23. Linc
“How long do you think it takes to fall in love with someone?”
Shane goes still as he bends to pick up another gallon of soft gray paint, his entire body freezing mid-reach. I scrub a hand over the back of my head and clear my throat.
“It’s a rhetorical question,” I add. Mostly.
He scoffs, straightening. “Right. Rhetorical.”
“It is. I’m just…wondering.”
“You’ve never been in love before.”
It’s a statement; he knows I haven’t. He’s known me nearly my whole life, seen every relationship I’ve ever attempted. So I don’t answer, just splash more paint into the pan at my feet.
When I look up again, Shane’s gazing across the hall. Lex is in the next room over, painting. It was Shane’s idea to ask for her help on the project we’d been putting off since moving in. He said doing the mundane task of repainting the upstairs bedrooms together could help clear her mind and release some tension.
I don’t know if it was us, the looming Summit, or something unknown, but Lex has been in her head for days. She made time for a forty-five minute meeting with the three of us earlier in the week, but even during our daily runs and the one night she cleared for me and Shane, she was distracted. Distant. I fucking hate it.
I’d been skeptical she’d go for Shane’s painting idea, but then I watched the tension seep from her body as she stood in the middle of the room we’d cleared, hands on her hips. After a deep breath and a nod, she dove right in, torturing us both as she bent in her tight yoga pants to fill her roller with paint. Two hours later, she was laughing again, limbs loose and eyes sparkling as she skimmed the roller over the wall. I’ve yet to fully process why I felt so overwhelmingly relieved at the sight.
Shane looks back at me, pensive. “I don’t think there’s a formula, Linc.”
We’d left Lex in the other room for a moment to refill the paint trays. I can hear her music drifting down the hall, the hum of her murmured singing a soothing backdrop. I drag my attention back to Shane.
“So you believe in love at first sight?”
I don’t. Lust at first sight was one thing, but truly falling for someone? That shit doesn’t happen in an instant.
“Yeah.” Shane shrugs. “I guess I do.”
My eyebrows climb toward my hairline. “You’re shitting me.”
He chuckles. “I’m not. What, you think I’m too logical for that?”
“I mean, yeah? Kinda.” I blink. “You’re the stoic one. Grounded, steady. Love at first sight seems like the opposite of that.”
“Isn’t love grounding?”
My brow creases. “Is it? I’ve never thought of it like that.”
“How have you thought of it?”
“Like…a tempest. A storm. Consuming, but not necessarily bad. Like that moment when you stand outside and everything’s getting dark and even the air is charged and the world feels like it’s holding its breath. Waiting for something…atmospheric and dangerous and life-changing.”
Shane studies me, then hums an intrigued sound. “I think love can be many things to each of us. You have your storm, I have…safety and a sense of belonging. To me, love is trust and comfort. Warmth.”
I can see that, especially for him. “But…how do you feel safe with someone the first time you see them?”
He smirks. “What did you feel that day on the playground when we met?”
“Nah, man. Not that kind of love.” I roll my eyes.
“Love is love, Linc. I might not fuck you or Dec, but I love you. Always have, always will. Didn’t take me years or even days to figure it out, either. Just one glimpse of Dec’s determination and your defiance.”
I force myself to swallow down the emotion rising in my throat. He seemed like a superhero to me back then, tall and imposing with his steely glare, even as a kid. I trusted him the moment Declan brought him over, and when he stood up for me? No one had ever been so cool. There’d been no question in my mind–back then and even now–Shane was as much a brother to me as Declan.
“Fuck, man,” I rasp.
Shane grins. “What? I’ve said it before.”
“Not sure you have,” I challenge, looking up at the ceiling as I blink rapidly, eyes hot. Heart-to-hearts aren’t really our thing. Fuck. Maybe they should be.
“Hey, did you two lose the paint or something? It’s been ages–” Lex sweeps into the room and freezes, looking at me, then Shane. “Um…you okay?”
I want to kick Shane in the ‘nads when he laughs.
“Linc’s in his feels.”
