Chapter 36 #2
“I do know him. He’s my best friend for fuck’s sake.
And as pissed as I was that he fucked my baby sis—” I hold a finger up to protest, but he pulls it down, curling his hand around it.
“Just go with it, Mimi. Everything Mario just said is true. I saw it, too. Hell, now that I’ve seen the two of you together, I’m pretty sure he’s loved you for far longer than any of us realized.
Actually, I am sure of it. Look at how quickly he moved you in when you broke up with Pete.
How easily he agreed to your little fake dating scheme.
The guy dropped everything and proudly grinned from ear to ear when he drove you to prom because Pete was too busy having fun with his friends to remember to pick you up.
” He stops, raking his free hand through his dark hair, shaking his head sadly when he sees the tears streaming freely down my face.
“Fuck. I just wish I’d seen it sooner. Maybe I could’ve done something.
Convinced Swayze to tell you the truth about his feelings or at least stop the asshole who never deserved you from digging his claws in and hurting you in the first place.
I hate that I failed you, that I let that happen right under my nose.
And I really hate that I’ve married into his family so you felt like you had to put on a show to protect yourself from him. ”
“Nick, no. That’s not on you. Pete is all on me. I let it get that far. I should’ve faced up to the monster he was sooner. I should’ve protected myself.”
“Is that what you’re doing now, Mia? Protecting yourself?” Mario’s quiet voice penetrates the noise in my brain.
Nodding again, I close my eyes and hang my head.
“Do you think Swayze’s someone you need to protect yourself from?” Nick squeezes my hand questioningly.
No.
I shake my head.
Swayze’s always been my safe space. He’s the guy I’d run to when my brother wasn’t around. The man who picked up the pieces of my shattered life and made sure I had somewhere safe to rebuild it. The one who’s proud of my achievements and been my quiet cheerleader all along.
Hell. Didn’t I say my masked stranger made me feel safe? What if I was only brave enough to explore my crazy idea because he just so happened to be the one to find me on that deck on Halloween?
God, how was that only a few weeks ago?
“It’s too late. He’s gone.”
“No, it’s not too late. You live with him.
Go home and talk to him. Tell him the truth.
He’s a good guy. He might be hurt, but he knows you better than all of us.
You won’t surprise him with any of this.
He knows your baggage.” He pauses, squeezing my hand tight.
“Hell, he’d carry it if you’d let him. Go home and be brave, Mimi.
Be Mia Monroe. Go and reality-check your own life. ”
My eyes snap to Nick’s.
Did he just say Mia Monroe?
How could he know? No one in my family does.
“How did you—”
“Know your pen name?” His face breaks into a wide smile for the first time today.
“Mimi, we all know. Mom sends me the articles all the time. We just figured you’d tell us yourself when you were ready.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Mind? Why the fuck would I mind? I’m proud of you, you donut.” He defaults to a nickname he used to use when we were kids, making me smile.
“I thought it would embarrass you guys if you knew what I did for a job. Pete said—”
Nick’s grip on my hand tightens, his face turning thunderous. “Pete said what? He shamed you into thinking we’d judge you for your work?”
Nodding, I pull my hand from his, wrapping it in Swayze’s jacket again.
“He told me what I did was disgusting. That it was an embarrassment and would bring shame to the family if they knew. That it would affect your reputation at work to have a sister who writes about such degenerate things. He said I should quit and get a more normal, ladylike job. I planned on resigning the day I walked in on him fucking our cousin.”
“I’m gonna kill him,” Nick seethes.
“I’ll help.” Mario punches his fist into his hand.
“Don’t worry about it. I kneed him in the balls yesterday. Hopefully he got the hint.” My lips kick up in a tiny smile and they bark out a laugh.
“You did what?”
“He cornered me when I came to change my shoes at the wedding. Grabbed me and tried getting aggressive to scare me.”
Realization dawns on Mario’s face.
“Fuck, Swayze said you were taking too long and wanted to come find you, but I kept talking like an idiot. Oh my god, Mia. Did he hurt you? I heard him trash-talking you to my friend Cat last night and that’s why I punched him in the face. Goddamn, now I wish I’d done more.”
Her.
“Cat? The pretty one you came to the BBQ with, right?”
“Yeah! She’s the best. It’s a shame you didn’t get more of a chance to get to know her, I think you’d really like her. She’s a huge fan of your work and was really excited to meet you.”
I smile weakly.
“That’s nice. Although, she seemed more interested in Swayze than me.”
Goddammit. I didn’t mean to let that slip out.
Mario barks out a shocked laugh.
“Mia mou, are you jealous?” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Don’t love Swayze my ass. She’s a lesbian babe… if anyone should’ve been worried, it would’ve been him. She has a huge girl crush on Mia Monroe.”
Well, damn. I didn’t see that coming.
“So, now we’ve cleared some of that up, what do you say, Mimi? Can you be brave and put yourself out there, so you can get the happiness you deserve? Mom hasn’t stopped talking about the pretty wolf cubs you’re apparently gonna give her.”
Nick smiles wryly at me.
“Oh, and before I forget… here.”
He picks up a bag from the floor I hadn’t noticed him walk in with and shoves it in my arms.
I pull out the wonky bowl Swayze and I made in pottery class. It’s glazed in shiny orange and yellow hues and Swayze must’ve written our initials in a heart dead center when I snuck off to get more wine because they're right here. S & M. Clear as day, his sharp handwriting easily recognizable.
I trace the S with my finger, fresh tears falling down my face.
Looking up at them both, I suck in a breath and decide to be brave. “What if I can’t fix it? What if I’ve hurt him so badly he can’t love me back? What if I’ve broken him, like I broke us?”
Both of them reach out, each taking one of my hands.
“You won’t know until you try. But a wise Doctor once said there’s no way of knowing without actually talking to them about how you feel.”
Wait—isn’t that what I said to Hopelessly Devoted weeks ago?
“Nick, did you just quote Dr. Reality Check to me?” He smiles smugly and Mario chuckles before chiming in.
“Wasn’t that the same one who said Sometimes the perfect person for you is right under your nose and you don’t even know it?”
My jaw drops. “You read them too?!”
“Mia baby, your mom set up a family WhatsApp. She screenshots them to all of us every week. Look!” He unlocks and tosses his phone at me.
“She called it MimiLeaks?” I laugh through tears.
“Well, no, that was me. She chose Mia’s Masterpieces, but that’s no fun.” Nick shrugs.
I scroll the chat and there it is. She’d added screenshots of every article, every Dr. Reality Check response.
Oh my god. Dad laugh-emoji’s them.
“You guys really don’t mind?”
The belief I’ve held onto for so long, that they’d be embarrassed or judge me, is crumbling around me like rocks in an avalanche.
“God no. Besides, where do you think you get it from? Wasn’t Mom arguing the benefits of orgasms to the TSA agent?” Nick laughs as they both stand up.
“Now, how about you shower, sort your face out, we grab some breakfast, and I’ll switch your flight so you can fly back earlier if you want?”
My heart rate thunders, the blood rushing like a tidal wave in my ears but when I stare at their matching grins, I nod slowly.
They’re right. It’s my turn to be brave and try to fix what I broke. Sucking in a deep breath, I flash them a watery smile.
“Okay. Do it. Let’s go hunt me a Wolff.”