Chapter 33
Thirty-Three
Antonia emerges from behind my curtains.
I swallow the scream I was about to release and scramble from my bed. “What are you doing here?”
When she steps out more, I can see the black eye and swollen lip. Blood is smeared across her face.
“What happened?” I lead her to the bathing chamber and turn the water on so it can warm up.
“I told him to stop,” she says. “But he didn’t like that.”
I wet a cloth and begin gently cleaning the blood from her face. “I’m so sorry.”
My door bursts open, and Brevan charges in, sword drawn. Antonia and I both scream.
He lowers his sword, then returns it to the sheath at his side. “I’m sorry. I heard…I thought…” He moves closer. “What happened?”
“It’s nothing,” she says.
“Someone didn’t like her saying no,” I say.
“Sabina, no, it’s fine. It’ll heal.”
“It’s not fine.” I place the bloody cloth under the hot water.
“Who?” Brevan asks.
“I can’t say. I don’t want him to do worse.” She doesn’t look at Brevan.
“Who?” Brevan asks again.
Antonia’s lower lip trembles, but she manages to speak. “Lord Daley.”
“Do not leave this room. Either of you.” He fixes a terrifying gaze on me. “You understand?”
“We won’t,” we both say in unison.
He slams the door on his way out.
“What’s he going to do?” Antonia asks.
“I don’t know if we want to know. Now, let me get you cleaned up. Do you want to take a bath?” If Caiden had his way last night, I know I would have needed to wash myself over and over.
“I’m supposed to take care of you,” she says.
“Hush. Tonight, you be the princess and I’ll be your lady.” I smile gently.
“I’d like a bath,” she says. “As hot as possible. I don’t even want to feel my skin ever again.”
“I understand,” I say. “Roses? Lavender?”
“No lavender,” she says. “Orange?”
I look at the oils and salts sitting near the tub. There’s a pot of salts that has flecks of orange in it. I smell it to check. “We have orange salts.”
She nods. “Thank you.”
“Do you need help getting out of your clothes?”
She nods, and I notice she’s moving slowly. Her face wasn’t the only thing injured. When Brevan comes back, I might have to hunt this man down and kill him myself.
Once she’s in the tub, I give her some privacy and close the door.
Her cries are soft at first, then grow to louder sobs.
I want to make it all go away. To fix it for her.
But the only way to fix it is to eliminate the problem.
Men like Caiden who think they can have anything they want.
An empire that treats women as property and not people.
I’m starting to understand what my mother fought for. And moreover, I understand why she was willing to die for it.
I must be successful. Not for revenge. But for justice for Antonia, for me, for everyone who’s been harmed by the way things are.
I collect myself as much as I can, then walk over to my door. Brevan is in the hallway. “You’re back.”
“I didn’t want to intrude. Is there anything you need?” his tone is gentle.
“He hurt her.” My eyes burn from holding back tears.
“I know,” he says.
And somehow, I know he understands the rage and sorrow behind my words.
“I took care of it.”
I don’t know what he did, but I trust him. The realization is both oddly calming and terrifying. “Thank you.”
He nods. “Good night, Princess.”
Antonia shares the bed with me. She wakes from nightmares several times. She’s terrified of being touched but doesn’t want me to leave her side. I’m careful to give her space and offer soothing words when she wakes. I don’t sleep at all.
When morning arrives, she excuses herself to dress in her room, then returns shortly after with all my ladies. Bruises linger but she’s wearing a smile. When the others ask her about her injuries, she laughs and tells a story about falling off a horse.
I change the subject to the weather as I invite everyone to the dining chamber. Antonia catches my eye and mouths, thank you.
It’s snowing. The first snow of the season. The servants bring hot chocolate with our breakfast.
I keep watching Antonia, waiting for her to break, but she doesn’t.
She’s strong, but she shouldn’t have to be.
It’s not long after breakfast when a knock sounds. I’m already dressed for training and after a quick goodbye to my ladies, I leave the room. I’m grateful they’re all together so Antonia isn’t alone.
Brevan is silent on our walk to the training room. We’re nearly there when we hear someone running behind us.
“Enforcer!”
There’s an out-of-breath legionnaire behind us. We double back to meet him. “I have news.” He glances over at me nervously.
“You can speak in front of her,” Brevan says. “She is going to be our next empress.”
“Of course, it’s just…not really something a lady should hear,” he says.
