Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
A brOKEN RECORD LOOPED THROUGH Caitlin’s head, every song circling back to Gemma’s scathing accusation.
No, it hadn’t been a mistake.
Caitlin knew what she had felt. No matter what had happened between them ten years ago, being intimate with Gemma again had made her feel complete. Like she had finally come home.
It hadn’t been a mistake.
She didn’t care what Gemma said. Caitlin had only kissed her, she hadn’t pushed. Gemma had been the one to want more, the one who had shoved Caitlin onto the sofa and taken what she wanted. She had seen the look in Gemma’s eyes.
It hadn’t been a mistake.
Starting Monday, Caitlin began to bring Gemma fresh coffee every morning from Bean Up, the café a block down from her hotel. An oat milk latte with two pumps of vanilla.
Every time, Gemma seemed shocked that Caitlin still remembered the exact way she liked her coffee. As if Caitlin had ever been able to forget a single detail about Gemma. She didn’t tell her that she still made her own coffee the same way at home.
Throughout the week, Caitlin would sneak into Gemma’s trailer when she wasn’t around, tucking a Post-it Note or two into places Gemma would discover later. They held tidbits of old inside jokes, earning Caitlin the occasional ambivalent lunch invite.
Caitlin was determined to show Gemma that she wouldn’t give up. She wasn’t going to walk away from her again.
With a late-morning call time that day, Caitlin invited Gemma to join her at Bean Up instead of taking their coffees to go.
To her surprise, Gemma agreed. The even greater shock came when Gemma sat down at the small bistro table and casually mentioned that she had skipped her morning coffee with Hayley in order to join Caitlin instead.
As genuinely glad as she was that Gemma still had Hayley after all this time, Caitlin couldn’t deny herself the small, private victory at being chosen.
CAITLIN STOOD IN LINE AT Bean Up by herself on Sunday morning, feeling proud of the progress she had made with Gemma over the past week. She was lost in her thoughts, trying to come up with more ways she could prove herself to her ex, when a voice startled her from behind.
“Just the woman I was looking for.”
“Hayley,” Caitlin said, recognizing the voice before she even turned around. “How’d you find me?”
“Gemma’s my best friend—she tells me everything. And I heard you’ve been coming here every morning.”
Hayley spoke as if it were obvious, as if Caitlin should have already been expecting her.
“I also happen to know that you’re not filming today, and if you’re still the same person that you were in college—” At this, Hayley paused to critically look Caitlin up and down.
“I assumed you would sleep in, meaning you would be getting your coffee right around… now.” Hayley finished, right as the barista called Caitlin up to the counter.
Screw real estate, this woman should be in the FBI.
“Well, congrats, here I am.” Caitlin stepped up to the counter, ordering a sugar-free oat milk vanilla latte for herself before turning toward Hayley. “What are you getting?”
Hayley shot her an incredulous look, but then shrugged and ordered a cappuccino on Caitlin’s tab.
As they stood waiting for their drinks, Hayley revealed her reason for tracking Caitlin down.
“I want you to leave Gemma alone,” she said bluntly.
“Hayley, we’re working together, you know that’s not possible.”
“You know that’s not what I mean.” Hayley narrowed her eyes at Caitlin. “Stop leading her on. We both know that you’re just going to disappear to LA again once this movie is over.”
“I’m not...” Caitlin paused, processing Hayley’s words. “Wait, has Gemma been talking about me?”
Hayley rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t play dumb, Caitlin. Gemma has always had a soft spot for you, but I’m not going to let you destroy her life again.”
“I know you don’t like me,” Caitlin started.
Hayley sneered.
Ignoring her, Caitlin went on. “But I never wanted to hurt Gemma. I loved her more than life itself. I messed up, Hayley, but there’s nothing I can do about that now.”
Hayley just looked at her, unimpressed. But Caitlin needed her to believe her next words.
She held Hayley’s cold gaze and said, “Hayley. Please. If I have even a sliver of a chance left with Gemma, I need to know. I will never walk away from her again.”
“Caitlin!” The barista called out over the noise, setting the two coffees onto the counter and breaking the moment’s tension.
Caitlin moved to grab the drinks, and Hayley spoke up as she accepted the one in Caitlin’s outstretched hand.
“Look. If you hurt her again, God himself will not be able to stop me from making the rest of your life a living hell. Oh—and thanks for the coffee.” Hayley held her cup up in a fake salute before spinning and marching out of the café.
