Chapter 28
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Iburst through Phin’s bathroom door and found her hunched over on the floor next to the tub, water splashed all over the room.
She looked up at me, fear and pain in her eyes. She didn’t speak, but I could see the plea for help plainly written on her face. Her arms moved to cover her exposed flesh, and I surged forward.
“Saints.” I grabbed one of the plush towels she’d left on the counter by the sink and wrapped it around her body. “Are you hurt?”
Phin cried out again in her quiet rasp as her wings partially erupted from her back and then retracted again. “I don’t know what’s happening,” she gasped.
Phin groaned, and the appendages violently burst through again and fully extended, the silver feathers looking wilted and worn, like they were ready to molt.
“Can you control it at all?”
“No. I’m trying, but it’s like they’re separate from me. Like they can’t … hear me.” Phin’s body curled in on itself even further and she stuttered a pained cry as they retracted again. “I haven’t used them in a very, very long time.” She sobbed, and the bond roared. I despised how helpless I felt.
“Shall I pick you up?” I asked.
Phin nodded aggressively, and I wasted no time scooping her into my arms. I hated myself for feeling relief because I was holding her considering her discomfort.
She was burning up. I tucked the towel around her more securely when one of the ends flipped open and held it closed with my arm.
I carried her out of the bathroom, intending to lay her in her bed only to find that it was stripped to the bare mattress.
After a brief hesitation, I took her across the hall into my room.
My private chambers were set up the same as Phin’s, though done in a darker color palette.
Where hers was cream and pastels, mine was navy and charcoal.
I preferred my mattress on the floor rather than up on a frame, and I had amassed a pile of assorted pillows, blankets and cushions over the years in an effort to make the bed the more appealing place to sleep.
None of them had worked on me so far, but the collection of them all piled off to one side made the space look inviting enough that Phin reached for the bed as we got near it.
I laid her down on her side and went to my armoire, pulling out one of my oldest, softest shirts. It had been made with custom openings in the back for my wings to slide through. I hadn’t worn it in eons.
“Here.” I helped her shrug into it, mentally cataloging the sprinkling of freckles across her shoulders, the grouping of moles in the shape of a star with one very short leg on the right side of her ribs, the faint silvery scar across her lower back on the left.
I inhaled firmly through my nose as my chest burned and my cock twitched, the sight of her in my clothing affecting me far more intensely than I’d dared consider.
She groaned and pulled her knees into her chest as her wings appeared again, flaring wide. I reached out and stroked along them, several feathers falling out. I collected them, impulsively stuffing them into the little pocket on my shirt right over my heart.
“Can you feel me touching them? Or are they fully disconnected from you?”
Phin made a very different kind of noise, one that made my brain stop for several heartbeats. I began to sweat, and struggled to stop the inappropriate visions from flashing across my thoughts, the ache between my legs rapidly becoming as profound as the one in my chest.
“Yes.”
I removed my hands like they’d been burned, forcing several slow breaths so I could calm down. This was not the time to fall prey to my own base desires. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” She sobbed quietly as they retracted again, curling into herself on the bed. “What do I do?”
“I don’t know. But you’re welcome to stay here as long as you like. I’m sure this is more comfortable than a cold bathroom floor.” I moved some blankets and pillows closer, and she reached for the ones she wanted, curling herself around a pillow, burying her legs under a blanket.
I did my best to soothe Phin as her body racked itself again and again, minutes stretching into hours as we lay there together.
Sweat dotted her forehead as she quietly screamed her throat raw, her wings so aggressively punching out several times that I’d worried about her breaking the fragile bones and had collected a whole pile of damaged feathers.
I didn’t know where to put my hands, but I was unable to keep them to myself with my mate writhing in pain before me.
At one point I gathered her into my arms and pulled her across my body, her face buried in my chest as I gently rocked us both.
I stroked her hair and apologized for my inability to stop what was happening to her.
I reassured her she was going to be alright and that we’d figure out a way to stop whatever had gone wrong even though I had no idea where to begin with such a thing.
I would have promised her anything if it would have soothed her even for a few minutes.
