20. Shane
Shane
Ifucked up. I knew it seconds after I pulled the needle from my arm.
Marcus was short this time and said if I shot it instead of snorting it, it’d feel like the same amount. I haven’t done that since the night Ash was drugged at the club. I’ve sworn I’d never do it again, but here we are.
But then the wa wah’s kicked in, the rhythmic wave pulsing in my veins and ears, and I knew this was going to be bad. It just didn’t feel right.
Fuck.
I should have done it before I left Marcus’s instead of hiding in our bathroom. Nik’s in the bedroom doing her makeup because we’re supposed to go to fight night. She’s going to kick my fucking ass.
My heart races, and I feel like I might have a fucking heart attack. I can’t feel my body but not in a good way. I usually like the out of body feeling when I’m high, but this is different. I feel cold and hot all at the same time.
My legs give out, and the cool tile bites my cheek.
I’m going to die in this bathroom, and she’s going to find me.
“Shane!”
Something touches my forehead.
“Shane,” she says, softer this time.
I blink, trying to open my eyes.
Everything starts to come into focus.
Nik kneels in front of me, her blonde-and-blue hair half curled. “Hey.”
“Fuck,” I groan, trying to push up from the floor. My head is pounding. Everything’s too loud and too bright.
She helps me sit up and touches my face. “Are you okay?”
I nod, licking my lips, and nausea rolls through me before I wretch and vomit all over the floor.
She tries to wipe my mouth with the wet rag, but I swipe it from her. God, I really am a piece of shit. My fucking girlfriend’s wiping puke from my face.
She drops to her butt in front of me, her eyes wide and her breathing ragged. “You’re really scaring me. What the hell just happened?”
“I’m fine,” I croak out, rubbing my eyes with my palms. My throat feels like I swallowed gravel.
Fuck.
I have no idea how long I was out.
“You’re clearly not fine! What the—” Her eyes land on the evidence still scattered across the sink.
Her face pales and her mouth pops open as she stares at it unblinking.
“What did you do?” she asks, her voice cracking. When I don’t respond, she finally looks at me and shouts, “Shane, what the fuck did you do?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and tuck my chin to my chest. I don’t know what the fuck to say. “I’m sorry.”
She scoffs, rearing back. “You’re sorry?”
Everything hurts, and I should probably be groveling or begging her to forgive me, but I can’t think straight. “Can we not do this right now?”
“When would you like to do it then? When you’ve ruined both our fucking lives?”
“What do you want me to say? I fucked up!” It comes out much harsher than I mean for it to.
Her hands tremble and her breathing picks up. “I’ve been nothing but supportive of you! I’m the only one on your fucking side! If you want to poison yourself, go for it, but I have sex with you!”
I let out a breath and rest my head on the wall behind me. “It was a brand-new needle.”
“Oh, okay?” She huffs. Sarcasm coats her voice when she says, “Well, that makes this all fine.”
She turns her back to me and shakes her head. I swear she sniffles, sending a blade through my chest. I don’t want to be the one that makes her cry, but I told her I’d fuck up. It’s what I do. I don’t know what she expects.
“You’re so goddamn selfish! You don’t even realize how your actions hurt everyone else! Or maybe you do and you just don’t care!”
“It was a one-time thing, Nik. You’re making it a way bigger deal than it needs to be.”
Without turning around, she says, “I don’t believe you.”
“Nikki—”
She whips in my direction and points. “This is my line. Lying to me about shooting up is my line. If you don’t care about my fucking well-being enough to tell me what I’m risking by sleeping with you, then I’m out.”
She doesn’t wait to hear my response before storming out of the bathroom and slamming the door behind her.
After getting off the floor, I wash my face and brush my teeth before coming out. She’s sitting on the floor finishing her makeup.
“Nikki—”
“Please don’t do that. I’m pissed.” She doesn’t look at me. “I’m so fucking pissed at you right now. Just leave me alone for a minute. Go get ready.”
I nod and kneel beside her. “You can be mad at me as long as you need, but I am sorry. I don’t deserve you.”
“No. You don’t.” She continues to stare straight ahead at the mirror. “But I’m not going anywhere. I’m pissed, but I’ll get past it eventually. Just give me some time.”
If anything, I think that makes me feel worse.
Because I know she shouldn’t get over it.
By the time we head out of the apartment, definitely too late to catch the fights, she’s back to her usual self.
Days pass, and she doesn’t bring it up again. I really am a fucking asshole because as bad as I feel about it, I’m kind of content to pretend it didn’t happen.
I’ve just finished up at the shop when Gabe asks, “You guys coming out tonight?”
“Where?” I ask, closing my toolbox.
“I’m sneaking Ash into the bar. A couple of the guys from high school are playing there tonight.”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
Pop!
“What the fuck was that?” Gabe asks, turning to look around.
“No clue.”
JT comes out of the back, his brows drawn. “Was that a gunshot?”
Pop!
We all race toward the front of the shop, not making it to the door before Tony files in with his guys.
“Hello, boys. I’m so glad you could see us,” he says, stepping through the group of his guys with a stupid grin on his face.
“What the fuck do you want?” Gabe growls.
“Well, we seem to still be having a problem. I’ve tried speaking to your father about it, but he appears to be incompetent, so I’m handling it my fucking self,” he grinds out through clenched teeth.
“Sorry to disappoint, but he’s already gone for the day.”
Tony grins, his eyes narrowing to slits. “I know. I’m not here to talk. I’m here to send a message.”
He doesn’t even hesitate before raising his gun and putting a bullet in Akers’s chest. His eyes go wide and his legs crumple under him as he folds to the ground.
