Chapter 40
EVAN
“Daddy!” Effie ran toward me. “Mommy came back!”
I cringed at the hope in her voice, knowing it was never for good, despite Effie’s prayers. I’d just arrived at Drew’s house, the morning after he’d called to tell me Katerina had shown up there unannounced.
“I heard, sweetheart,” I said as I bent to hug her. “She’s here?”
Effie nodded.
Despite the annoyance I always felt when my ex would spring a surprise visit on us, I tried not to let it show for Effie’s sake, tried not to rain on her parade. With everything else going on lately, though, the timing was horrible.
Last night when I’d found out Katerina was in town, I’d chosen to ignore it. After what Chloe had been through, she needed to be my priority, and I knew Drew and Maura would keep Effie safe. So, I didn’t immediately tell Chloe, wanting her to get a good night’s sleep.
But this morning, before I left to pick up Effie, I admitted that Katerina was in town.
Needless to say, Chloe seemed just as unnerved by it as I was.
And Chloe had already told me she planned to fly back to Chicago tomorrow to attend a project kickoff meeting her boss had been pressuring her to be present for.
She said she’d be back after a week or so and wouldn’t be taking all of her stuff with her. It still put me on edge.
Just as Effie left the living room, Katerina entered. She came toward me hesitantly, her long brown hair falling over her shoulders. “Hi, Evan.”
I knew Drew had let her sleep in his guest room so she could be with Effie last night.
Normally when Katerina came back to Dry River, she stayed at her mom’s house, whether Lydia was there or not.
But since she’d gotten in late, Effie had already been in her pajamas and ready for bed, and she’d asked Drew if her mom could stay with them.
“Why not call and let us know you’re coming?” I asked, low enough that Effie couldn’t hear.
“When do I ever call first?”
“Doesn’t make it right.” I bit my lip to stop from chewing her out.
“I wanted to surprise Effie.”
“How long are you staying?” I asked.
“I need to talk to you about that. I was hoping after Effie and I have brunch together, you and I could chat.”
“Whatever…” I shrugged. “But I can’t stay too long.”
Effie reappeared and pulled her mom into the kitchen. My daughter was in her glory, so innocent and forgiving.
I stayed behind in the living room, rubbing at the tension in the back of my neck.
Drew came up and placed his hand on my shoulder. “How’s Chloe?”
“She would’ve been better had this not happened on top of everything else.” I exhaled. “She’s heading back to Chicago tomorrow, actually.”
His eyes widened. “That’s it? She’s just gonna go back there and pretend like nothing happened with the two of you?”
“It’s supposed to be temporary. Before we found out Katerina was here, I’d suggested she go back there for a while to handle her business.
Then she checked her email and saw that her boss had asked her to come back anyway to attend an important meeting.
So she booked a flight. The trip is apparently only for a week. ”
“You encouraged her to leave because you’re scared?”
“Just the opposite,” I assured him. “I took your advice to heart. I want to know that what’s developed between us isn’t just some temporary distraction from her mother being sick. If she goes back to her life there, I think she’ll get a better idea of what she wants long term.”
“That makes some sense, I guess.” Drew sighed. “Let me grab you a beer.”
“Thanks. I could use one.”
He went to the kitchen and returned a minute later with two bottles. He handed one to me and said, “Well, they don’t have that old saying about letting something go and seeing if it comes back to you for nothing.”
“Chloe didn’t need the extra anxiety of Katerina coming to town, though.”
“Neither did you.”
“That’s for damn sure.” I took a long swig.
Effie popped into the room again. “Can I stay at Grandma’s with Mommy tonight?”
“Sure,” I said.
“Yay!” She ran back into the kitchen.
That worked out, actually, since I wanted to be alone with Chloe before she left tomorrow.
Drew and I stayed in the living room talking until Maura, Katerina, and Effie entered the room.
Katerina caressed Effie’s hair. “Effie, honey, I need to talk to your dad. I’ll come back in half an hour and get you. Then we’ll go over to Grandma’s.”
Effie looked between us. “What do you have to talk about?”
Fuck if I know.
Katerina smiled. “Just adult stuff.”
“Okay.” Effie shrugged.
