Chapter 10
Louisiana
My sister moved back home after being away for thirteen years.
Her husband passed away, and she’d promised him she’d raise their son on the farm.
We’ve talked a few times, but we met up last week at the diner, and she invited Charlie, Amy, and me to come out for a cookout.
I knew Charlie wouldn’t want to. He never wanted to do anything with my family lately.
He spent his days at the local bar chatting with whomever would talk to him about the injustices that he suffered from when it came to a job.
Most days he staggers into the house in the evening, reeking of booze.
I’d tried my damndest to shelter Amy from it, but she’s old enough now that I’m afraid she knew what was going on.
“Can I help?” Amy peered into the kitchen. I was putting the finishing touches on a cake I’d made to take to Codie’s.
“Sure. You can peel those eggs over there and once I cut them, you can dump the middles out.” I smiled as I pointed to the colander of boiled eggs.
Codie hadn’t asked that I bring anything, but us Westbrook girls knew you didn’t show up to someone’s house without food when you were invited over, even if they were family.
“Lou!” Charlie barked from his recliner. “When are we supposed to be over there?”
“I told you yesterday we needed to leave here by five,” I called back. I knew he was sitting there watching something on TV while he sipped away on his glass of whiskey.
“I don’t know why this has to be a family thing,” he grumbled.
I chose not to answer. I honestly didn’t care if he came or not.
I was excited my sister was back, and I wanted to get to know my nephew better.
Plus, she shared with me that she was rekindling things with Hank.
Part of me wondered if I should move back home and hook up with one of the farmhands.
Every time I’d get up the nerve to walk away, Charlie would do something sweet and suck me back in though, and the few times I confided in my mom, she’d talk me off the ledge and make me try harder.
I didn’t know how much harder I could try at this point though.
I’d been trying for years now, and things just seemed to be getting worse.
I can’t tell you the last time Charlie went on a job interview.
I was working full-time and putting in extra hours by picking up some clients on the side.
Amy was dancing every night of the week and we traveled on weekends.
I’d been living the life of a single mom for the last year, and every time I tried to fix things, it only seemed to make them worse.
“Are you done yet?” I could hear his feet heavy on the floorboards as he moved toward the kitchen.
“Why don’t you go get ready?” I motioned to Amy. She scurried off toward her room as Charlie rounded the corner.
“How much stuff are you taking?” He motioned with his arms as he looked around the kitchen. I probably did make too much, but it was my sister.
“I haven’t gotten to visit with her in years and I wanted to do something nice.” I brushed my hands down my apron. “This is everything. Can you help me load it in the car?”
“I’ve got my own stuff to do,” he grumbled as he turned and disappeared.
“Of course you do,” I muttered under my breath.
I grabbed a picnic basket, and my cake cover and began packing everything so I could load it into my car.
After carrying it out, I put my apron away, grabbed my purse, and announced that we needed to leave.
Amy came skipping out, all smiles, and Charlie was lumbering after her.
We piled into my car and began the drive to my parents’ farm. “Can you pretend to be happy while we’re there?” I muttered as Charlie drove.
“I am happy.” He glanced over at me with a forced smile. “I’m always happy. I have so much to be happy about.”
“Don’t be like that.” I sighed as I glanced at Amy in the back seat. She was watching out the window pretending to ignore us, but I knew she was counting the minutes until she could escape.
When we pulled into the driveway of the farm, we made our way back to where the guesthouse was seated among the trees.
My dad had given the guesthouse to Codie when she’d moved home.
A basketball hoop was in a clearing in front of the house, and Codie’s car was parked just to the side of the front door.
Charlie parked the car and climbed out and just stood there as Amy and I climbed out.
The tension was thick on the ride over and seemed to be growing thicker by the second.
Amy stood there staring at the ground, twisting her hands together as my sister opened the door. “Go say hi.” Charlie motioned toward Codie.
“Do you need any help?” My sister seemed to notice that something was wrong, but didn’t say anything.
“She’s fine. Cooked way too much, if you ask me. “Charlie walked past Codie and into the living room, leaving Amy and me outside.
“Hey, sweetie. Jack is in there watching TV if you wanna go find him.” She smiled and Amy darted inside. “Do you need me to grab anything?” She touched my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin.
“I’m fine.” I sucked in a breath and attempted to control the tears that were beginning to fill my eyes. One began to leak from the corner, and I angrily wiped at it before blinking the others away.
“What’s wrong?” My sister attempted to hug me, but I shook my head and backed away. I didn’t want to lose it, and right now that’s exactly what would happen if I let her hug me.
“I’m fine. I forgot to mention that we were doing this, and Charlie had already made plans.
I was just a misunderstanding that I could have prevented.
We got in a bit of a disagreement on the way here.
” I brushed her off. I didn’t have the heart to tell her how I’d been questioning how much longer I could do this for the past several months.
“Ok, well, we can do this another time if you guys want to?”
