41. Nikolai
41
NIKOLAI
A run’s pissed. I spent the entire day ignoring his calls yesterday and this morning riding around on my bike. I needed the space. Needed to feel the air against my skin and rush of speeding between cars and taking corners a little too quickly and my knees got dangerously close to the pavement.
But Jane and I needed to take time to ourselves yesterday to digest everything. My heart broke last night as she cried, worrying about the kinds of things people were going to say about her. Couple that with Walker’s reaction and any reaction to the fallout of these photos and what it means for my career were put on the back burner.
I love music and I want this solo album to succeed, but my relationship with Jane and Walker is more important. I wish I would’ve realized that before I cowardly agreed to the arrangement with Kerra.
But what’s done is done and I stroll into Arun’s office with a new sense of purpose. He sits behind his desk looking worse for wear. Between me and the guys, we’ve aged Arun over the last nine years since he signed us.
“How the hell did someone get these photos?” I demand the second I close the door behind me. “Was I being followed?”
Arun sounds utterly exhausted as he rubs his forehead. “Good morning to you, too.” His eyes flick to the cut on my lip. “I assume that’s courtesy of Mr. James Walker?”
I flop in one of the cushioned chairs on the other side of his desk and exhale. “Please tell me that you didn’t know that these were coming out and didn’t warn me.”
He sits forward and braces his elbows on the desk. “I would never do that to you and I’m insulted that you would even ask that of me.”
“Fuck, I know, I’m sorry.” Outside of Jane, Milo, Hendrik, and my best friends, there’s no one else I trust more than Arun. “It’s just been…fuck, man.”
He rises and goes over to the crystal decanter. He pours us each a glass of whiskey and extends one to me.
“Little early to be drinking, isn’t it?”
“Special occasion.” He clinks his glass with mine and sits. I take a sip and cringe at the burn. “Alright, so I can see you’re pissed.”
“That would be an understatement.” I scoff.
“I, of course, didn’t know these photos existed until they were splashed across the press. I would’ve had them shut down otherwise.”
I know he would’ve. Arun’s helped manage plenty of scandals for us over the years and I wouldn’t expect any different from him.
“And Kerra’s camp certainly didn’t clear them with me.”
“You think it was her?”
He shrugs. “Who else? You broke off the relationship and left her high and dry.”
“I didn’t leave her high and dry,” I mutter. “She’s fine.”
“Oh, she’s more than fine.” Arun slides a piece of paper across the desk. “She already released a statement and has gained over eleven thousand followers in the last twenty-four hours.”
“What?” I exclaim. I grab the paper and read it over.
I, like many of you, was shocked to see the photos circulating of Nikolai and another woman. I put my trust into someone and that was completely taken advantage of. To say I’m heartbroken would be putting it lightly.
I ask that right now you respect my privacy and I promise I will be back soon, better and stronger than ever.
Xoxo, Kerra
“Is she for fucking real?”
Arun sighs and twists his watch around his wrist. “It’s not a bad statement.”
“Hey—”
He holds his hands up. “It’s not good for you, but it’s a good move by her camp. Garnering sympathy, playing toward the hearts of other women that have been cheated on.”
“I didn’t cheat on her, Jesus.”
“I know, but they don’t. And we can’t come out and say the entire thing was fake so there was no wrongdoing on your part.”
I groan and pinch the bridge of my nose. “So she what, had me followed as a precaution this whole time, because she knew I didn’t really want this, so if I ever called it off not on her terms, she could blow me up?”
Arun purses his lips. “She’s smart.”
“She’s a snake,” I say, repeating Reid’s earlier warning to me. Fuck, I should’ve listened to him. “So what’s next?”
“Well, we need to discuss options. Since you are higher profile than she is, you have more to lose. And currently, you’re getting annihilated to put it bluntly.”
My head falls back against the chair.
“Is Jane coming in to talk them over?” I ask. She was going over to Walker’s this morning to try to talk to him, but maybe she just forgot to mention she’d meet me here after.
Arun is quiet so I lift my head, looking at him. “What?”
He clears his throat. “I didn’t ask her to come in to discuss it.”
I straighten up. “Why? This involves her, too.”
“With all due respect, she’s not a PR manager. And she’s not a client. This doesn’t involve?—”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” I cut him off. “Don’t you dare say this doesn’t involve her. It does. She’s probably getting ripped apart more than I am. Am I right?”
Arun’s grim expression answers that question for me.
“She deserves to be in here, voicing her opinion. And if you were going to suggest that we use her as collateral damage”—I lean forward, voice low and guttural—“you can go to hell. I’ll walk away from you right here, right now.”
“Nikolai—”
“I mean it.”
“I know you do,” he says carefully. “And it’s not the route I would propose we go, but it is an option.”
“It’s not.”
“I wouldn’t want to do that. I hope you know that. Not only because it would hurt you, but Walker is my client too, and he would never forgive me either.” He pauses, his face growing softer. “And I like Jane. She’s a good woman.”
“She is,” I agree and sit back, trying to calm down. Arun isn’t my enemy. He’s my ally and I need to trust him. “And this better not affect her newly offered position or else I’m sorry, Arun, I love you, but I’ll be gone.”
A small smile tilts his lips. “You’ve finally done it.”
“What?”
“Settled down.”
I nod.
“Well, once this headache is over, at least I’ll never have to worry about you eloping in Vegas with a fling again.”
I sigh. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?”
“No. Now, let’s get a game plan together.”