy tests and just the sight of it causes that nauseous feeling from this morning to return.
“I’ll wait outside. There’s a plastic cup in there for you to pee in,” she says, handing me the box.
I take it with shaky hands and thank her, my eyes following her as she leaves the room and closes the door behind her.
With a deep breath, I read the instructions and do my business, placing the cap back on the test when I’m done, setting it down on the counter and washing my hands.
I open the door, signalling for Savannah to come back in and she instantly reaches for my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You’re gonna be okay, you know that, right?”
I look at her, my chin trembling as tears form in my eyes at the utter terror I’m feeling right now. “I’m not sure I will. I don’t think I’m ready for this. Noah and I haven’t even made up yet. I still have to bury my mom. The list is endless.”
“Bella, you’re under an immense amount of stress. You’re exhausted and you’ve lost weight. There are a million reasons why you might be late, but if it so happens that this test is positive, then I know that if anyone can handle it, it’s you.”
Her words are spoken so reassuringly that I find myself calming ever so slightly.
She’s right.
Just because my period is late, it doesn’t mean that I’m pregnant. Besides, I’ve been having cramps so that’s something, right?
But if by chance, it is positive, then I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next. How do I tell Noah that we’re having a baby when things are so up in the air between us? How would he feel about it? Would he even want to have a baby with me?
He loves you, the little voice at the back of my mind reminds me.
Yeah, he loves me, but is that enough?
“Are you ready?” Savannah’s voice breaks through my thoughts and I blink down at the test on the counter.
No. I’m not ready in the slightest, I want to say. But whether I’m ready or not, I need to know.
So, with a heavy breath, I grip her hand tighter and nod my head.