“No, we’re here now. He can reschedule his plans.” I forced a smile and grabbed the dish of beans from the back seat. She grabbed the cake, and followed me in.
After setting the cake down, she offered us drinks. There was a pitcher of lemonade sitting on the counter. Hank was out back lighting the grill; he must have just walked over from the bunkhouse.
“Got anything stronger?” Charlie smirked as he sipped his lemonade.
“I have some wine I opened the other night.” Codie opened the fridge and grabbed the bottle of wine.
“I was thinking a man’s drink, like whiskey.” He chuckled as he set the lemonade on the counter.
“Sorry, no, but Hank might have some at the bunkhouse. I can ask him,” she offered.
“No, you don’t need to do that.” I shot Charlie a look and he glared at me.
“You can have a drink when we get home.” I tried to placate him.
He shook his head and rolled his eyes before going outside.
Codie stood there in disbelief as he went from cold to friendly when he started talking to Hank.
As soon as the back door closed, he struck up a friendly conversation as if he didn’t just snap at me over a drink.
“It’s been a rough day for him,” I lied. It seemed so easy to make excuses for his behavior. I’d been doing it for so long that it was second nature now. “Can I help with anything?” I changed the subject.
“I think we’re good. Once the steaks are finished, we can serve our plates and eat.” Codie smiled. There was laughter coming from down the hall, and it was so nice for Amy to have someone to play with. She was just a year younger than Jack.
“I hope things go this smoothly when school starts back up. He doesn’t have any friends yet.” Codie sighed.
“I think he’ll be fine. Kids can handle more than we give them credit for.” The words fell from my lips so easily and I wondered how much I actually believed them. Amy had been dealing with a lot lately and I secretly hoped it wasn’t affecting her in a negative way.
Dinner conversation was filled with talk of Codie settling in and our father finally allowing her to help. She’d moved back home to take over the financial side of things, and our dad was fighting her tooth and nail for control. It seemed like things were finally moving in her direction, though.
“Maybe we can make this a weekly thing. I’m sure over the years Amy’s been out her quite a bit,” Codie suggested.
“Actually, we don’t come here much.” I looked away. It hurt that the only time I saw my sisters and parents were when they came out to our place.
“It’s an hour drive,” Charlie grumbled as he pushed food around on his plate. “We have a lot going on and just don’t have the time.”
After we finished, I helped clean up. Charlie began pacing as if we had somewhere else to be before gruffly demanding that we leave.
“It’s getting late. We need to go,” he snapped. “Amy, get your things.” He motioned in the direction of where the kids were chatting away with Hank.
“I guess we’re heading out.” I shrugged. I leaned over and hugged my sister before grabbing my purse. “Come on, Amy,” I called. We went outside and climbed into the car.
Charlie peeled out of the driveway and rushed home. “What was that all about?” I touched his arm.
“I want to get home. I’m tired,” he growled.
“Ok, but you didn’t have to be so rude,” I muttered.
“Why are you so up in their business all the time? You act like your family is the more important than me!” He stabbed at his chest with his finger. “I’m supposed to be number one. Me!” By this time we were home. He cut the engine and climbed out.
Night, Mama.” Amy hugged me as we got out of the car. She rushed ahead of both of us and ran to her room. As soon as her door clicked shut, I turned and faced him.
“My family is what’s keeping me here!” I screamed at him.
“You should be happy I’ve been listening to them!
” I stomped my foot. I was so angry and hurt from all the bullshit he’d put me through over the last several years.
“What happened to you?” I started crying.
“You are not the man I married. All you do is drink and blame everyone else for all your problems.”
“We wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for all of these classes you keep signing her up for!
” He started pointing at the house. I knew that dance would become something we’d fight about.
“It’s never enough with you. You always want more.
” He stormed closer. “How come I can’t have what I want?
Hmm? Are you getting it at the studio?” He sneered.
“Get out!” I screamed “And go to hell!” I stepped around him and stormed into the house, slamming the door behind me.
He stood there for a few moments before walking over to his truck, climbing in, and driving off. I have no idea where he was going, but I’m sure a trip to the local bar was on his agenda. All of his extra time was spent there, and most mornings he woke up reeking of booze.
As soon as his taillights disappeared in the distance, I rushed to Amy’s room. She was sitting on the edge of her bed in her PJs. “Get your things.” I placed a duffle bag on the edge of the bed.
“Where are we going?” She looked up with tears in her eyes.
“Back to Aunt Codie’s.” I left the room to pack some things for myself.
I needed to get away from here and clear my head.
I opened up the suitcase and began throwing clothes inside.
Within a few minutes, I went back to Amy’s room to grab her bag.
“Let’s go.” I grabbed her hand, and we walked back out to my car.
I didn’t lock the house, I didn’t even turn on a porch light.
I just left. I didn’t know what my plan was or if I’d even be able to follow through with it, but I knew things needed to change and change would start with me.