Chapter 36
CHLOE
Two weeks later, I’d settled into my childhood home and had moved my mother into her old bedroom.
Even with almost constant help, aside from the overnight hours, it’d been a bigger undertaking than I’d imagined.
The only reason I’d been able to hire a caregiver so fast was that I’d decided to pay out of pocket to expedite things.
And the fact that Evan hadn’t been charging me rent all this time was the only reason I could manage that.
The care facility had put me in touch with a former staffer who’d retired but still worked per diem.
It was lucky that she happened to be available.
When the caregiver was here, I’d alternate between work, sitting with Mom, and cleaning the house. Even though the workers were currently on pause, there was still a fair amount of dust.
I’d just closed my laptop for the day when my phone rang. It was Evan calling.
“Hey,” I answered. “What’s up?”
“How are things over there?”
“Stable. Mom doesn’t seem affected one way or the other by being home. I’d hoped it would trigger something positive in her, but I guess we’re beyond that point. It still makes me feel good to have her here, though.”
“I know Effie and I were supposed to be coming by later, but there’s a bit of an emergency at the power plant, so I’m not gonna be able to make it tonight.”
“No worries. Why don’t you still drop her by?”
“Well, I didn’t want to burden you, so I was gonna take her to Drew’s.”
“Nonsense. She was looking forward to it. Bring her here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. Mom has someone with her until after eleven tonight, and I’m finished with my work for the day. It’s the perfect time.”
“Okay, if you’re really okay with it, I know she’d love that.”
“I miss her,” I assured him.
A half hour later, the doorbell rang. I ran down the stairs to greet them, eager for the comic relief Effie would bring to an otherwise melancholy mood around here.
I opened to find Evan looking handsome as ever in a denim jacket rolled up at the sleeves, the beautiful veins in his forearms on full display. He also smelled divine. What I wouldn’t give for a moment alone with him right now.
I looked down at a smiling Effie. “Welcome to your home,” I said cheekily.
“Hi, Chloe!”
I bent to hug her, and she skipped past me into the house.
“Thanks again,” Evan said.
“Are you kidding? I should be thanking you for dropping off my buddy.”
He grinned. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“It’s honestly no rush.”
“Effie had a big lunch, so she should be good until dinner. I’ll make her something at home later.”
“Okay.” I didn’t argue that, since I didn’t have too much food in the house.
Evan looked into my eyes. “I’m dying to kiss you,” he muttered.
“I know.” I winked.
He leaned in and inhaled my scent. “Call me if you need me.”
I waved him away. “Don’t worry about us.” I stood at the door admiring his ass as he walked away.
After Evan left, I joined Effie in the living room.
“It’s weird to see our couch here,” she said.
Evan had moved some things from their previous home to this house, while other stuff was still in storage.
“It must be. I know your dad plans to add a lot more furniture once you guys move in.”
“Did you love living here?”
I sat on the couch next to her. “I really did.”
“How about now?”
“It’s a little different for me now, but still nice to be here.”
“Where is your mom?” she asked.
“She’s upstairs. Would you like to meet her?”
Effie nodded.
“Okay.” I stood and waved her toward the stairs.
As she followed me up, I warned, “She probably won’t say anything. But don’t take it personally. We talked about this, remember?”
“Yup.”
Effie slowed her steps as we approached the room. She stayed behind me, seeming a bit shy.
“Hi, Mom. I want you to meet my friend Effie.”
Remarkably, my mother turned to her. “Little Judy,” she said.
Effie smiled but looked up at me in confusion.
“I think you remind her of herself when she was little,” I whispered.
Mom seemed to see a bit of herself in everyone.
“Hi,” Effie said softly, but Mom didn’t respond.
“Has my mother eaten?” I asked her caregiver, Millie.
“She had half of the yogurt.”
“I guess that’s better than nothing.”
Mom didn’t say anything else, and Effie sat quietly, observing. After a few minutes, I encouraged Effie to follow me out of the room.
“Your mom seems nice,” she said.
I couldn’t help but chuckle. Effie was reaching. “That’s kind of you to say. I know she didn’t say much, but I like to think she appreciates the company.” As we walked down the hall, I asked, “What do you want to do?”
“Can I see my room?”
“Of course. You don’t need permission to see your bedroom.”
As we entered, I said, “You know what I found? This website that lets you upload a photo of a room and then you can see what it looks like with different colors and accessories. Want to play around with that?”