Eventually, the time between episodes finally started to stretch, and then they were finally gone altogether. I forced myself to rouse as I started to fall asleep.
Phin was dozing on my chest, and her eyes fluttered open as I brushed some damp curls off her forehead. “I’m going to go get a few things. You’ll be alright?”
She managed a weak nod and slid off me into a stack of pillows. I climbed to my feet, loath to leave her in such a state but eager to at the very least find her something to eat. She had to be exhausted after all that, and I’d been interrupted while preparing dinner.
Every step I took toward the door increased the pressure in my chest, but I forced myself to ignore it. I left her there, on my bed, in my clothes.
I’d never been more hesitant to leave nor more eager to return to that room.
I used towels to clean the water off the floor in her bathroom, then I threw them and her discarded clothing in the washing tub.
I went back into her room and pocketed her jewelry, hopeful getting it on her skin would help.
After checking for the right colors, I also took the elixirs Greta had mentioned.
The new mirror Vassago had made me joined the other items after I did a speed-walk through the great hall, checking as well as redirecting and disabling as many gates as I could.
When I finally made it back to the kitchen, I prepared a tray of food and drinks, driven to tend to her needs even if I wasn’t sure what they might be.
The bouquets of flowers Vassago had brought me from Vincara all got hastily dropped into one large vessel, and I carried that in the crook of my elbow, pleased that there was a lovely fragrance to the bundle.
When I got back, Phin had woken and was finishing up her own project.
I nearly dropped the tray as I took her in.
My shirt was puddled around her thighs as she sat on her heels, arranging pillows and blankets along every edge of my mattress.
She was sniffing them before she put them down, frowning with pensive focus as she moved everything to her liking.
Some of her feathers were tucked into the folds of the fabrics, an intentional mixing of her scent and mine.
She glanced up, finding me lingering in the doorway. “It felt wrong.” Her hands went between her knees, like she was trying to keep them from reaching out again.
“It looks very comfortable now.” I gestured with the tray. “May I?”
Phin’s eyes shone with pleasure that I’d asked her permission, but her expression changed in a flash. “It’s your bed,” she whispered. “I should have asked you, not the other way around. I’m sorry—”
“No, this is nice. I like your arrangement much more than what I had. Do whatever you need to do to make it comfortable.”
Her smile was timid, but the glow in her eyes thrilled me. “I thought you might want something to eat.”
“In your bed?”
I shrugged, setting down the tray in the middle of the nest-like configuration she’d created. I lifted the vase from between my arm and body and handed it to her.
“Thank you.” After burying her face in the bouquet, she set it on the low bedside table. As she turned back, Phin reached over her shoulder, rubbing at the muscle where her wing ways were hidden.
“Does it hurt?”
“Not really, just sore.” She shivered. “I hope whatever that was is over.”
“Me too.” I tested the temperature of her forehead with the back of my hand, relieved to find her cooler than before I’d left. “Feeling better?”
She nodded. “Yes.” Her mouth opened like she was going to say something else, but instead, she picked up a piece of cheese and turned, taking a proper look around my room. “I actually was starting to believe you didn’t have a bed or anything, that maybe the room was just empty.”
I chuffed a laugh as I poured us both some tea. “Why would you think that?”
“I never hear you come or go from this room. I’m not even sure you sleep.”
“I do. Just rarely in here. The recliner has been where I’ve sought rest for a long time.”
“I find it impossible to believe you find that chair more comfortable than this mattress,” she grumbled, shaking her head as she reached for another snack.
I sighed. “It’s not about comfort so much as convenience. If I’m in the recliner, I can hear the doors.”
“Hear them?”
“Yes. Each of them has a unique sound when activated. Even while sleeping, I can hear activity from there and respond if needed.”
“Mmm. I noticed they all look different; I guess it makes sense they sound different as well.” Her brows pinched together as she chewed. “Can’t you make it so they don’t work while you sleep? You did something like that when we went to the glade.”
“Yes. I did it just now, in fact.”
“So why not every night?”
I shook my head and reached for an apple slice, my body responding to her calm, muscles relaxing and heartbeat slowing. “It limits use of the doorways too much.”