“You said you loved me, asshole,” I shoot back, rubbing a hand over my eyes.
Lex’s green eyes soften as she smiles. “Of course he does.”
I glance at her, raising a brow. She sighs and looks up at the ceiling, as though begging for patience. Stepping into my space, she slips her arms around me.
“Don’t be afraid of your emotions, Linc. Don’t run from telling the people you love you care about them.” Her arms tighten briefly around me as her gaze unfocuses momentarily. “You, Shane, and Declan share something beautiful. And deep. You’re family, but it’s almost more than that.”
Shane smiles at me, stepping up behind Lex. He’s not quite close enough to touch her, but she loosens her arms just enough to lean back against him. Her eyes don’t leave mine, and she tugs on my waist to bring me closer.
“I’ve never seen loyalty like yours,” she murmurs, eyes locked on mine. “The way you support one another…it’s something else. You should celebrate it.”
“We do, in our way,” Shane offers. He trails his fingers along her arm and smirks up at me. “Dec and Linc have never been free with their deeper emotions.”
Before I can tell him off, Lex laughs. Shane’s eyes glint as he grins, bending over to rest his chin on her shoulder.
“Gee, that’s a shocker,” Lex drawls, smile dropping slightly.
“Hey,” I protest, gripping her hips gently. “I’m in touch with my emotions.” Sometimes.
“Oh, yeah, totally,” Shane agrees too readily.
“Sure you are, sweetheart,” Lex smirks, voice syrupy sweet.
“Fuck off, both of you,” I groan.
“No.” She pulls me closer, a mischievous grin lighting her features. “Don’t wanna.”
Tightening my arms around her, I catch Shane’s eye as he straightens to give me more room. I see nothing but warmth and affection reflected back at me as I snuggle Lex, our bodies pressed together. She fits perfectly in my arms, under my chin. Perfectly in our lives. My body goes still at the thought, a vision of a future with her playing in my mind. Lex and Shane laughing in the kitchen. The three of us on the couch, her feet in Shane’s lap and back against my chest. Maybe Dec wouldn’t complain about us sitting on top of him on the couch if Lex was there, too.
My eyes widen and my breath stutters at the force with which I want those visions to be real. Shane’s lips tip up into a small, knowing smile. He nods slowly, as though he can read the thoughts tumbling through my brain.
Lex leans back and looks up at me, her eyes bright. I struggle to breathe normally as I look down at her, wrenching my gaze from the safety of Shane’s.
“If I’d known you were going to abandon me to do all the painting when you invited me to join this little home reno, I would’ve been harder to convince,” she teases, oblivious to my epiphany.
Shane scoffs, saving me from having to answer. Lex turns to look up at him over her shoulder, arms still looped around my waist.
“Something amusing you, Mr. Kelly?”
“We’ve been gone for five minutes, tops.”
“Eight,” she counters, looking back at me with a smirk. “Definitely more than five.”
Pushing past the overwhelmed feeling swirling in my chest, I conjure a playful smile. “You miss us already, beautiful?”
Something flickers in her eyes, maybe surprise or confusion, before she scrunches her nose and backs away, mischief in the curve of her lips.
“Nah, just needed more paint.”
She snags the open gallon from the floor near my feet, turning on her barefoot heel and sauntering away. Shane chuckles as she disappears down the hall, looking over at me with a wry grin.
“You going to tell her?”
I clear my throat, looking down as I pick up the full paint tray. “Tell her what?”
Shane is quiet as he gathers another gallon of paint and some extra rollers. I can feel him looking at me, twin holes boring through my skull as I make for the door.
“Your brother may make a habit of bottling everything up, Linc, but you never have. Would be a shame for you to start now.”
My steps slow and I pause in the hall, watching him draw level with, then pass, me. His ice blue eyes meet mine, his chin jutted out slightly in challenge.
“What about you?” I throw at him, deflecting shamelessly.
I need to take the attention, the pressure, off me. My thoughts are tumultuous, ideas for the future tangling with the practicalities of the present.