“I’ll live,” I assure him.
He hesitates again, but Brevan gives him a look and he speaks, “We found a body this morning that was mauled by wolves. It took us a while to identify it, but we think it’s Lord Daley. Nobody’s seen him since last night.”
I gasp, then cover my mouth with my hand. The name registers a moment later and I glance over at Brevan.
“Why was he out alone at night?” His tone is cold.
“Nobody knows.”
“He was never the brightest,” Brevan says dismissively. “Probably took a snack with him when he went for a walk.”
I lift my brows. Really? A snack? Nobody is going to believe that.
“That would explain it,” the legionnaire says. “We haven’t seen any wolf attacks in years.”
“Send a unit to investigate the castle grounds. Find out if any new dens have been built close by. See if there were any cubs born. If he got too close to a pup, the mother wouldn’t have hesitated.
Tell the others to be careful but not to harm the wolves.
Those beasts in our woods have protected us from assassins and thieves too many times to harm. ”
“Thank you, Enforcer. I’ll pass it along.” He runs off in the same direction he came from.
“What a strange situation. A lord eaten by wolves.” I watch Brevan out of the corner of my eye.
“Everyone knows if you go out at night with food in your pockets, you’re tempting the wolves. It’s his own fault, really. He should have been more careful.” He starts walking again.
“Yes, I’m sure he’ll be missed. Not by me, but by someone.” I brush my fingers against his, careful not to linger. “Thank you.”
Once we’re in the training room and the door is closed, Brevan pulls a bundle of fabric tied with a string from his waistband. “I got these for you.”
I accept the package and untie it. I can tell by the shape that it’s two knives before I open it, but when I remove the fabric, I gasp.
The handles are blue and white with little shards of sea glass embedded in them.
The iridescent blue blades shift to purple or teal depending on the way I move them in the light.
I’ve heard the Pendralian steel workers could make magic with their wares, but I’d never seen it before.
“These are gorgeous.” I look up at him. “They have to be worth a fortune. I can’t possibly accept them.”
He’s smirking.
“What?”
“I knew you’d say that. Turn them over.”
I comply and on the handle is my name engraved in the Iskvalandian spelling. The other handle says, Princess.
My vision is blurry, and I blink back tears. “Thank you. This is the most thoughtful gift anyone’s ever given me.”
“Keep them hidden if you can.” He points to the shards of glass. “Those pieces came from relics. It should improve your aim and make them more deadly.”
“You’re hiding relics,” I say.
“Sometimes,” he admits.
“Thank you for sharing that with me,” I say.
“I hope you never need to use these. Keep them clean, and if you bring them to me each month, I can keep them sharp for you.”
“What if you’re not here?” I ask.
“Remember the shop where you got your necklace?”
I touch the gem to make sure it’s still there. I haven’t taken it off, and most of the time, I forget I’m wearing it.
“He can take care of it for you. You can trust him.”
“Are you selling relics to him?” I ask.
“No. To him, they’re colorful bits of glass I found on my travels.”
I hold the knives to my chest. “Thank you, truly.”
“You’re welcome. Now, let’s see what you can do with them.”
We spend the next hour practicing with the knives. They’re easier to throw than the blades in the basket, but they’re sharp. I nick my finger, drawing blood. Brevan makes us go back to the practice knives after that.
When we finish, I wrap my presents back up in the fabric and tie the bundle closed so my ladies won’t see what’s inside. “How will I carry these? I can’t exactly wear a holster.”
“Perla is making your ballgown, right?” he asks.
I nod.
“She sewed knife pockets into all the dresses the empress wore. You might want to check yours.” He holds open the door for us. “Come on, I’m sure you’re eager to get back to your ladies.”
His words surprise me. Not because of what he said, but because I find I do want to return to them.
Especially Antonia. I hold the knives close to my chest as we walk down the halls.
I’m going to check all my gowns when we return.
If anyone tries to harm any of my ladies, I won’t hesitate to protect them.
Is that why the empress had knives on her? Or was it for a different reason? Every time I learn something about her, I’m left with more questions. “What was she like, the empress?”
“Strong. But quiet. I never once saw her disagree with the emperor, but Caiden told me she was fierce behind closed doors. I have a feeling she’d have liked you.”
A group of legionnaires straighten as soon as they see us. Brevan nods to them and they return the gesture with stiff movements.
I wait until we’re out of earshot. “How did she die?”
