Chapter Four
I am sitting at my desk, but lost in thought.
Today has been crazy busy. I’ve done intake for several participants.
I think all of them show promise, but it’s Ayla that I can’t get out of my head.
I knew it was a bad idea to bring her here because then I’d have to sit here knowing my best friend is the one fucking her.
I love Thane like a brother, but what I wouldn’t give…
I have had the pleasure of helping treat Ayla.
I’ve crossed so many lines with her, but I stopped giving a shit.
I was never inappropriate with her, unless my thoughts count.
She sees herself as this permanently damaged person, but she is growing into an amazing person now that she is allowing herself to heal.
It’s been amazing to see her come out of her shell.
She’s smart, funny, witty, and damn gorgeous.
Okay, so I also have a thing for her. A crush, if you will.
I don’t know what to call it, but I’ve never been so jealous of Thane before.
Of course, he is amazing, so she will fall for him.
I won’t deny that he is the better man. There is a soft knock at my door, and I look up to see Tabitha Sawyer, the other lead psychiatrist, walk into my office.
“Hey,” I grunt out.
“Hey, you want to talk about it?”
“Do you?” I quip. I have no reason to be a dick to her. I know it’s not her fault. Tabitha is like the annoying sister I’d walk through hell and back for, but I’d love to lock her in a closet sometimes.
She raises her eyebrow at me and crosses her arms. “I’m not the one who looks like they’ve just been run through hell. Also, you know that we have to have a meeting after everyone is checked in for our own mental health.”
“I’m fine,” I huff.
“Really?” she deadpans.
“Fine. I’m not fine. I let myself grow attached to Ayla, and then fucking handed her off to Thane. I guess I’m just realizing what that would mean.”
“Professionalism aside, does he know how you feel about her?” she asks as she sits in the black leather chair across from my desk.
“No. Honestly, it’s probably a terrible idea that I brought her here, but I think she will do well,” I say, leaning back in my chair and rubbing my hands down my face. “I just know Thane jumped on her the first chance he got.”
“You did this to yourself, Reid,” she chuckles. “You need to talk to Thane. The only way this goes smoothly, and you two don’t end up fighting, is if Thane knows how you feel. You also have to be alone with her.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “We will take her on outings to see how she does in public. She’s not been in the real world, so we need to see how she will function day to day after the program.”
“Oh, I bet Missy will love that,” Tabitha says sarcastically.
I’ve been with Missy for two years, and both Tabitha and Thane have hated her since day one. I’ve tried to leave her, but she is a relentless bitch, and I just don’t have the energy to devote to her crazy ass. So, I stay here for six weeks at a time to escape her bullshit.
“She’ll be fine,” I remark dismissively, though we both know it’s not true.
If she gets even a hint that I’ve been alone with any female, she will lose her shit.
She thinks I don’t treat female participants, but the less she knows, the better.
When she rages, I end up with bruises because I refuse to hit her.
Although I would love to rock her shit and show her what it feels like, I won’t.
“Well, if you need anything, just let me know,” Tabitha says.
“I will,” I lie. “I should call Missy before she blows my phone up.”
“I wish you’d leave her,” she mutters as she stands.
“Good night, Tabby,” I say. She throws her hand up to wave me off as she leaves. We get on each other’s nerves, and both annoy Thane, but we are as close as siblings. Maybe one day I will tell them how fucking awful Missy is to me.
When Tabitha shuts the door, I stare at my phone. I fucking hate calling Missy, but I don’t want to give her any reason to come up here and visit. Right as I pick up my phone, the screen lights up for Missy’s call.
“Hello,” I say with a sigh.
“What the fuck are you doing? Why haven’t you called me?” Missy nags.
“Today was intake, Missy. I’ve been busy all day,” I say.
“Are those crazy people more important?” she asks harshly.
Yes, actually.
“No,” I say as non-confrontationally as possible.
“You don’t fucking act like it. My friends were right about you. Your job always comes first.”
“Did you call me just to complain about me?” I ask. “How was your day?”
“Well, I spent all fucking day cleaning because you didn’t help me when you were home,” she snaps.
“I am literally home for a few days at a time. Why should I have to clean up your mess?” I ask.
“Are you stupid or something? This is your house, too. Do you not give a shit about me? I bust my ass to support you and this stupid job, and this is the thanks I get?”
“Support me?” I laugh. “All you do is complain and wreck the house that I pay for.”
“This is my house,” she growls.
“Then you can pay the fucking bills,” I say louder. “God damnit, you are such an ungrateful bitch, Missy. No fucking wonder I’d rather spend my time here with clients than with you.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” she screams into the phone. I hold it away from my face so I don’t get a busted eardrum. Damn, she’s loud. “Are you fucking someone there? You refuse most of the time to fuck me, so you must be getting it somewhere, right? Who is she?”
“Jesus Christ, Missy,” I sigh. “Really? Why does everything have to be about me fucking someone? Have you ever considered that I just don’t want to have sex?”
“I’m not doing this over the phone. Come outside and talk to me,” Missy huffs.
“What? Why the fuck are you here?” I snap as I stand up to walk out of my office.
“You wouldn’t call me back, so I came up to see you. Why? You hiding someone in there?” she asks.
“No, Missy,” I say with a sigh.
“Then come outside and talk to me,” she says. “Please?”
“Fine,” I say, smashing the down button for the elevator. “Where are you parked?”
“Off to the side,” she says with a happier tone.
“Be there in a second,” I say, ending the call and slipping my phone into my pocket.
I hate her so fucking much. I know what’s going to happen. She is going to try to get me to fuck her, and if I say no, she will cause a scene. She’s been trying for months now to get pregnant and trap me, but I refuse to let that happen.
