Emery #3
He slid his hand down my arm and entwined his fingers with mine. Then he motioned with his head for me to follow him into his room. I kept pace with him until we were standing next to his bed.
He turned to face me.
There were questions in his gaze: Was this okay? Did he go too far? I knew the second I told him I was done, he would pull back, lead me to my room, and bid me goodnight.
But I’d worked up all my courage to get to this point. There was no going back.
I stepped closer to him, tipping my head up and meeting his gaze.
He watched me, his gaze growing darker with every movement I made.
Without thinking, I reached down and grabbed his left hand in my right and brought it up.
My heart was pounding, but instinct took over and, even though it had been years since I’d touched a man like this, my body knew what to do.
I pressed my lips into his palm before I glanced back up at him.
He shifted his gaze from watching what I was doing to locking it with mine. His hand hovered close to my cheek. I held his gaze, and as soon as his hand touched my skin, electricity shot through my body. For the first time since Carson’s death, I was alive.
For the first time since I’d lost Carson, I wanted to feel everything.
I tipped my head back, the movement involuntarily parting my lips. Noah’s gaze flicked down to my mouth as he gently rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip. Heat pooled in my stomach as my hands found his chest. I could feel his pounding heart. It matched the cadence of my own.
His free hand found my waist, and the warmth of his palm flowed through the thin material of my satin pajamas. He slid his hand to my lower back before pulling me closer to him. I reacted by rising up onto my tiptoes, bringing my lips closer to his.
He hesitated, meeting my gaze once more as if to ask me, Is this okay? My gaze was hazy with desire and anticipation. I fisted his t-shirt, pulling him closer to me. I was tired of questions. I was tired of thinking. I was tired of living in fear.
That seemed to be the permission Noah had been waiting for.
His lips captured mine in an instant. At first, our lips remained still, as if we were both waiting for the other to pull back, to declare this plan a mistake and walk away.
But I wasn’t going anywhere. I’d jumped, and I may be drowning, but I was already in the water. There was no getting out now.
I let go of his shirt and slid my hands up to the back of his neck. I lowered my heels to the ground but used my new hold on him to keep our lips together. He dipped slightly, tightly wrapping his arm around my waist before he pulled me to his chest and yanked me up so I was now above him.
My hair cascaded around my face as I pulled back to look down at him. His heated gaze was on me, piercing my soul. For a moment, I hesitated. This kiss was going to go further than I’d prepared myself for, and I wasn’t sure I was ready.
Abigail’s command entered my mind, “Stop thinking,” so I threw away all of my fear. All that existed in this room was Noah and I.
I cradled his face in my hands as I leaned in, crashing my lips into his. Everything that had scared me about this moment was gone, and all I cared about was me and him.
I parted my lips and let Noah in. His tongue danced around mine as we felt and explored. I whimpered against his lips, and that seemed to ignite something primal in him. Suddenly, both of his hands were gripping my rear, and I responded by wrapping my legs around him.
He turned and backed up until he was sitting on the bed. I rested on my knees on either side of him, straddling his legs. His hands found my thighs, and he dug his fingertips into my skin like he was scared I’d float away.
Our lips had found a dance now. It was like I was made to touch him. Kiss him. Feel him. My hands explored his chest, his shoulders, his hair. His hands explored my thighs, my hips, my lower back.
For the first time in a long time, I felt free. Free to put me first. Free to follow my desires. Free to enjoy. And that was what I was doing—enjoying Noah.
Fearing that I was taking this too far, I broke our kiss and pulled back. My hair was draped around my face, and I tucked it behind my ear so I could study him. His gaze found mine as he looked up at me.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his hands dropping from my thighs to rest on the mattress.
A chill rushed across my skin at the absence of his warm hands.
“Are you okay?” I asked as I tipped my head to the side so my hair fell away from my face and over my shoulder.
He frowned as he studied me. “Yes,” he said. His gruff, possessive tone sent shivers across my skin. His hands found my hips as he pulled me closer to him. “Now, are you okay?”
I slipped my bottom lip between my teeth as I studied him. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was fearful of the feelings now coursing through me with every beat of my heart. I wasn’t sure what they meant. And I wasn’t sure I was ready to try to dissect them.
All I knew was the answer to his question. And that was all I was going to worry about.
“I’m okay,” I whispered before my lips found his once more.