Caitlin closed her eyes and gave her head a slight shake, trying to recenter herself.
If Hayley had felt the need to intervene, that must mean that Gemma was falling for her again. And Caitlin hadn’t imagined the softening she felt around Gemma’s edges lately. It meant she still had a chance.
Caitlin took her coffee outside, savoring the sun’s warmth on her skin as she strolled, determined not to waste a day off in New York City.
She wandered through Central Park, taking in the melting pot of people around her.
Her eyes were drawn toward two women kissing sweetly on a nearby bench, reminding Caitlin of her own history in this park.
Just as her mind set the scene—a checkered picnic blanket, Gemma’s mouth on hers, a forgotten deck of cards scattered in the grass—Caitlin’s phone began to ring from her shoulder bag.
Scrambling, she fished it out and saw Maddie’s face filling the screen.
“Hey Mads,” Caitlin answered the call.
“Guess who just landed in New York!”
Caitlin had completely forgotten that Maddie and Brad were flying in for the three of them to promote Ticket to Rio together, even though Lara must have reminded her a hundred times that week.
“I cannot wait to see you,” Caitlin said genuinely. Maddie’s arrival could not have come at a better time.
“Same!” Maddie squealed. “Let’s grab drinks later. We have a lot to catch up on before we have to sit through a full day of press tomorrow.”
And that is why, at five o’clock, Caitlin made her way down to the lobby of their shared hotel to find Maddie waiting on the cream sofa. They gave each other a once-over as if it had been years since they had seen each other, not a mere six weeks, before they fell into a tight embrace.
Lara had arranged a car, and the driver dropped them off at Madame George—an intimate, upscale cocktail bar in midtown Manhattan. The place’s interior felt nostalgic and comforting. Caitlin had never been there before, but Lara had suggested it and reserved a private table in the back for them.
Maddie and Caitlin sat facing each other, turned sideways, sharing the same red velvet couch against the wall, so they were close enough to talk without being overheard.
“I need to know everything,” Maddie started, still speaking louder than Caitlin would have preferred, “but can we start with me?”
Without waiting for Caitlin’s answer, Maddie dove right in. Caitlin guessed that she must have been holding something in for a while.
“I’m still seeing Kim, but I don’t know what to do because we fight so much, but the sex is mind-blowing. I’ve broken up with her like five times, but I cave every time she calls.”
“What could you possibly have to fight about?” Caitlin asked, half laughing. “It’s only been like two months.”
Maddie leapt down the rabbit hole, cataloguing every incident between her and Kim. Apparently, they had decided to be exclusive, but Kim flirted openly, and not always with Maddie.
Caitlin ached for her friend, who wanted nothing more than to find her future wife. Maddie was beautiful, successful, and generous at heart. Whoever ended up with her would be lucky to be loved by someone like that.
Their drinks arrived just in time. Picking up her glass, Caitlin leaned forward and said, “Mads, you should definitely end it. Just block her.” It sounded like Kim was only going to get in the way of Maddie finding someone she could truly be happy with.
The women clinked their glasses together, toasting to their reunion, before Caitlin unceremoniously blurted, “I slept with Gemma.”
God, it felt good to get that off her chest.
Maddie nearly did a spit take. “Holy shit. Warn a girl next time. How did that happen? Last we spoke, you two were barely speaking.”
Caitlin told Maddie everything—the tryst in Gemma’s trailer, the way Gemma had reached for her, Gemma’s birthday, her confrontation with Hayley, and everything in between.
“Wow,” was all Maddie could muster.
“Yeah,” Caitlin exhaled, agreeing. She had laid a lot out for Maddie in that one, long-winded moment.
“I know what I felt, Mads. This isn’t just in my head.
I miss being with her—not just physically, even though that was incredible.
I miss all of it, even the small, ordinary moments.
I want to be her number one cheerleader again, the one she comes home to and who holds her when she needs to be comforted. ”
Maddie just stared at her for a brief minute. “I’ve never seen you light up like this for someone before. So, what now? What about Michelle? Are you two still talking?”
Fuck.
Caitlin had been so focused on Gemma lately that she had kind of forgotten about Michelle.
It hadn’t been one-sided, though. They had both been distant, although Caitlin suspected that she had probably allowed too many texts to go unanswered.
Michelle didn’t deserve to be strung along, so Caitlin would need to have that conversation as soon as possible.