16. When Everything Has Changed
Chapter sixteen
When Everything Has Changed
Maggie
So caught up on how he still used the wallet I’d given him ten years ago, he was halfway to the door before I caught up to him.
I had to ask him something that I might not want to know.
But before I could see him again, other than by chance, especially out at his place where we always used to meet, I had to get the answer.
I braced for the response. “Are you seeing someone? I mean, I know that sounds strange, but I didn’t want to stop by your place if it you were dating someone.
The gossip mill is probably just as strong as ever, and I don’t want to make anyone feel like I’m stepping on toes. Mom needs rest, not drama.”
His eyes widened. “Ah, yeah, that gossip mill is just as strong, but um, well …”
Mortified, I instantly backpedaled as I headed for the door. “No, that’s fine. I shouldn’t have pried. You have every right to see someone, especially after all this time.”
Remembering how Jo Ellen saw me holding his hand, I flushed bright red. I darted out the door, dying inside, but there was nowhere to hide.
Before I made it too far down the sidewalk, Paul’s large hand rested on my shoulder, stopping me. “I’m not. Seeing someone, that is.” He handed me a napkin with his number scribbled on it. “Call or text me anytime you want.” Then he left without another word.
By the time I turned around, Paul was already in a big pickup truck heading out toward the farm.
The dust he raised up headed in my direction, but I was stuck to the spot.
Looking down at the napkin, I saw his familiar scrawl.
Surely, his handwriting couldn’t make me yearn for him, but damn if it didn’t.
The summer heat felt more oppressive than ever as I stood in the wake of Paul Stratton’s dust. Mom wasn’t wrong; he was built, toned, and ripped, with hair so long it curled at the base of his neck and a permanent five o’clock shadow.
He was an incredible mix of the boy I used to know and a handsome, mysterious man of few words.
His turns of phrase, the way he spoke, when he did choose to grace me with his thoughts, were the same as always: a little awkward and completely endearing. I was more in love with him now than ever.
My heart still raced at the thought of seeing him again, but I wondered at his hesitation inside and his hasty departure.
Could he be in a situationship with someone?
That could explain why Mom didn’t know he was seeing someone.
Paul was incredibly private. Maybe he was unclear about his status or just beginning something with a woman?
I wouldn’t pop into his life and disrupt what he was building here.
Pie sat heavily in my stomach as I realized that after all this time, we may only ever be friends.
Before I went to the house, I stopped by Milbourne’s Dairy for a pint of Mom’s favorite ice cream. I wasn’t sure how much of it she would eat, but some mint chocolate chip ice cream always made her smile.
“I hope I’m not too early,” I said, knocking gently on the front door as I entered.
“I’m just finishing the dishes,” Father replied. “You can see her now.”
Taking the ice cream into the sun porch, I held it up. “Still like mint chocolate chip?”
The smile on her face was the only answer I needed.
“I’ll get you a spoon,” I said, setting the ice cream on her tray. “I’ll be right back.”
When I went to the kitchen, Father muttered under his breath something about sugar.
I sighed as I took out a spoon. “If she’s receiving hospice care, don’t you think she could enjoy a treat?”
Turning away, Father continued to handle the dishes, so I took the spoon to Mom.
“Here,” I said, handing her the spoon while I removed the lid.
“Thank you,” she said, struggling to get a taste. “Would you help me?”
Taking the spoon and ice cream from her, I gave her a small bite.
Mom closed her eyes, savoring the flavors. It was wonderful to see her enjoy something this much.
“Did you see Paul today?” she asked as I prepared another bite for her.
I placed the spoon between her waiting lips. “I did. We had pie at Steeplegate and had a nice talk.”
Setting her hand over mine, she beamed at me. “Tell me all about it.”
“You were right. He has grown up a lot. So, he acknowledged his part of not keeping in touch, and I told him it was selfish of me to ask him to come to Chicago. I think we’ve buried the angst of the past,” I said, preparing her another bite.
After she enjoyed it, she hummed. “You forgave each other?”
I lifted one shoulder. “I guess. I don’t think either of us were mad at each other, really. We were disappointed in ourselves and didn’t know whether we’d ruined our friendship with what was said and done.”
“There’s no time for miscommunication in this short life, Maggie. Go see him,” she said.
I offered her another bite. “Maybe tomorrow we’ll catch up with each other again.”
“No time like the present,” Mom said, accepting the bite. “I think I’ve had my fill anyway. “Go see him. Tell him how you feel. Pour your heart out to him. You owe it to yourself to find out that he feels the same way.”
Could I do that? After all these years, could I trust Paul with my heart?
“What if nothing’s changed?” I asked, placing the lid back on the container.
With a light chuckle, Mom shook her head at me. “Oh, my sweet girl. everything has changed. You can see that, can’t you?”
We’d lived without each other for so long that things must have changed. Even if he didn’t have a girlfriend, that didn’t mean he was wanting more than friendship with me.
“You’re hesitating,” Mom observed. “Don’t wait to figure everything out. It doesn’t matter where you live or what obstacles lie between you. Love will conquer all. Go to him and don’t waste another second being afraid.”
Not wanting to disappoint her, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, wished her a good night, and took the ice cream to the freezer.
“I’ll be back in the morning,” I told Father.
He lifted his head from his book. “No earlier than ten.”
Giving him a nod of acknowledgment, I left with little flutters in my stomach. Maybe Mom was right. I hoped I could see Paul tonight. I’d message him from my car.