Chapter 24
Cameron
M iserable didn’t come close to the way Cameron felt right now.
Five years ago, when Sophia had walked out of his life, he hadn’t known what he’d be missing out on—not really. Now he was hyper aware of every little thing that he had lost.
She had to feel the same way.
He’d seen it in her eyes.
It had been a week since she’d told him he needed to get help. He didn’t like it. He knew exactly what she meant. She wanted him to go to therapy.
Well, she was wrong.
Had he overreacted? Sure.
Multiple times? Yeah, and he wasn’t proud of it.
But did that mean something was so inherently wrong with him that he needed to go to a shrink and talk about his feelings?
No!
Cameron’s emotions ranged from heartache to fuming mad over the last couple of days. He wasn’t going to see a therapist. What would they be able to say anyway? They’d probably tell him to confront his brother and tell Samuel exactly how he felt.
It wouldn’t change anything. Samuel was the one who needed to change.
The horses seemed more skittish today than usual, and he knew the exact reason. They could sense his turmoil. That was one thing about animals that was both a blessing and a curse. Today, it was the latter and was making his job harder. He was distracted and grumpy.
It was probably best that he hadn’t seen much of Sophia today. She’d been getting up earlier than him for the last day or two. And when he showed up to work, she made herself scarce. There was no chance of him talking to her when she managed to anticipate his every move.
He already had a plan. She needed space, but eventually he’d attempt to talk to her again. If he could get her alone, he’d be able to convince her that this whole situation was a big misunderstanding and she was overreacting.
Sophia had to understand that Cameron didn’t have a choice after he’d found his brother at the scene. She knew what it meant to him—how it hurt him.
The following day, Sophia wasn’t in the barn when he’d shown up to work. He didn’t know if he’d missed her or if she had slept in. His answer came when Sophia ambled into the barn a few hours after he had.
She stopped short at the door, hesitated, then continued toward the saddles. “I’m taking Tilly for a ride. Seeing as she’s not expecting, I didn’t think that would be a problem.”
He didn’t know what got into him as he followed her to the saddles. “Sophia, we should talk.”
“Have you started seeing a therapist?”
“No, but?—”
“Then we don’t have anything to discuss.” She tightened the ponytail in her hair, then hefted the saddle and marched over to Tilly’s stall.
“Yes, we do.”
“I said everything I needed to say to you, Cameron. Unless you’re ready to work on improving?—”
He grasped her upper arm, stopping her in the middle of saddling Tilly. She stopped and stared down at where he was touching her. She frowned.
“Please… Sophia. Talk to me.”
“Let. Go.” Her tone had him reeling. This was not the woman he’d fallen in love with. She was broken. There was pain in her voice. Desperation, perhaps? And anger.
Cameron fought the instinct to flinch at the tone. He didn’t release her. “I miss you,” he whispered.
That caught her off guard. She stared at him for a moment, her eyes flickering with so many emotions that he couldn’t keep any of them straight. He’d hoped that she’d say she missed him too. Or that she’d be willing to hear him out. Instead, she shook her head and pulled away from him.
She led Tilly from the barn, and he continued to follow her, but he was stopped in his tracks when Mateo and Roman blocked his path. Mateo looked disappointed and maybe a little irritated. Roman almost looked sad.
“Let her go, Cameron,” Roman said.
“You know I can’t do that.”
Mateo folded his arms. “I’ve kept out of this up until this point, but I can’t let you keep doing this. She told you what she wanted. You have to respect her wishes.”
Cameron could feel the desperation growing within him. Frustration, too. These guys didn’t know what they were talking about. They only had Sophia’s side of the story. How could they understand if they didn’t hear him out?
He frowned at one man, then the next. “I just need to talk to her. I think if I can explain?—”
“What is there to explain?” Mateo said quietly. “You attacked your brother.”
“He kissed her,” Cameron snapped. “He kissed her, and he was trying to?—”
The pity in Roman’s eyes only fueled Cameron’s fury. “That doesn’t give you an excuse to do what you did. He’s your flesh and blood. And from what I understand, he didn’t even know the two of you were together.”
“And that’s my fault?”
“No one said that it’s your fault. But you’re responsible for your own choices.” Why did Mateo have to be the voice of reason right now? What he was saying made a great deal of sense, and Cameron hated it.
Yes, he was responsible for his own choices. Yes, he needed to rein himself in. But his brother should have known better.
