Chapter 3 I Tried Everything
I started a one-sided cold war with Fu Siyan.
I couldn't figure out which step had gone wrong.
"For real? You and my brother already got that far, and it still didn't happen?"
During afternoon tea, my best friend Fu Qing stared at me, stunned.
I nodded.
After the wedding, forget that kind of thing. Fu Siyan and I weren't even that familiar.
Whenever I saw those clingy little couples, I felt a bit of regret.
I regretted that, just to escape the marriage pressure, I had rashly chosen an Arranged Marriage with Fu Siyan.
Who would believe I had spent my marriage forced to Live Like A Widow?
"That doesn't add up. My brother looks strong in every way, and I'm sure his orientation is normal."
Fu Qing dropped onto the seat beside me, putting on a serious air.
"Weird. Don't tell me you never took the lead?"
"Who said I didn't?"
I thought about it. I had been plenty forward.
A month ago, on a thunderstorm night, an idea hit me.
I used being scared to sleep alone as an excuse and dropped every hint I could.
But Fu Siyan seemed like someone had yanked the desire right out of him.
When I woke in the middle of the night, I found him on the sofa outside my bedroom door, reading.
The little night lamp beside him lit the hard lines of his profile.
I nearly had a heart attack on the spot.
Later on, I got myself drunk on purpose, hoping something would happen with Fu Siyan.
We did sleep in the same bed that night. He just didn't do anything.
The next morning, I saw Fu Siyan standing in front of the dressing mirror, tying his tie like nothing had happened.
"I already had Zhang Sao cook you millet porridge. If you can't hold your liquor, drink less from now on."
I sighed. I really was out of moves.
To Fu Siyan, did I have that little appeal?
"If nothing else works, I'll ask my brother for you. Going on like this isn't a solution."
"Don't ask your brother."
I lifted my eyes.
"It's embarrassing enough. I don't want it even more embarrassing."
Through all of this, I realized that after being married this long, I still didn't really understand Fu Siyan.
Maybe the marriage he wanted was a meeting of souls.
Or maybe we just needed the right moment.
Once I thought it through, I felt a lot better.
Anyway, there were plenty of days left. We could take it slow.