I recently found out that they have developed a male birth control pill, so I have been taking it. She doesn’t know, and she would absolutely lose her shit if she did know. I can’t get her to prevent pregnancy, and she will just poke a hole in condoms or take them off me, so I found another way.
It sucks because unless I use force against her, I just have to deal with it.
The last thing I want to do is be considered weak for not being able to handle a woman half my size, but I also don’t want to go to jail because I knocked her the fuck out for forcibly making me come, hitting me, calling me awful names, or anything else she does.
When I get to Missy’s car, I reluctantly pull the door open and sit down. She immediately leans over and kisses me, but pulls away and frowns. “What's your problem?” she asks.
“Nothing, babe,” I say softly, cupping her cheek and kissing her. I am trying my best to keep the peace because I just can’t take the stress anymore. I want her out of my life, and I have been hoping she’d run off with someone else by now.
When I pull away, she smiles. “How has your day been?” she asks, reaching for my belt.
“Long,” I sigh and gently grab her wrists. “Missy, I’ve had a long day and…”
“Let me make it better,” she says with a smile. “I’ll just suck your cock. Promise.”
I look at her for a moment, trying to figure out what she’s up to. After a second, I relent and let go of her. She immediately grins and unzips my pants.
Like she planned this, she grabs lube from her purse and pours a bit into her palm before she begins stroking my flaccid dick.
I fucking hate this feeling. I hate that my body responds.
As I get hard, I get mad. At her. At me.
At everyone who says a man can’t be raped, because I don’t want this.
She knows I don’t want this. But because I will come like I always do, it’s assumed I want it.
I’d much rather strangle the whore, but I have more self-control than that.
Not enough to stop from groaning when she leans down and takes my cock to the back of her throat.
She reaches next to me as she bobs her head and lays the seat back so she can work my pants down more. “Fuck, I love your cock, Reid,” she croons as she strokes me. “Such a good boy getting hard for me.”
“Stop,” I growl.
“Make me,” she sings. “Are you going to let me keep control and suck your cock, or are you going to teach me a lesson?”
“Fuck, Missy,” I groan as she tightens her grip on my cock and cups my balls at the same time. She leans down again and starts sucking on just the head, and it pisses me off.
“Come on, Reid. Teach me a lesson with this fat cock of yours,” she pouts. “Or would you rather come for Mommy?”
This fucking bitch… I don’t do anything because I know she is trying to manipulate me into fucking her. She laughs and slips her hand down between my thighs and slides two of her fingers into my ass as she takes my cock to the back of her throat and sucks hard.
“Fuck!” I groan. She continues to bob her head in an attempt to steal my soul. She pulls her fingers out, and I don’t realize what she is doing until a thick shaft of a silicone cock fills my ass.
The thing about Missy is that she knows how to hit every single one of my triggers.
She knows that I’ll freeze up when she does this.
Memories of college flash in my mind, and I can’t make it stop as she fucks my ass and sucks me.
When she sits up and reaches for something in the back seat, it dawns on me.
“The pharmacy called for your prescription when you were in the shower last week,” she says as she slides my cock into the sucking machine.
“Missy,” I growl.
“You lied to me,” she says, turning it on its highest setting. I instantly see stars when the toy in my ass starts vibrating, and the toy around my cock does the same as it sucks my soul out. I grab her forearm, and she hisses in pain when I tighten my grip.
“Stop,” I groan.
“You’re a fucking pussy,” she mocks. “Look at you, taking it just like you did in college. I bet Mommy would be proud of her good boy taking a cock in his ass just like she trained him to do.”
“Shut up!” I beg through gritted teeth.
“One day, everyone will know what you did to me,” she says as I unwillingly come. It’s weak, but the machine milks it out of me and doesn’t stop. “One day you’ll rot in jail… but I’ll get to have your baby in my belly… I’ll keep the baby, because I’ll refuse to punish the child for my rape.”
“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” I growl.
“And even if you don’t go to jail… You’ll lose your job. No one wants a rapist, Reid. I fucking own you.”
“You fucking bitch,” I say as I tighten my grip on her arm until she screams in pain.
I know I have gone too far, but I can’t make it stop as the toys work together to force a massive, mind-numbing orgasm out of me.
My cock pulsates as the toy drains my cock.
It still doesn’t let up so I finally grab hold of it.
When I pull it off and throw it into her back seat before doing the same to the toy in my ass.
“Fucking crazy bitch,” I growl as I fix my pants. “We have cameras here, you stupid cunt.”
I open the door, and one phrase changes everything. “No one will believe you,” she says, choking on her tears. She is cradling her obviously broken arm, and everything she collected in that toy is spilled in her back seat. She thought she could continue to control me, but I’m fucking done with her.
“And no one will find your fucking body when I fucking kill you.” I turn around and snap back. Her eyes go wide, not expecting me to say that. “We’re over. If I ever fucking see you again, I’ll kill you myself and smile in my mugshot.”
With that, I storm back into the building.
She speeds off the property as I am shutting the main door.
When I turn, I see Tabitha. She doesn’t say anything, but we both know she understands now.
She nods once before waving me to walk with her.
We stay silent as we go to the dormitory located in the back portion of the first floor.
I stop and turn when I get to the door to my room. “I left her,” I say quietly.
“Good,” Tabitha says simply. “Find space to process things… and then tell Thane. I’ve got your back, okay?”
“Kay,” I say. “Love you, Tabby. Good night.”
“Love you, too, Reid. Get some rest.”
I go into my room and strip down as I go to my bathroom.
I get the water as hot as possible before stepping in.
I let the scalding water wash away the memories and bring me to a place where I can relax, even if only for a passing moment.
I know Missy won’t stop here, but I won’t let her ruin me—She’s done enough damage.