“Poison,” he says.
How was that possible? I found her books. There were poisonous plants that were carved into the columns around her garden space. The one her mourning husband destroyed after her death…And there was the hidden garden.
“You know my old rooms?” I ask.
“Yes, they’ve sealed the passageway” he says.
“No that’s not what I’m asking. Whose rooms were they?”
“They belonged to the empress’s favorite lady,” he says.
“I thought Marian was her favorite.”
“No,” he says. “Marian is the only one who agreed to stay after the empress’s death. All the others asked to join a temple in her honor.”
I wonder if they’d speak to me if I visited them. Maybe they could answer some of my questions. I’m still thinking about how I can convince them to allow me to visit the sun goddess’s temple when we reach my room.
“Same time tomorrow?” I ask.
“I think we’ll take the day off tomorrow,” he says. “You might be busy.”
My heart sinks. “I thought Caiden was still away.”
“He is.” He leans over me and knocks on the door.
It opens immediately, and my ladies chatter with the same energy they did when I first arrived at the castle. Then I notice that there’s a new face among them. I gasp. Shock and excitement explode through me—it feels like I was just dropped into cold water.
“Anya?” I can’t believe it. How is she here? How is this real? Am I imagining things?
She smiles wide and tears glisten in her eyes. “Nice to see you again, Princess.”
She’s dressed like a lady, and I hardly recognize her.
“How are you here?” I look over at Brevan. “Did you do this?”
“I may have talked Caiden into letting you have a lady from home,” he says. “Told him you were homesick.”
I throw my arms around his shoulders and hug him. He pats me on the back and moves out of the embrace quickly. His face is red. “I’m glad I could be of service, Your Highness.”
I realize my mistake and take a step away from him. “Thank you.” Then I enter my room and close the door before my ladies can ask any questions.
Anya crosses the room and pulls me in for a hug. I squeeze her back. I don’t deserve this kindness from Brevan. I know he’s falling for me, but he’s falling for someone who doesn’t exist. Anya is a good reminder of who I really am. Of where I came from and why I’m here.
I realize that when I read Sabina on the knife, I read it as my name. Not hers. I need to get out of here before I lose myself or before I destroy Brevan.
“Thank you for coming,” I whisper.
“Of course. I’d have been here sooner if you let me,” she says.
“I know.”
“Later, I want to know anything new. I want to help,” she whispers.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“I know what I’m getting into,” she replies, then releases me, and quickly steps back.
The other ladies are watching us. Genevieve and Charlotte smile as Anya returns to the group, but Antonia has her arms crossed in front of her chest and she’s chewing on her bottom lip. She looks worried. She probably thinks she’s lost the place she’s been working to gain.
“How about cards?” I ask. “Genevieve, Charlotte, can you teach Anya how to play Assassin and then we can all play the next hand? Maybe in the dining chamber? I’ll call for more hot chocolate.”
“Of course,” Genevieve chirps. Charlotte nods, then grabs the cards from the table near the fireplace. Anya happily joins them and they retreat, leaving me with Antonia.
“How are you?” I ask.
She drops her arms and fixes a smile on her lips. “I’m great. Your friend is lovely. She said you’ve known each other since you were children.”
“Teenagers,” I clarify.
“That’s sweet.”
“I’m going to need your help with something,” I say in a conspiratorial tone.
She perks up at that, her eyes widening slightly. “Anything.”
“Help her fit in? Her family was newly noble. She may need some assistance so she looks like she belongs.” I’m not worried about Anya. While I worked behind the scenes, she was in the field. She’s lived a thousand lives already, traveled all over the empire. She can blend in anywhere.
I am worried about Antonia. She’s chasing power. Making her think she’s my confidant may gain me her loyalty. At least for now.
“Of course,” she says.
“I couldn’t ask for anyone better by my side.” I offer my hand, unsure if she wants to be touched. She takes it and I give her a squeeze. “Thank you.”
We spend the rest of the day sipping hot chocolate and catching Anya up on the court gossip over cards. She gets along with the other ladies, and it’s hard to believe she is just a rebellion kid like me.
She stays behind after the others leave, and as soon as the door closes, she passes me a piece of paper.
“From Lee. I sort of visited him after you stopped by.” She winces. “I’m sorry. I was worried about you. He gave me this just in case I saw you again.”
I open the note, read it, then crumple it into a ball. Rage burns in my chest.
How could he do this?