Chapter 41
My eye twitches as I stare up at the big cat sitting directly on my chest. She regards me with a simple tilt of her head.
“Zuhara, would you be so kind and get off me?”
She settles more comfortably on me, her paws planted on my chest, giving me what I can only describe as a smile.
“Oh, my Kayn, how I’ve missed you so.”
That makes me smile, because even with my mind racing—and my body aching to get back to not only Amarah, but Lucifer—I’ve missed her too. I run my hand along her neck, scratching behind her ear.
“Me too. It’s been too long.”
She shifts upward, nudging her head under my chin before dragging her tongue up the entire side of my face.
After a few moments of her rubbing up against me, she finally moves, and I pop my head from side to side before sitting up. Only now do I really take in my surroundings.
It’s night, but the sky is streaked with glowing red auroras and scattered stars for as far as I can see. The whole world is washed in warm hues—reds, oranges, ambers, rose—and instead of looking horrifying, it’s celestial.
The terrain is flat and open, distant mountains cutting jagged silhouettes against the horizon.
It all feels endless. A strange, quiet isolation.
To my left stands a single massive tree, ancient and sprawling.
Its branches twist like giant veins, and within them I see silhouettes of animals resting peacefully.
“Welcome to the Phantasm, Kayn.”
“Why am I here?”
I pull one knee up and rest my arm across it. Lucifer told me about this place. That no one comes here except Familiars. He’s never been here himself—which is concerning. I’m not worried for my safety; Zuhara wouldn’t put me in danger. But this place is significant.
“Belial was heading to Lucifer’s room.”
I’m on my feet before she can even tell me to calm down.
“Take me back. Now!” I shout.
“Amarah!” I shout through the bond, but just like when I tried reaching her in the springs, it’s empty. Nothing on the other end. Rage builds from the deepest pit of my stomach. “Can you hear me, little slayer? Hello?!”
“Kayn, calm down.” Zuhara’s voice cuts through my frantic attempts to connect with my girl.
“How can you tell me to calm down?! That girl in there needs me. She isn’t safe here!”
“Do you think Lucifer will allow anything to happen to her?”
My nostrils flare. “I don’t know him as well as I thought I did. So, very bluntly—no. I don’t trust he’ll keep her safe.”
She rises onto all fours and begins to circle me. “She is as safe as she can be in the situation you and her put yourselves in.”
My heart squeezes, because she’s right. I put us in this position. This isn’t anyone’s fault but my own.
“Okay, but I need to get to her.”
Zuhara shakes her head and dips it. “He’ll let me know when it’s safe, and then I’ll bring you back to him. Not before.”
I turn away from her, staring out over the endless planes around me that offer no comfort. I know there’s no escaping this place. Not without her taking me.
A thunderous groan rumbles out of me. “Fucking fuck!” I spin back to face her. “Why did he leave me, Zuhara?”
She only shakes her head again. “Not my story to tell.”
“He’s going to feed me some bullshit lie when I confront him, and you know it.”
She plops down on her hindquarters, tail flicking back and forth. “How did you find out where he was? Was it the Witch?”
I hate that she skirts right past my jab at Lucifer—probably because she knows he will lie. “It wasn’t her. And her name is Amarah.”
“I know her name. Lucifer wouldn’t shut up about her for weeks.”
It’s still insane to me how fate worked. She met Lucifer before ever meeting me.
“How then, Kayn?”
I suppose there’s no real harm in telling her. It’s not like Xeraphine could say anything about it now, and even if she could, something tells me she wouldn’t care that I told Zuhara… or even Lucifer.
“A friend saw him with his father… here in the Beyond. She told me, and well—here I am.”
“Here you are…” she hums.
Silence settles between us for a moment, filled only by the rustling of other creatures. The slither of a snake. Crickets. Soft movements in the brushes.
“He misses you. More than you can ever imagine.”
“Yeah? Bullshit, Zuhara.” I rake my fingers through my hair and close my eyes. “Fucking bullshit. He had every means to come see me, yet he didn’t.”
“He wanted to.”
“Then he should have.”
“It’s more complicated than that. He’ll explain before trying to send you both home…”
I let out a snort, shaking my head. “Try is right.”
“For what it’s worth, Kayn, I am sorry.”
I scoff. “No need for you to apologize for his actions. I’ll get my answers, then I’m kidnapping him.”
That makes her laugh. “Always the brute. You won’t see me stopping you, that I can promise.”