Maura flashed me a look. I knew she wasn’t a fan of Katerina, but I appreciated her being cordial for Effie’s sake. She put her hands on Effie’s shoulders. “Come on, honey. Help me clean up and then we can finish that puzzle we started before you have to leave.”
Katerina looked over at me. “Can we take a walk?”
I nodded, following her out of the house, my temperament a bit cold. This felt like déjà vu. I’d never forget Katerina coming to my apartment back in the day and asking me to take a walk before she told me she was pregnant with Effie.
“How have you been?” she asked as we started around Drew’s block.
“We’ve been fine.” I chose my words intentionally. There was no me without Effie. It would always be we.
“Effie told me you have a new friend.”
“Chloe is more than a friend,” I admitted.
“I figured that, considering how much Effie was talking about her. She’s living with you guys?”
“Just temporarily. She was in town taking care of her mom, who just died.”
“Effie mentioned that, too. I’m sorry to hear it.”
“Chloe is actually going back to Chicago tomorrow. That’s where she lives. But I’m hoping that’s just temporary.”
I wasn’t sure how much Effie had told her mother. I’d never told Katerina about my history with Chloe, so she’d probably assumed I’d only recently met my new friend, unless Effie had mentioned otherwise.
Katerina slowed her pace. “I fear I may have come back just in time if you were getting close to someone.”
Her words gave me pause. I slowed my pace. “What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching the past few months.” She inhaled sharply. “I don’t want to be away from my daughter anymore.”
I turned to her. “It’s taken you four years to come to that conclusion?”
“It’s taken me that long to get whatever that was out of my system.”
I rolled my eyes. “Where’s Xavier?”
“He and I broke up…a few months ago, actually.”
Well, that’s news to me. “So now, because he’s out of the picture, you care about your daughter?”
“I’ve always cared about Effie,” she protested. “I just didn’t know how to be the mother she needed because there was a lot I had to experience before I could settle down.”
“Well, unfortunately, parenting doesn’t work that way,” I spat. “It doesn’t wait for you to be ready.”
“I understand that. I…” She stumbled over her words.
“In the few months I’ve been alone, I’ve talked to a therapist and spent time taking a good look at myself.
She helped me see that I was just afraid of failure—not only when it came to my daughter, but when it came to my relationship with you.
I never felt like I was good enough for you, Evan.
I always worried you were only with me because of Effie.
I became depressed, and when Xavier came along, he made me feel desired—for a while anyway.
It brought me out of the depression, but at the cost of losing my family. ”
I shook my head. “Where are you going with all of this?”
She stopped walking and faced me. “I’m ready now to earn back what I lost. I want to be here full time for Effie.
” She sucked in a shaky breath. “My hope is that she’s still young enough that she’ll forget these four years I’ve been away, or at least that I can start replacing the bad memories with good ones. ”
I huffed. “I can assure you she won’t ever forget that you left.
But you’re not gonna hear me complain about you wanting to be part of your daughter’s life.
It’s never too late. She will always need her mother, even if I’ve done everything I can to fill the void of you not being here.
I’m never gonna fight you on coming back into her life. ”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.” She started to tear up. “But I don’t just want to be part of her life, Evan. I want to be part of your life.”
Every muscle in my body tightened. “That’s insane, Kat.”
“I realize it seems that way right now. And I don’t expect you to warm to me overnight or anytime soon. But it’s my goal to get my family back someday. I need you to know that.”
“You realize how crazy that sounds, right? You can’t just disappear for four years, coming back only when it’s convenient for you, and then return one day and decide you want your family back.” I shook my head. “Things don’t just pick up where you left off.”
“I understand why you feel that way. Respect has to be earned.”
“You’re damn right, it does,” I scoffed.
“Anyway, I don’t expect you to have a positive reaction to this news right now. I just wanted to make you aware of my intentions. I fully expected you to resist and be skeptical.”
I need to get back to Chloe. “Anything else?” I huffed.
“No. I’ll be staying at my mom’s place while she’s in Florida. I have a couple of job interviews lined up for this week, but I’ll be around if you need me to take care of Effie.”
“I’m sure she’s gonna want to spend time with you, so that’ll be fine.”
Katerina ran a hand through her long, dark hair. “I’m hoping someday you’ll want to spend time with me again, too.”