Chapter 51
I carry his bond
For two days, we wander through the forest, making our way up and into the mountains.
Mordecai knows where he’s going even if the rest of us don’t.
Jarek stays with me while the other two scout behind and ahead.
Their paranoia over us being followed has started to eat at me and pour into my distracted thoughts and dreams.
Mordecai comes back at midday on the third day with a familiar face.
“Legion!”
He smiles and claps hands with Jarek before pulling me into a one-armed hug.
“You made it. They have been singing your praises. The omega who saved us. I knew you’d escape.”
My face gets hot, but he steps back, looking around expectantly.
“Cadel is making sure we aren’t being followed,” Jarek says. “Did you all get out okay? The river brought you safe?”
“Yes, straight to a bank where we could get out. I think only five people didn’t make it, but they were already wounded, so I’m not sure what actually made them pass. But we were able to give them last rites and send them to the next life with love.”
Which is more than most alphas and omegas have gotten over the last few years.
“Come on, it’s this way.”
Legion leads us through the forest and up to a cliff face. I stare at it dubiously, but he just winks and keeps walking the base. He’s not wearing black but greens and browns. He looks happier but not much.
Cadel has caught up and is staying close to me.
Legion slips into the cliff, just disappearing completely from view.
“What?” I hiss, stepping closer and trying to figure out where he went.
He reappears and grins. “Scared you, didn’t I?”
I shake my head but just chuckle anxiously at how smug he’s being.
“Come on, follow me.”
I follow cautiously and slip into a deep crack between the rocks. It’s only wide enough for three people to walk side by side and can only be seen if you get almost pressed up against the red rock. I wonder what the story of its discovery would look like.
The path snakes around, and when I look up, I can just see a slither of grey sky. I get an eerie feeling, like I’m about to be crushed, and I wonder if this is what being buried alive feels like.
But as suddenly as we stumbled onto the path, it turns and opens up into a valley that is green and wide and filled with tents of every different colour.
“Welcome to Haven. The hidden camp of the Resistance,” Legion says and steps to the side so we get a clear view.
Cadel and Jarek stand next to me, while Mordecai glances at us and then steps down to shake hands with Kendric. The alpha isn’t having any of it, though, and throws himself at my alpha, hugging tight, while they both laugh.
I don’t say anything, but in the growing silence, I watch as the alphas and omegas turn, seeing us. There are no whispers, no cheers. It’s silence and then, as one, they put a hand to their hearts and bow.
“Welcome!” A familiar voice booms.
Through the crowd, I see him weave towards us. Bear looks different here. He’s got the start of a beard and is wearing a red jacket with black pants. When he sees us, he smiles in a way he never smiled while he was inside the Culling Grounds. But why would you smile in there? It was a nightmare.
A nightmare I have escaped.
We escaped.
We made it out alive. The wave of that relief keeps hitting me. A place that has stolen thousands of lives, including my mothers, and we made it out.
Jarek takes my hand and squeezes.
“We’ll celebrate tonight. A party to honour the alphas who saved our lives,” Bear shouts to the crowd.
They roar at him, cheering. They don’t seem to notice the way Kendric mutters or Legion turns away. Jarek stiffens and growls something that vaguely resembles breaking bones.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say under my breath. “We made it here, lets just see what’s going to happen, eat some nice food, and sleep. We can run away tomorrow.” I glance at Cadel. “Kidding,” I say quickly, but I’m not sure I am.
“Come this way, I want to hear everything,” Bear says loudly.
Legion tilts his head, gesturing for us to follow, and trails after Bear. People stare at us and reach out to touch me as we pass. It’s awful, but I can see they don’t mean any harm, so I swallow my discomfort and stay close to Legion.
Bear’s tent is a massive, dirty, off-white thing made out of some kind of thick canvas. As I slip inside, I find he’s got a fire burning hotly, and there are several people I recognise in here already.
“You remember everyone?” Bear says offhandedly. “Kendric, Legion, Mordecai, Theo, Banks, Benji, Charlotte, Mia, and finally, Sophie.”
I recognise all of them from the school, though I had little to do with most of them, but Mia waves and Sophie bobs her head in our direction.
I sit down beside Jarek and try not to bristle when Bear takes Mordecai to sit beside him.
“Tell us what happened after we left,” he says eagerly.
Bear glances across at me, frowning as Cadel kneels behind me. So, I’m not the only one unwelcome one here, that’s interesting.
Mordecai talks them through our escape, but when he gets to us shifting, he glances at me and then changes the story.
Jarek’s fingers twitch in my hand.
I listen in shock as we apparently get a lucky break and climb the wall as humans. We get to the top and pull a pole loose, which caused the metal construction to collapse. Apparently, we only just barely made it out alive.
Bear sits there and scoffs. “Burning the city? How childish.”
I frown. That’s all he cares about? There’s a silence, and when I look up, I find their leader staring at me.
“Keres, walk with me,” Bear demands.
Jarek’s fingers tighten on mine. I pause, staring at Bear before nodding and pulling my fingers free.
“I’ll be fine,” I murmur.
Bear leads me out of the tent and deeper into the valley. He leads me up a trail until we get high enough that we can look down on everything. I glance behind me and see a cave. It goes pretty deep into the cliff, though the entrance is tiny.
“I dislike you. Not you, but what you represent,” Bear says suddenly, rocking back on his heels.
I think he expects me to be offended. I’m not. His opinion of me means nothing.