“We’re on our own journeys, brother. Might be with the same girl, and may end up at the same destination, but our pace won’t always match.”
“Sounds like a cop out,” I mutter.
He studies me for a moment, rare vulnerability shining through. “Love’s not always enough, Linc.”
I watch him disappear back into the guest bedroom, listening to the low murmur of Lex’s voice as she greets him. Their tones are playful, and warmth pushes away some of the chill Shane’s words sent through me. I’m naive enough to think loving someone is all it takes for a relationship to work, but I want to know exactly what’s on Shane’s mind.
It’s gotta be Dec.Things were tense between the three of us and incendiary between Dec and Lex. The forty-five minutes we spent together on Solum earlier in the week had been heated, neither of them bending an inch for the other. That’s not what Lex is torn up over, is it?
As though thinking of him summons the man himself, my brother appears at the top of the stairs.
“Linc!” Lex calls, laughing. “Come on, slowpoke–oh!”
Her playful words cut off as she swings out of the room, one hand bracing on the doorframe, and almost runs headlong into Dec. She jerks to a halt just in time and gapes up at him, eyes wide, their bodies barely inches apart.
Dec’s nostrils flare as he stares at her, his fingers curling into a fist as heat flashes in his gaze. I catch Shane’s eye as he comes into view through the doorway, his expression guarded.
“Hi, Declan.” Lex’s voice is strangled as she sways toward him, then catches herself. “We’re painting.”
His eyes trace her face, landing on a spot of gray on her cheek. Without a word, he licks his thumb and swipes it across her skin. Lex gasps at the contact, her body stilling and her eyes locked on Dec’s. Her lips part, breath turning ragged as he smears the paint. His eyes flick to hers, pupils dilating as they dip to her mouth.
Holy sexual tension, batman.What the fuck did I miss? I shift, jeans feeling tight, and catch Shane’s smirk out of the corner of my eye. Before I can taunt back, noticing he’s just as affected, Dec huffs and backs away.
“I can see that,” he bites out.
The spell between them breaks, much to my dismay. Lex blinks, shaking her head as though to clear it.
“Right,” she sighs, shoulders sagging. I frown as I look between them. “Well, it’s good to see you.”
Wordlessly, he watches her turn and slip past Shane, expression flat.
“I take it you lost my invite,” he grouses, tension bulking his shoulders.
“C’mon man. We thought it would be a good distraction, and you’ve been an ass to her lately. Didn’t seem like an offer you’d be interested in.”
“Right.” He tsks, glancing at the open door before stepping closer and pitching his voice low. “Is she ever not around, Linc?”
Scoffing, I lean away from his aggressive tone. “Fuck you, man. She’s rarely here outside of work shit and you know it.”
The look in his eyes is feral. My brother is a stern guy on a good day, but something about Lex brought out something…wild in him. I can’t tell if it’s anger, fear, or lust. After what I just witnessed, it might be a fucked up combination of all three.
“I just think you need to be careful–”
I hold my free hand up. “Stop. I’m not going down this road with you, Dec.”
I’m so done with his protests about Lex. It’s been nearly three months of working together, and his resistance feels more performative than genuine. He’s desperate to maintain some semblance of control, and for some reason, he still sees her as a threat.
Declan frowns, his eyes searching mine. He isn’t used to me giving him resistance.
“Linc, I just don’t want you getting hurt. I–”
“I’m not,” I interrupt, backing toward the open door. “Keep pushing her away, Dec, and you might just hurt us yourself.”
That wildness runs rampant through him as he watches me go, the vein down his forehead popping. I hold his gaze until I reach the door, challenging him wordlessly to be the bigger man. The better man. The man I know he can be if he puts aside his misplaced guilt and stops trying to control everything and everyone.
My hope is in vain. I know it as soon as he starts to turn away, but the knowledge doesn’t stop my gut from churning as he thunders down the stairs without a backward glance.
Sighing, I shake out my shoulders and muster a smile for Lex. Shane’s words echo in my head. He might not think love’s enough, but I’m pretty sure I do.