Chapter 30 #2
I sit back and consider how that statement revealed Jaxon’s guilt. Somehow, he thinks the car accident was his fault.
The server returns with our drinks, placing the whiskey in front of Jaxon and the wine in front of me. I wish I could taste it, but I’m not going to remind Jaxon that I can’t smell or taste anything. I want him to feel comfortable around me.
“How are you feeling?” Jaxon’s question breaks through my thoughts. “Physically, I mean. After the accident.”
“I’m healing.” I hold the stem of my wineglass. “The bruises are fading, and the soreness is manageable. I barely notice it anymore.”
“Any lingering issues? Headaches? Anything you’re not telling the doctors?”
“No, nothing like that.” I study his face, noting the tension in his shoulders and the way his fingers grip his whiskey glass a little too tightly. “Why do you ask?”
“Just concerned.” He takes a drink, his eyes never leaving mine. “Car accidents can have delayed symptoms. Internal injuries that don’t show up right away.”
The server returns, places our appetizer down, then leaves us alone again.
“The doctors cleared me.” I reach for a spring roll. “I’m fine, Jaxon. Really.”
He doesn’t look convinced, but he lets it drop. We eat in comfortable silence for a few beats, and I find myself analyzing him.
There’s something about the way he moves and the careful precision in everything he does. It’s familiar, like muscle memory my brain can’t access.
I wipe my mouth with my napkin. “Can I ask you something?”
“You seem to be full of questions today.” A small smile tugs at his lips. “That’s a good sign.”
“I’m trying to understand my life.” I rest my arms on the table. “When we were working together, before the accident, did we ever talk about personal things?”
His expression shifts, something raw flickering behind his eyes before he masks it. “We talked.”
“About what?”
“Your dreams for your company. We spoke about fate and destiny. Life in general, I suppose.” He swirls the whiskey in his glass. “You trusted me with things you didn’t share with many people.”
“And you?” I take a brief pause. “Did you trust me?”
The question seems to catch him off guard. He’s quiet for a long moment. When he finally addresses me, there’s an intensity there that makes my breath catch.
“I did.” His voice is rough around the edges. “I still do.”
“Why are you making it sound negative?”
He shifts in his seat. “It’s not that. It’s just not something I give to many people.”
The kindness in his tone makes me warm inside. “Jaxon, I hope my accident didn’t mess up our friendship.”
“It didn’t, but it did change our dynamics.”
“How so?”
He stares at me for so long, I almost repeat myself. Then he reaches across the table and covers my hand with his. His palm is warm, solid, and something about the touch feels right in a way I can’t explain.
“Take this morning, for instance. You’re relearning things about your business you’ve mastered, and I’m here to help. Happily, I might add.”
“Isn’t that what you did before when you mentored me?”
“Yes, but before the incident the other day, you didn’t need me much anymore.”
I glance down. Am I taking up too much of his time by trying to connect with my past?
I raise my gaze to his. “I appreciate your help today and promise to get up to speed so I’m not pulling you away from way more important things.”
“That’s not what I was saying. I was pointing out that you know what you’re doing. You just need to remember.”
I release a heavy sigh. “Yeah, I’d like to. Believe me, I give myself headaches trying to force back my memories.”
“So, you want to remember?” His thumb brushes across my knuckles once before he pulls away.
“Very much.”
“Then that’s what I’ll hold on to.”
“Why does that comment make me believe there’s more to the story?”
We walk back to the building in silence as I try to dissect Jaxon’s messages. He talked in circles all through lunch.
Every time I had a question about our past, he answered with a vague response. And what’s throwing me off the most is that I’m not bothered by it. No, I’m strangely at ease with his reaction to me.
The afternoon sun heats my shoulders as I let that thought roll around in my head, but it’s Jaxon’s presence beside me that settles the anxiety coiled in my chest.
Something about him quiets the chaos in my mind. I don’t understand it.
This pull I feel toward him, this sense that being near him makes everything less overwhelming, is settling. It must be because he mentored me, but I need to learn to be independent.
We step into the elevator, and I press the button for our floor. The doors slide shut, trapping us in this small space together.
I should say something. Thank him for lunch and tell him I can handle the rest of the day on my own. Instead, I stay quiet, stealing glances at his reflection in the polished metal doors.
“Thank you for lunch,” I finally manage as the elevator climbs. “And for answering my questions. I know some of them were difficult.”
“It’s fine, Livianna.” He adjusts his tie. “I’m glad I could help.”
The elevator dings, and the doors open onto our floor. We step out into the hallway, and my stomach spins at the thought of him going back to his office while I face mine alone.
“Jaxon?”
He turns, one hand braced against the doorframe of his office space. “Yes?”
“I know you have work to do, and I don’t want to keep you from anything important, but…” I fidget with the strap of my purse. “Would you mind staying nearby?”
“What does that look like?”
“Just for the afternoon? I have calls to make about the Marcus Chen deal, and it would help to have you available if I need clarification on something.”
It’s not a lie, exactly. I do have calls to make. But that’s not why I’m asking.
I’m asking because the thought of being alone in that studio, surrounded by memories I can’t access, is unbearable. And because his presence makes me feel grounded in a way nothing else does right now.
“Of course.” He doesn’t hesitate. “I’ll work from your office. That way I’m right there if you need anything.”
Relief floods through me. I almost sag against the wall.
“Thank you, Jaxon. I promise I won’t be a distraction.”
“Sometimes distractions are part of the joy of working.” Something flashes in his eyes, but it’s gone before I can name it.
“I have a feeling you’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“No. I mean, yes, I want you to feel better, but I wasn’t just saying that for that reason. I was saying I’ve always enjoyed spending time with you. Sometimes your distractions were exactly what I needed to gain clarity on my…”
“Your what?”
He shakes his head. “It’s nothing. I just enjoyed working alongside you.”
“In that case, let’s get back to work.”
We return to my office together, and when he settles onto the couch with his laptop, that knot in my chest finally loosens. I sink into my desk chair and pull up my call list, but my gaze keeps drifting to where he sits.
He’s focused on his screen, his brow furrowed in concentration, completely unaware that his presence is the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
I don’t understand this connection, but I’m not about to question it. He mentored me before and probably doesn’t want to lose the progress he helped me make.
I’m reviewing my notes for my call with Marcus Chen when a beautiful blonde woman bolts into my studio.
“Oh my God, Livianna. I’m so glad you’re back.”
She’s obviously a friend of mine, but who is she?
Jaxon’s gaze slips between us. I stare at the girl, not knowing what to do.
She glances around the room, then her eyes land on Jaxon.
“Why are you working in here?” Her tone is full of suspicion. “What am I missing?”