“And what is that?” I ask defensively.
He finally looks at me, fierce, intelligent eyes seeing more than I would wish.
“You are the exception, the impossible. You represent the kind of hope that I can’t afford for the last alphas and omegas to have.”
“I don’t understand,” I protest with an uneasy feeling in my chest.
“Hope makes you reckless. The kind of hope that has you believing if you get caught by the Path, you will get rescued or escape. Three times, Keres. It’s not just unheard of; it’s impossible. You have been touched by the gods.”
“The gods?” I spit. “They have deserted us, left us to rot here. Do not talk to me about being touched by the gods. If you had seen what I’ve seen and done what I’ve had to do to survive, you wouldn’t be saying touched. Cursed, maybe.”
Bear smiles. “Exactly.”
My mind stutters over what he’s implying.
“What?” I’m stunned by his sharp agreement. What does that even mean? I want to scream at him, to rail, but what can I possibly say to him? His mind is made up, I can see it.
“Our people are already looking at you as if you are divine. Praying to you, hoping that you will favour them. The blind faith that their hope has created is not something that can easily be quashed.”
The reality of my infamy leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I swipe my hair back away from my face, licking my lips as I try to find words.
“You want me to leave?” I ask, my voice going up at the end until it’s almost shrill. “Because I’m a danger to your power?”
He wrinkles his nose . “Not leave, at least not right away; stay out of sight, be normal. Do not be exceptional. I need you to remember that we’re trying to save people.” He says it with so much condescension that I think I’ll choke on it.
“I understand that,” I snap.
“Do you? You lived for five years alone, you could have joined us; we would have welcomed you, but you stayed apart from us. You, Jarek, and Cadel have become so untouchable that you divide the hierarchy of the Resistance. Even Mordecai is lying to me.”
“We’re not going to steal your position,” I say bitterly.
“I don’t give a fuck about who leads the Resistance. I care about keeping these people alive.”
I look away, over the valley, frustrated and hurting. Of course, he’d know that Mordecai was lying to him. “Where should we go? How far is far enough? Are you going to recall me to come fight with you when they come?” I say bitterly.
“I will use you and anything else I think I can use to save the people that live in this camp.” He’s not mean about it; it’s a statement of fact. His priority is saving these people. What are mine? Do I have any choice other than to save myself?
“What exactly do you want, Bear?” I ask carefully.
“Stay a couple of days, talk to the people. Don’t tell them about your miracles, tell them about how normal you are and how just like them you are, and then I want you to take Jarek and Cadel, and I want you to leave.”
“You wanted us to fight before.” My voice is a harsh exhale of bitter steam, but it just rolls right off him. It’s hard to be offended when you are justified in your decisions.
“That was when everyone was going to die. Now, I want you to give them a chance to live. They will come for you, Keres. They don’t care about anyone else, but for you, they will raze mountains.”
My bitterness spills into the air, and he flinches.
But he’s right, damn him. The Beta’s Fang won’t stop, and now that we can shift into wolves, they will hunt us until our heads are mounted on the citadel’s walls.
Our lives have an expiration date; they always have. We just didn’t acknowledge it before.
“Mordecai is mine,” I say warily. “You can’t have him.”
“No—”
“I carry his bond!” I snap. “If we leave, I’m not leaving a bonded alpha behind.”
Bear curses. “Fine. Better you all gone than here getting everyone killed.”
He’s so quick to give up Mordecai. He must truly believe in this path, that we have to be far away. It hurts. Is there any place for us?
“I thought you were meant to be the Resistance?” There’s no accusation in my voice, just weary confusion.
“I thought so, too. But then I saw how easy it was for them to ruin us, and I realised that in order to resist, we need to survive.”
I exhale roughly, frustrated and tired. “We’ll stay a few days, and then we’ll leave.”
“Thank you.”
My thoughts race.
“Bear?”
He pauses, looking back at me.
“I forgive you for this and what happened in Foreen.”
“I don’t need your forgiveness,” he says coldly.
“Still, you have it. I think I understand you better now, and I think if I were in your position, I’m not sure I could make the hard decisions. But I don’t want to carry any…anger with me. So, thank you for helping me, for the shelter, food, and kindness.”
He’s startled, I can see it, but he nods tightly and then walks away, leaving me in this pristine paradise wondering what I’m going to do now.
“They want me to fight. He wants me to leave. What am I supposed to do?”
Cadel, Mordecai, and Jarek. Their opinions of me matter far too much.
For some reason or another, they are insistent that we be here, but now we’re being told to leave, I wonder if they will feel the same.
I look up at the rolling black clouds. The gods are the reason we’re all suffering. I don’t understand why they hate us so much, but I don’t care what they want anymore. What kind of god chains up another and leaves him on a rock? What kind of gods leave their people to be massacred without mercy?
I don’t want any part of the gods.
Not now, and not ever.
My mother’s scent hits me, a soft floral, and it’s like she’s standing behind me.
“They made a tremendous sacrifice, and they sent one of their own, the bravest and strongest, the wisest and oldest. All the gods cried when she fell to be the champion of the people, but she did it gladly and with a willing heart.”
If she’s so strong, where is she now?
Shouldn’t she be here to save them?
To save us?
How are we supposed to fight an army of blind hate?
How are we supposed to survive that?
I sit there until the light fades, knowing my alphas are watching and waiting for me to come back to them. It still takes a long time before I can bring myself to face them.