Chapter 10 #3
“You’re so preoccupied with finding a new job that I can’t help wondering if…” ‘You should be grateful to the people who stick with you.’ “If it’s because you’re fed up with me and can’t wait to… to emancipate yourself and bolt.”
Eris frowned. A deep, angry frown.
“I know I can be vexing.” Denny worried at the already enlarged cuff of her cardigan. “I’m so chaotic and clingy and talk so much, and you’re fond of silence and space and order… If I’m too annoying, I can try harder! Give you a wider berth, leave you alone when—”
Eris pried the flashcard out of Denny’s trembling hands and pushed her backwards to the bench behind her. She sat her down, then typed furiously on her phone.
Eris
WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
Who said that
I’m gonna cut them
“No one.” Everyone. “I just—”
Eris
Do you think I wouldn’t tell you if I found you VEXING?
She would. Denny knew she would. Eris’ disarming honesty was comforting, but it wasn’t enough to stop Denny’s overthinking.
“I know I’m a handful.”
A stomp on the ground made her jump. Eris sucked in a sharp breath through her nose, jaw tight as she punched even more rabidly into her phone.
Eris
You ARE
But that’s not a you problem, Sunshine
It’s on whoever can’t handle you
And that’s someone you don’t want in your life
Be as big a handful as you like, I can take it
Icy eyes cut through Denny, sending a shiver down her spine. Her chest felt too tight to contain the enormity of what was blooming within it. It was hard to identify—relief, joy, hope, marvel… She just knew it was bigger than her—bigger than anything she’d ever felt.
The boulder on her sternum pulverised. A new, kind voice whispered in her ear: ‘You’re heavy only to someone too weak to carry you.’
A sniffle escaped her. She kept forgetting to put a new packet of tissues in the bag.
She sniffled again.
A tissue was thrusted into her hands. When she blew her nose, her lungs filled with Eris’ ambery scent. Crazy how they lived together, washed their clothes together, used the same body wash, and yet Eris’ stuff still had that distinct Eris smell.
Eris sent another text, then sat down and combed Denny’s hair behind her shoulder, over and over, spreading tingles everywhere, until the tension melted away.
Denny let out a choked laugh.
Eris
We really need that ‘you’re an idiot’ card
“I know, I’m sor—” Eris cut her off with a killer glare. She slid an arm around Denny and tugged her closer, inviting her to lean her head on her shoulder. Denny closed her eyes as Eris stroked her hair.
‘It doesn’t even cross your mind that you’re the one she fancies?’
She didn’t even care whether that was true or not. Having Eris in her life was enough. Not losing her was enough. Nothing else mattered.
She swallowed. “Every morning, the first thing I do is check that your knife is still in the box. And I’m— I’m almost tempted to hide it somewhere you can’t find it, because I know you wouldn’t leave without it.”
Beneath her, Eris shook with silent laughter. She held her phone low so that Denny could see her type.
Eris
I respect the dedication
It could be a joke or a deadly serious statement, Denny could never tell for sure with her. Either way, it was a positive reaction. Eris didn’t think she was a selfish monster.
“There’s that anxious chunk of my brain that can’t stop thinking that you secretly can’t stand me.” Denny’s voice cracked. Something hot rolled down her cheeks. “I’d hate to lose you because I’m a nuisance.”
Eris curled two fingers under her chin. She tipped Denny’s head back, eyes shining bright grey under the colourless sky.
“I swear I’m doing my best to hold myself back,” Denny hiccuped pathetically as Eris leaned in closer, wiping her tears with her thumb. “The last thing I want is to drive you away…”
“Denny.”
“But I forget—you know I always forget about everything—”
“Denny.”
“I try not to be like this, but I can never—”
“DENNY.”
Denny’s galloping panic screeched to a halt. It took a second to register. She thought she’d just imagined it—she must have imagined it… The soft smile spreading shyly across Eris’ lips, however, told her she hadn’t.
She melted into a smile of her own. Every cell in her body was buzzing with a euphoria that made her skin feel too tight to contain it. She reached for Eris, desperate to feel her grounding warmth but not wanting to touch her without permission.
Seeing right through her, Eris took her hand and pressed it to her cheek.
“Hey,” Denny murmured through the blissful constriction in her lungs.
Eris leaned into her caress with a quiet longing in her eyes that was as tender as it was painful.
“Hey.”
Her voice was nothing like Denny had imagined it: it was sweet, slightly husky, as young as Eris looked without her dark makeup.
Denny was so giddy she didn’t even know how their faces had gotten so close. There was a new kind of gravity drawing them to one another and neither of them was fighting it.
Their lips brushed. Eris’ smile crooked to one side as her look grew impossibly soft. She pulled Denny flush against herself, nudging their noses together.
“Forgive me for doubting you, Denny,” she whispered, then took Denny’s breath away with the most overdue kiss in human history.