“You need to leave her alone, Cameron. I know it’s going to be hard, but you can’t just keep chasing after her.” Roman placed a hand on Cameron’s shoulder, and it took everything in his power not to shrug him off or push him away.
Cameron opened his mouth to argue, but Roman continued.
“You want to get her back, right?”
“You know I do,” Cameron shot back, his eyes drifting to where Sophia had disappeared. “I’ll do anything?—”
“Including seeing a therapist?”
Cameron’s mouth clamped shut. Anything but that.
What was a therapist supposed to help him do?
Cameron didn’t need to sit down on some uncomfortable chair and talk out his feelings.
He needed his brother to admit he was just trying to make his life miserable.
Once he confessed, no one would look at Cameron like he was the bad guy.
“I know you don’t like that idea, but Sophia is right.” Mateo’s words dragged Cameron back to the present conversation. “And honestly? I think it would be a good idea for you while you work here.”
“Seeing a therapist isn’t in my contract,” Cameron ground out. “I’m not required to do any such thing.” He was fully aware that he was pushing his luck with his boss. He just couldn’t dredge up the ability to care.
The look on Mateo’s face made it clear that Cameron was right, but Mateo wasn’t happy about it. He probably would require therapy if they were to extend the contract.
Cameron folded his arms, looking from one man to the other. “If that’s everything…”
Roman glanced at his brother, then back to Cameron. “Just leave her alone. She’s already said that she’s going to do the same. You guys need space.”
“I don’t need space,” Cameron argued. “All I need is her. I’m not going to hurt anyone else. I’m not going to lose my temper.”
“Of course not,” Mateo said bitterly. “Because if you do, then I’ll have to void our contract. I won’t allow anyone on my payroll who is a danger to themselves or others. I don’t care about your excuses.” He didn’t have to say his threat outright. Mateo’s message was loud and clear.
There would be no more flexibility when it came to Cameron’s jealous outbursts.
Clearly, Cameron had been lucky up to this point regarding what Mateo was willing to put up with. He got the feeling that if Mateo was completely informed of every altercation, that would change.
Cameron dragged a hand down his face. “It won’t happen again,” he attempted to reassure the man who he also considered a friend. “I just…” He sighed. “Please. Let me talk to her. One more time.”
Mateo shook his head, as did his brother. They weren’t going to budge an inch when it came to their sister, and Cameron couldn’t blame them. If the roles were reversed, he’d do the same. That didn’t mean it wasn’t frustrating as all get-out.
Cameron gritted his jaw tight. Mateo and Roman wouldn’t let him see Sophia if they were around when he got to her, but they couldn’t always play gatekeeper. Eventually, she’d have to talk to him. Eventually, she’d have to accept that they were endgame, no matter how much she wanted to fight it.
He marched back to his station and continued with his work. Knowing Sophia, she wouldn’t be coming around any time soon. By the time she got back, Cameron might not even be here. She’d managed to elude him again.
Busying himself with the horses, he took his time grooming them and checking them over for any injuries or problematic issues.
Mateo’s family took good care of the animals on their property.
They knew how important it was to maintain a certain standard of cleanliness and health for the breeding process.
It wasn’t the only reason he’d agreed to work with Mateo, but it was certainly a big one.
His thoughts drifted to Sophia more often than not, and he found himself grimacing at some of the nonsense he’d allowed himself to participate in.
While there were some instances he regretted, there were others that he simply couldn’t bring himself to feel guilt over.
Sophia was the love of his life, and he wanted everyone to know it.
Was it so bad that he was protective of her? Wasn’t that what women wanted? At least she didn’t have any doubt as to whether he was interested in her or not—unlike him. With how friendly Sophia was with other men, he found himself wondering if she was content with what they had together.
That thought soured his stomach. He’d told her he trusted her. But maybe that was part of the problem. He didn’t trust her as much as he should, and he could definitely work on that part of the problem.
Just as expected, he wrapped things up before Sophia returned from her ride.
He didn’t know what she did all day out with the horse, but he was glad to see her home safe.
He’d been tempted to jog out to the barn when she disappeared inside, but just as soon as he took a step in that direction, Roman materialized out of nowhere.
Cameron groaned. He’d thought the five years of not knowing who she was had been bad.
But having her, only to let her slip through his fingers, was exponentially worse.
He settled back on the steps to the wranglers’ cabin, his forearms resting atop his knees.
He simply needed a better plan to get to her.
Maybe he’d be able to catch her when she went out with her friends. She’d done that a lot before they’d started dating. Eventually, she’d do it again.