22. Chapter 21 Katrina
M arch 2024
Two and a half hours after leaving Bryce and Josie’s, I’m pulling up to Will’s apartment building, unsure he’s even home. Since taking the job in Columbia, it’s been harder to keep track of his schedule. He mostly just gives me a day that will work for a virtual date each week, and if there was a week we couldn’t do one, he didn’t seem to care. If I had called, we would have been done sooner, but I meant what I said to Josie. This needs to happen in person.
Not for him, but for me. I deserve to have my voice heard.
“Katrina?” I whirl around at the sound of Will’s voice. He’s walking from his building toward me, dressed in his work clothes with a bag slung over his shoulder. He’s about to go to work, but I don’t really care. “What are you doing here? I literally just saw you yesterday.”
“So, I’m only allowed to see my boyfriend at scheduled times?”
He lets out a tired sigh, like my mere presence is too much for him to take right now. “We just spent the entire weekend together, Katrina. You know I don’t like being caught by surprise.”
“Then you’re really about to hate this conversation.” I cross my arms over my chest as he straightens. “I know about what you did to Carter.”
He stays stoic, not a flash of regret or remorse. “I should have known they’d come crying to you as soon as they found out you and I are together.”
“No one told me, Will. You tipped me off, and I did my research,” I snap. “Stop blaming other people when you get called out for shitty behavior!”
“What do you mean, I tipped you off?” he demands, his own voice raising.
“When you dropped me off yesterday, you told me that Carter should have been more cautious with information he wanted kept private, and it stuck with me. So, I went looking, and it’s the same comment you gave after he came out. I didn’t want to believe you were capable of something so low, but what choice did I have when the evidence was right in front of me?”
“Because you know me, Katrina. I just did what I had to do. Every guy on that team deserved to know who they were sharing a locker—”
“You absolute prick!” I snarl, cutting him off. “That’s such a cowardly, homophobic excuse. Did Carter ever try to hit on any of you?”
Will shifts, suddenly uncomfortable under my gaze. “It’s the principle of the thing.”
“Then you’ll understand why this is over,” I reply. His eyes widen. “I have no desire to be associated with someone like you. You have no regard for anyone but yourself, so good luck with the rest of your life, Will.”
Before I can turn back to my car, he reaches out and grabs my arm. “You can’t do this. Do you know what you’re giving up? I chose you when I could have anyone.”
I wrench my arm from his grasp, my cheeks flushing in anger. “Then go out and get anyone. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I might not be a size two, but you are not the only person who will ever want me, and I hate you for making me think otherwise.
“You took what you saw as a weakness and you preyed upon it, because that’s what you do. You take other people down because that’s the only way you’ll ever get ahead. You did it to Carter and you’re done doing it to me.”
Anger flashes in Will’s gaze as he takes a menacing step toward me. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Back the fuck up, Will, and let me go.” My heart beats wildly in my chest, but I stand up straighter, refusing to back down. “It’s done.”
He’s not going without a fight. “What are your parents going to say about this? Your mom was so adamant I meet you, told me I’d be able to look past any flaw, and she was right. She picked me for you and she’s going to be disappointed to know you’re leaving me for someone like Carter fucking Abrams.”
“First of all, thank you for finally admitting you only asked me out to please my mother.”
He realizes his mistake as soon as the words leave my mouth, but I don’t let him backtrack. It’s liberating to know the truth, to know if it wasn’t for my meddling mother, he would never have looked my way. It makes saying goodbye even easier.
“Second, I’m done giving a shit about what their opinion is. I deserve love, Will, real love, and this relationship benefited everyone but me. I’m done living my life for everyone but myself. Keep Carter out of it. I’m not leaving you for him. I’m leaving you because you’re an ass.”
“You have things in my apartment,” Will sighs, going back to the exhausting manipulative tactic that’s worked for years. “Come upstairs and you can calm down. You can spend the day there, and when I get home, we can talk, or you can gather your things.”
I scoff, shaking my head. “I’m not going anywhere with you. Keep my shit, trash it, or give it away. I don’t care.” I open the door to my car. “Trust me, there’s nothing here that I can’t live without.”
I slide into my driver’s seat, slamming, and locking the door behind me. Will is still standing there as I back out of my spot and pull away. I don’t look back. I have no desire to.
I want to see Carter’s face when I tell him everything is over with Will. I want him to see my face, to understand how angry and hurt I am over what one person was capable of doing to both of us. I want him to know I don’t share the same views. I’m never going to take something that’s simply part of Carter, or anyone else, and use it against them, especially in such a cruel way.
I could drive to Georgia.
The thought retreats almost as soon as it enters my mind. It’s ridiculous for me to even think about doing something like that. Mainly because I don’t know where he lives. I can’t just wander the city asking random strangers if they know the address of an Olympic swimmer. They’d think I was crazy and would more than likely call the cops on me.
No, the best thing I can do is try to get him on a video call. It’s been hours since I’ve left Bryce and Josie’s, so who knows if they’ve told him anything or if he’ll even answer the call, but I have to try. I find a mostly empty parking lot and pull in.
I can see my reflection in the camera as I wait for the call to connect, and I look rough. I look like I spent the majority of the night crying. I did. And then drove two hours to end a relationship the next morning. I did. I should have waited until I look more presentable, but I don’t want to. Plus, I can’t hang up now.
The call connects and I’m greeted with a blurry Carter until the screen comes into focus. “Kat.”