“Yes!”
Effie waited as I went to fetch my laptop. Then I brought two chairs from downstairs and set them up in the room, along with a TV tray that became a makeshift desk.
For the next hour, we used the various tools on the site to design her room.
I knew Evan planned to buy her a new white bed once they moved in, but I ordered her a new comforter, curtains, and some other accessories.
I couldn’t help myself. And it was the least I could do after everything Evan had done for me.
He didn’t have all that much time for this kind of thing, and I wanted Effie to have the dream room she deserved.
When Evan came to pick her up a little before dinnertime, she was beaming. He didn’t stay long, though, instead opting to get her home, fed, and ready for bed.
After they left, sadness washed over me.
I’d kind of hoped Evan would invite me to come back to their house for a little bit, even if it was late.
He knew Millie was here until eleven, so I could’ve easily spent more time with them.
Now that I was living separately, a certain distance had developed between us that was more than just physical.
Was it my imagination? As I made myself something for dinner, I ruminated about it.
My worst fears were confirmed later that night. I’d been sitting in the living room, trying to get my mind off of things by bingeing a reality TV show when Evan called around ten PM.
I smiled as I lowered the volume and picked up his call. “Hey, Evan.”
“Hey.”
“What’s up?”
“I just wanted to thank you again for watching her today.”
“It was my pleasure.”
“She told me she met Judy.”
“Yeah. Mom was quiet, but she called her little Judy when we first walked in.”
“Effie mentioned that. It’s sweet, but sad, too.”
“Yeah. Tell me about it.”
“How’s your mom doing tonight?”
“She’s sleeping, thankfully. Once Millie leaves around eleven, the rest of the night is on me. Fortunately, nothing crazy has happened overnight yet. She mostly stays sleeping. I have a baby monitor in my room. I did have to change her once, but that was a one-off.”
“Okay. Good.”
His tone seemed strange tonight. A long moment of silence that made me a little uneasy ensued. “Is everything okay?” I finally asked, my heart beating faster.
“Effie told me she had a ton of fun designing her room and that you bought her a bunch of stuff.”
“Yeah, uh, I was gonna talk to you about that…”
“I really try not to spoil her, Chloe. You should’ve talked to me first.”
My stomach sank. Did he just scold me? I felt tears in my eyes and fought like hell to hide the sadness in my voice. Maybe my reaction was a bit overboard, but the stress of living here with Mom had taken its toll.
“I just wanted to bring her some joy. I didn’t mean any harm.”
“You don’t need to buy her stuff to do that.”
“I know, but I have the means, and I wanted to. I don’t have nieces or nephews to spoil. Maybe I went a little crazy, but I didn’t think it was a bad thing.”
“It’s not just the money.” He paused. “I think she’s getting a little too attached to you, and tonight didn’t help.”
There it is. The real reason he was bothered by any of this. “This isn’t just about her, is it? It’s about you, too.”
“Probably,” he admitted.
Maybe it was that I’d had a stressful week with my mother, or maybe I’d had enough of the uncertainty surrounding my relationship with Evan, but in that moment, I snapped.
“You know what?” I sniffled, choking back tears.
“I’ve spent the week really missing you, wishing I hadn’t moved away from you guys.
I did this for Mom, not me. But right now, I’m glad I’m not there with you.
Your concerns are valid. I get that you’re afraid I’m gonna leave and Effie will be devastated.
But you haven’t once given me a reason to ponder staying, Evan.
Have you even considered that an option?
You always keep this invisible space between us.
How can I think about staying somewhere for someone who’s so closed off? ”
“Fuck,” he muttered. “Chloe… I’m sorry. I—”
“Sorry for what exactly? There’s more than one thing. Pretending that my job is the problem? Keeping me at arm’s length like all the other women you’ve dated? Or scolding me for doing something nice for your daughter? Pick one.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, I’m glad you did. Because you’ve put into words what I’ve been sensing from you lately. I needed to know whether to prepare myself, and now I do.”
“I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s late. I’ve gotta go.” I hung up on him.
After a minute of trying to calm myself down, I started to regret my harsh reaction. Evan had made a valid argument about not spoiling Effie, and I’d used it as an opportunity to vomit out all of the fears I’d been harboring. But maybe this was just the reality check I’d needed.
If he was protecting Effie, I needed to start protecting myself.