I lunge for him, but Tony points the gun at me next. Stopping in my tracks, I throw my hands up and take a step back.
“On your knees!” he shouts.
When none of us move right away, he sends another bullet into the roof, and we all scramble to the ground.
I’ve been in a few sketchy situations with this club, but this is the most outnumbered we’ve ever been.
My heart jumps to my throat as I catch a glimpse of the blood pooling under my friend.
He’d stayed over to work on his bike and had just pulled it into the garage.
Now he lies next to it, crimson slowly creeping toward the tires.
Forcing myself not to look, I try to slow my breathing.
“We’re going to do things my way from now on,” Tony says, pacing in front of us and spitting on the floor. “Your president is weak. He can’t keep you punks in line, but I can.”
“You’ve just signed your own death warrant,” Gabe bites.
Tony laughs. “It’s funny, you all hold the all-mighty Jon Abbott on a pedestal, but you have no idea the shit he’s done.”
Gabe glares.
“What? He never told you? We used to work quite well together. He didn’t have a problem with my dealings, until that bitch mom of yours gave him a fucking conscience.”
Gabe starts to stand and Tony fires off another shot, narrowly missing him and hitting the tire of the vehicle right behind him.
“Move again, and you’ll be on the floor like your friend.
“Look what I found.” One of Tony’s guys comes around the corner—holding my sister.
And he has a gun to her head.
My hands clench, and I can’t seem to suck in a breath.
My sister.
My baby sister.
Her chin quivers. It’s like being at my dad’s all over again, but this time, I can’t get to her.
“If you don’t get your fucking hands off her, I will kill every fucking one of you,” Gabe says, practically vibrating beside me.
Tony steps closer. “Now, I don’t think you’re in any position to be making threats, boy.”
“No?” Gabe glares at him. “I’m telling you right now, Tony, if you want any chance at an agreement with us, you will let her go.” When Tony doesn’t give the order, he shouts, “Now!”
“I don’t know…” Tony paces in front of us. “Your piece-of-shit dad can’t even control his own guys. Why would I want to do business with Rider scum? I think I’d rather rid myself of the problem altogether.”
He looks to Ash then back to us and grins. Bile rises in my throat with every step he takes toward her.
“Or...”
The seconds tick by, and I don’t know how I’ll stay upright if he hurts her.
“I could take the pretty one with me. She seems like an efficient leash for a couple of you.” He spins to face us again. “Who would you choose, Gabe? President daddy or the pretty one?”
I can’t take my eyes off my sister.
Tears stream down her face.
I’ve failed her again.
The words don’t even feel like my own as I manage to say, “If you take her, it’ll be a war.”
“It would seem it already is, gentlemen.” He moves closer to her. “You are quite pretty, sweetheart. No wonder these boys are in such a tizzy over you.”
When he touches her face, Gabe and JT shout, but I can’t do anything. He’s going to hurt my sister. My fucking sister.
My brain is frozen. I feel like I’ve stepped out of my body for a moment until I hear him say, “Put her in the truck.”
She screams, and I turn to flames, tearing off the floor toward the fucker. “Get the fuck off my sister!”
I barrel into him, taking us all to the ground.
Pop!
I cock my fist and hit him over and over and over. Blood coats my hand, but I can’t stop. The only sound is the blood raging in my ears as I pummel him before picking up his gun.
I’m going to fucking kill Tony. I spin, wiping blood from my face and scanning the shop. Sirens wail as blue and red lights flash in the windows. Tony’s guys scurry out, and I take off. I have to find him before he leaves.
He put his hands on Ash, and I’m going to put a bullet in his head.
My feet pound the concrete as I race after them, but I’m too late. Before I can reach the door, Tony’s jumping into a van in the parking lot and peeling out.
When I turn back to the shop, Gabe’s standing in the middle of the room, spine stiff. He shuffles forward slow at first, then rushed before dropping to the floor. That’s when I see her. Ash’s eyes are closed and blood pools under her lifeless body.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t move.
I can’t think.
I just fucking stand there, staring at her.
No.
She can’t—
I stumble over to her on shaky legs and fall to my knees.
“Ash,” I say, panicked.
“Ash!” I shout, noticing the gunshot wound in her leg.
Trying to stop the bleeding, I cover it with my palm. JT’s saying something, but I can’t fucking hear him. I don’t give a shit. My hands are slick with her blood. My sister’s fucking blood that’s being spilt all over the floor. It soaks the knees of my jeans.
“Ashton,” I cry, laying my head down on her abdomen.
I don’t notice the police entering the building until I’m being ripped backward away from her.
“No! Let me go. That’s my sister!” I flail as my arms are pulled behind my back.
Rearing back, I headbutt the motherfucker and throw myself to the ground, placing my hands back on her leg.
They’re going to let her die. If I don’t keep my hand there, she is going to fucking die.
When I’m yanked away again and placed in cuffs, I go berserk, thrashing and screaming, “My sister’s fucking dying! Help my fucking sister, you motherfuckers.”
Kicking my legs as they hold me up, I try to get out of the cop’s grip again before a sharp pain hits my neck and races down my limbs. I go limp.
“My sister,” I mutter, not taking my eyes off her as the cop hoists me up.
I watch the blood spread across the floor like it was with Akers as he drags me outside and shoves me into the car.
A medic races into the shop. Closing my eyes, I pray to whatever fucking force is out there to please save her. I don’t think I can live in a world without Ash. I don’t think I’d want to.
When I hear someone sniff, I turn. I hadn’t noticed Gabe in the seat next to me. Tears streak his face, but he doesn’t say anything. He just looks at me with a sad expression and blinks slowly. I turn back to stare at the seat straight in front of me.
I’m going to fucking kill him too.