The way he says my name is breathless, like he’s spent hours trying to reach me or waiting for me to call and almost can’t believe it’s happening. He looks almost as rough as I do with his soft brown hair a tangled mess and his usually bright, captivating green eyes are dull.
“Hey,” I whisper.
“Where are you?” His brow furrows as he tries to make out the background. “Are you in your car?”
I nod, swallowing back tears that seem to be forming out of nowhere. I thought I’d run dry last night. “Yeah, I’m about to head back to Columbia.”
“You’re in Charleston,” he realizes. I nod again, then wonder if Josie and Bryce didn’t have a chance to catch him up. “Bryce told me you wanted to go last night; they figured that’s where you went but weren’t sure. Why weren’t you answering anyone’s calls or texts?”
Unlike the time Will asked me that weeks ago, there’s no demand for an answer. Carter’s asking purely out of concern for my safety. I can tell by the worried frown and tone of his voice. “I needed to do it, Carter, and I needed to do it in person.”
“And how do you feel now that it’s done?” he asks, focusing on the camera. “I’m assuming it’s done if you’re calling me.”
I nod, smiling at him. “It’s done and I feel so free. It sounds cliché, but I really do feel like I can breathe for the first time in years. I’m not waiting for a condescending comment or questioning whether he even cares. I feel relieved.”
“I think that’s a good sign that you made the right choice,” he replies. “I just . . . I want to make sure you didn’t make the choice because you found out what happened back in college. That was years ago, Katrina. I’m content with who I am in life and who I’ve loved and who I will love.”
“It wasn’t just you, Carter. He was such a jerk about everything over the weekend, and when I found out, everything made so much more sense. He’s a cruel person who doesn’t want other people to have what he can’t have, and his tactic for getting that is to put people down. Knowing what he did to you made me realize just what he’s done to me and that he’s capable of doing more. I didn’t want to be in that kind of relationship anymore. I was planning to end things in a couple of weeks because I wanted to do it in person. This just pushed the timeline up a bit.”
I was up late last night, going back over every little detail of my relationship with Will and concluded that it was emotionally and verbally abusive, his manipulation taking control of how I saw myself. My therapist is going to be relieved when we have our next appointment. They’ve been hinting at me to end things for months, and I just never saw it the same way. Until now. Now that I’ve really let myself look at it, there’s no other way to see it.
“Yeah, he is all those things,” Carter admits. “I wish you would have told me his name; I would have told you as soon as I found out that he’s not a good guy. A lot of what you’ve told me, and I’ve heard from the others, makes sense. I guess not everyone grows up, huh?”
“No, sometimes people just get worse.”
He hums in agreement. “So, what are you going to do now?”
I stare at him through the camera, wondering if he’s really asking me that or if he’s simply being sarcastic. Or, maybe worse, he doesn’t feel the same way as I do. He’s not feeling whatever it is that’s been brewing between us, and I’m about to have my heart broken. Or be utterly embarrassed. Even if that happens, though, I don’t regret the decision I made today.
So, why not take a chance at something more developing between us?
“Look, Carter, I’ve never been the one to initiate this kind of conversation,” I admit, suddenly feeling shy. “I just . . . I’ve felt something between us brewing for a couple weeks now and I know it’s crazy, but—”
“Kat.” My heart plummets to the pit of my stomach, where it’ll probably stay forever. He’s about to turn me down. “Don’t do this now. I know what you’re going to say, and I feel the same—”
And just like that, my heart’s back where it’s supposed to be and beating with foolish hope. “Then why aren’t we doing anything about it? If you think it’s too soon, I promise you it’s not. I’ve had months to get over this relationship, and I want to move forward.”
His smile is soft, gentle, and he licks his lips as he stares at me. “I know, and I don’t think that’s the problem.”
“Then what is?”
“I want to do this in person,” he admits, and my stomach swoops. Butterflies release within me, and I fight back a giddy laugh. “I want to be able to look you in the eye and hear what you’re about to tell me in a place where I can react to it.”
“React how?” I tease, wanting to keep talking to him about this. About the possibility of us.
His smile evolves into a smirk. “I don’t know, maybe pull you close, and hold you? Or kiss you? You have a freckle on your temple; I noticed it that morning at the pool and have been wanting to kiss it since.”
My hand moves to the freckle he’s talking about. His smirk grows. “Okay, give me your address. I’ll come to Georgia.”
Carter’s laugh is deep and wonderful, and I want to hear it next to me. In this car with me, where I can melt against him. “Let’s not do that.”
I pout, not wanting to wait the weeks it’ll take before we can see one another again. “Well, how long are you going to make me wait, Carter? I’m not sure how patient I can be.”
“I’ll be there in the morning.”
“What?” The word is breathless around a grin so wide my cheeks hurt. “Since when?”
“Since my best friend told me the girl I like is ending things with her dick boyfriend and might need a friend.”
The giddy giggle escapes now. “You’re making it sound so high school.”
“That’s not always a bad thing. Do you think you can wait? Tell me whatever you wanted to say tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” I promise, unable to dampen my grin. “I can tell you tomorrow.”
“You should get back to Columbia,” he advises, not making a move to end the call. “Let me know when you get home safe?”
“Sure.”
Neither of us makes a move to end the call, though. We both just sit there for a moment staring at each other. Eventually, my stomach lets out a growl that even he can hear. We both dissolve into a fit of laughter before I reluctantly agree I need to get food and head back, ending the call. If I drive back to Columbia with the cheesiest of love songs blaring through my speakers, that’s no one’s business but my own.