Chapter 52
LILA
“Lila Morrison?”
Victor stiffened beside me, a scowl forming on his handsome face.
“Here,” I called out, rising to my feet.
It was finally the day of the twenty-week scan, and I was so excited. Hopefully today we could find out the gender of our baby. Luckily, we were both in agreement that we wanted to know.
Victor followed along behind me in his high-vis vest and chunky boots, and I turned and gave him a wide smile.
“I hate hearing you being called that,” he muttered. It had been almost four weeks since the divorce was made legal, and he was still complaining about my maiden name.
“Shouldn’t have cheated then,” I shot back, as the nurse lifted her eyebrows.
“You’re just through here,” she mumbled, her eyes still wide. “The doctor is waiting for you.”
“Good morning, Miss Morrison, Mr Rossi,” the doctor greeted us.
I turned to watch Victor’s jaw clench.
Good.
But still, I couldn’t help but smile when he wasn’t looking.
“Hi,” I said. “We’re hoping to find out the gender today; is that possible?”
The doctor smiled as I laid on the bed, hitching my shirt up and trousers down. Victor leaned against the wall, staring at me with adoration, and possibly heat, in his eyes.
But I could be imagining that.
“Providing the baby is in the right position, yes.” The doctor squirted the cold gel on my belly, and my eyes met Victor’s.
This was it, the moment of truth.
“Okay, let me just take some measurements.” The doctor hummed, turning her head to the side with a small grin. “Great.” Then she moved the ultrasound transducer lower on my pelvis.
I winced, and Victor reached out for my leg, concern flooding his gaze.
“It’s my full bladder,” I told him. “It’s fine.”
But when he released my leg, I missed his touch.
“Perfect.” The doctor turned to look at us. “So, this is the brain; can you both see that?”
I froze, and Victor moved forward, peering at the screen with concentration. The doctor moved her finger down, pointing at something else.
“This is the heart. Pumping away beautifully there.”
I reached out for Victor’s hand, and he grabbed it in both of his.
“These are the eyes, and the nose…” The doctor pointed out our baby’s features as tears rolled down my cheeks.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
Our baby.
The tiny hands were close to the head, and I couldn’t stop staring at it. The heart was strong, the spine perfectly formed.
“Oh, Victor.”
He lifted my hands to his lips and pressed them to my skin; his eyes locked on the screen.
“You both want to know the gender, correct?” the doctor checked glancing at both of us as we nodded in unison.
“Yes!”
“Okay, you’re having a little girl.”
My world stopped. I didn’t know what difference it made—because I loved my baby regardless—but something about it being a little girl made me burst into tears.
The doctor printed off the scan images and handed me some tissues. “I’ll leave you alone for a moment,” she said kindly before heading out the room, her white coat swishing and the door clicking shut behind her.
“A girl,” Victor said, still clamping my hand in his. “Baby…” He stared at me. “You’re fucking incredible, do you know that?” His voice was thick, and he kissed my hands repeatedly, until I finally spoke.
“You’re hurting my hand,” I stated with a laugh, tears still streaming down my face.
“Shit, I’m sorry.” Victor leapt up and released me, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand.
I reached for the tissues and began cleaning the gel off my belly, but my eyes were locked on Victor.
Something had happened to him, hearing it was a girl. He was crying and yet beaming.
“You’re pleased?” I asked with a smile as I pulled my shirt down and lifted my trousers back over my bump.
Victor held out a hand to help me up.
“A girl. I bet she’ll be beautiful, just like her mama.” Victor leaned over and pressed a kiss to my forehead, a hand on either side of my head. “I love you so much.”
I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there, enjoying his words and his touch.
“Sorry,” Victor said, stepping back. “I forgot…”
“Victor, it’s okay. It’s an important day; you’re bound to be emotional,” I assured him, my voice shaking.
It wasn’t to do with the scan though, or the news of our baby being a girl; it was the way he looked at me. How he kissed me, how he held me.
I was so fucked for this man. He just couldn’t know.
Instead, I reminded myself of what he’d done and asked what I really wanted to know. Had he been sleeping with us both at the same time?
“Victor…I need to know something.”
Victor stared at me. “Okay?”
“Did you and Cami…were you with her at the same time as me? Sexually?” I questioned, forcing myself to meet his gaze.
He looked crushed but rubbed the back of his neck and exhaled slowly.
“I slept with her after we…” Victor responded, waving a hand at my belly. “The time we had sex.”
The only time we’d had sex in a whole year. “How many times? With her?” I whispered, determined to know. My nails dug into my palms, but I thrived on the pain. Anything that wasn’t this pain.
“Four times in the past few months.” Victor bowed his head, and I imagined him sleeping with that tramp four fucking times.
“Did you use protection?” I hissed, folding my arms across my chest as I glared at him. God, if he hadn’t—
“I did, Lila. I did.”
I didn’t feel any better. So, I kept going, right there in the sonographer’s office like I was on the Maury show.
“Have you seen her since?”
Victor looked up then, his eyes wide before he frowned. “Only to tell her to leave us the fuck alone.”
That still made me wild with envy. I bet she’d tried to get him back into her bed, the fucking slut.
I nodded. “Would you have stopped? If she hadn’t sent me that video?”
“Fuck, Lila…” Victor closed his eyes and his shoulders dropped. “I was a fucking idiot, and if I’d had any sense at all, I wouldn’t have touched another woman.”
“That’s not answering the question.” Tears blurred my vision as he sighed.
“I was too much of a pussy to have told you, but I’d have stopped. Yeah.”
I looked away, inhaling slowly. I wanted to believe him, but how could I know?
“Shall we go?” I suggested, avoiding his gaze.
“Can I ask you something?” Victor countered, stepping in front of me and tipping my chin back.
I crossed my arms and stepped back so his finger slipped away from me, and he shoved his hands in his pockets. He couldn’t help but touch me, but he had to earn that shit.
“What?”
“Did he…” The pain in his eyes made my breath catch. “Did he make you feel like I did?”
This was it, my opportunity to hurt him exactly as he’d hurt me. But as I stared into his chocolate brown eyes, the only thing I wanted to be was honest. I was tired of playing this stupid game.
“No one makes me feel like you do, Victor.” I shrugged and gave him a sad smile. “It was just sex. With you, it was always more.”
“Lila,” he choked my name out and reached for me, and I let him. His hand cupped my chin, his thumb wiping away the tears I didn’t even realise had fallen. “Baby, please forgive me.”
“You have no idea how much I want to,” I whispered, pulling his hand away and walking past him.