Chapter 32
brANDON
Ripping myself away from her took every scrap of my willpower.
I went there for answers—to get closure—but instead I was running out of there with more hope than was healthy for someone like me.
Someone desperate to find and hold on to love.
Years of therapy had taught me a lot of coping mechanisms and how to set realistic expectations when it came to others, but all the therapy in the world couldn’t make me walk away from Lexi.
She had a hold on me I couldn’t shake, not that I wanted to.
After I left her apartment that night, I went home and swiftly dealt with the raging hard-on I’d left there with and went to bed. I awoke the next morning to a text from Lexi.
Lexi
Hey, just making sure we’re good? You ran out of here like your ass was on fire last night.
Me
Yeah, we’re good. I’m glad we’re starting over. I guess you unblocked me.
Lexi
Yeah, sorry about that too. I was a mess and couldn’t bear hearing from you, but I also didn’t want to know when you gave up. That would’ve hurt as bad.
Me
You working today?
Lexi
No, I’m off today. You?
Me
I’m volunteering at the hospital, and then I’ve got a few clients this afternoon. Can I take you out tonight?
Lexi
Like on a date?
Me
Yes, Lexi, like on a date.
Lexi
Fine, but I’m still me. Just because I agreed to try with you doesn’t mean I can tolerate too much mushy crap.
I laughed out loud. She hadn’t changed as much as I thought, but that was a good thing. I didn’t want a different version of her; I just wanted her to let me in. I wanted us to grow together. If that meant I had to dial back the romance, so be it.
Me
Noted. Dial back the romance.
Lexi
I’m probably going to regret this, but you do you. If it’s too much, I’ll let you know.
Me
Really?
Me
Nevermind. Forget that. I’ll pick you up at 8.
Lexi
Okay, see you then.
I put the phone back down on the bedside table and grinned into my pillow.
I couldn’t believe how the last twenty-four hours had gone.
We were really going to give this a go, and I was excited to see how it would play out.
Without sex clouding either of our judgments, I was confident we could make it work.
I arrived at Lexi’s place just before eight o’clock with a bouquet of flowers in hand.
Initially, I thought about skipping the flowers, but Lexi had told me to do my thing.
So there I was standing at her door with flowers, overflowing with nervous excitement.
I knocked on the door and held my breath.
It still felt as if this wasn’t actually going to happen.
I’d run through so many scenarios of how this would go—many of which ended with Lexi slamming the door in my face.
She opened the door moments later, and all of my uneasiness floated away.
“Wow,” I said, taking her in from head to toe. She wore a curve-hugging sweater dress and knee-high boots and had her hair and makeup done to perfection.
As I was searching for an appropriate compliment to describe how good she looked, Lexi smoothed her hands over her dress. “Is it too much? Should I change?”
“Change? Never. You look incredible.”
“I never wear dresses, but I also never date… sooooo.” She did a little flourish with her hands, gesturing to her outfit. “Ta-da!”
“It’s perfect. Really, you look great. Here, these are for you,” I said as I pushed the flowers into her hands.
The look of horror on her face made me second-guess the gesture for the hundredth time today. “Too much?” I parroted her sentiments about her attire.
She schooled her features before raising her eyes to mine.
“No, sorry. They’re beautiful. This is nice.
It’s just—” She paused to chew her lip. Her very plump, very kissable lip.
Fucking stop it. Behave. “I don’t think anyone’s ever given me flowers before except for my mom when I graduated nursing school. ”
“Are you okay?” I couldn’t make out what was going on in that beautiful head of hers.
“This is weird.” Oh, fuck me. The flowers were too much. I knew I should have dialed it back.
“Shit, I’m sorry. If it’s too much, I can—” I reached for them, but Lexi hugged them to her chest.
“Don’t you dare. Just because this is weird as shit, doesn’t mean I don’t want them.” She turned and walked into the kitchen. I followed her, closing the door behind me.
A laugh escaped me, and I shook my head as I reached where she was rummaging through a cabinet. “What’s weird exactly?”
“All of it. We’re going on a freaking date, Brando. My first date. Like ever.”
“What? You didn’t go on any dates when you were in school?”
“Nope. Not a one.” Lexi pulled a pint glass out of a cabinet and eyed it skeptically. “Think this will work?” She put the glass next to the flowers to measure and then put it back and continued her hunt for something to put the flowers in.
“Let’s circle back to the fact that you’ve never been on a date.” Stopping her search, she turned to look at me.
“Look, it’s not a big deal. Let’s not make it a whole thing, okay?
” Lexi turned back to her task. “Oh, shit, this should work.” Triumphantly, she spun around with a large pitcher in her hand.
“I usually use this for margs, but it’ll have to do.
” She filled the pitcher with water and arranged the flowers in it. “So where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Ugh, you’re so annoying, but fiiiiiiine. Let’s go before I change my mind. You’d better be feeding me, though, because I’m fucking starving.”
“So you’re telling me you won’t eat any yellow candy?” I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. We’d been laughing practically non-stop since we arrived at the restaurant. Things were definitely going better than I had expected, and my nerves were gone.
“I don’t know why anyone would. They’re disgusting. It’s like eating freaking kitchen cleaner.”
“But you like lemons?”
“They’re not mutually exclusive, Brando. Lemon candy has a fake lemon flavor and tastes like shit. Real lemons are delicious.”
“Do you want another margarita before we go to the next location?” I asked her, eyeing her empty glass.
“What next location? I thought this was the date.”
“It’s only the first stop. Wait, you thought a Mexican restaurant was the surprise?”
“Well, it was a surprise since I didn’t know where we were going. But now that you’ve told me there’s more, let’s get out of here. I can’t wait to see what you’ve got in store for me.”
I paid the bill, and we left the restaurant, heading towards the subway instead of my car.
“If you tell me the surprise is taking the subway, Brandon, I’m going to have to pass. Been there, done that, and I am not a fan. You know, a guy once jerked off onto an oncoming train from the platform right in front of me? It was terrifying and impressive at the same time.”
I was laughing so hard my face hurt. “Holy shit. For real?”
“Yeah, the subway is a wild place, not for the faint of heart, but hey, if that’s how you want to spend this date, who am I to judge?” She shrugged and swiped her card, moving through the turnstile before I could pay for her.
I quickly caught up with her. “You should’ve let me pay for the subway.”
“Why? Listen, I let you get dinner, but just because we’re on a date, doesn’t mean you have to pay for everything or that I’m now suddenly helpless.”
I shook my head. “Believe me, I’d never call you helpless, but I want to take care of you tonight. Can you let me do that?”
“You’re really testing my limits, but I’ll try.”
As we approached our final destination for the evening, a block away from where we got off the subway, I turned to watch Lexi’s reaction.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Lexi was bouncing up and down, clearly excited about our next activity. “I’ve always wanted to do this!”
After checking in at the front desk and securing ourselves a couple of drinks from the bar, we made our way to our assigned lane.
While a staff member went over some instructions and did a brief demonstration, Lexi was practically chomping at the bit to get started.
She bounced from one foot to the other, constantly moving.
“My turn?” she asked excitedly, when the staff member had finished their demonstration.
“Here ya go,” he said, handing Lexi the axe.
Lexi gripped it and gave me a wink. Oh, fuck, maybe handing her a weapon was a bad idea.
Thwack. Dead center. “Ha! You’re going down, Brando!”