17. Lorraine
Chapter Seventeen
Lorraine
T hese were the facts:
I’d dated a guy who wasn’t at all what he’d seemed. When my parents had died, he’d been by my side through the tough times, and I’d learned to trust him and rely on him… and then he’d sold me. He’d insisted he’d stopped gambling almost until the minute he’d used me to pay down his debts.
Because of it, it was better for me not to get involved with anyone right away. Hell, the way I felt about it, it was better not to get involved with anyone ever again. Oscar had fucked me and my sister over in the biggest way possible, and his actions had, in my mind, negated everything good he’d ever done for us.
A woman had broken Ash’s heart in a way that made him shut down on everyone around him. Philippa had told me that he was only trying to protect himself after he’d been hurt so badly—he didn’t want to trust anyone again. He was reserved, he was careful, and what we’d shared so far was a result of him guarding his heart so damn fiercely that only the physical remained.
It meant that there were no emotions involved. That was what I told myself while we ate fruit next to the stream, talking about things that didn’t matter.
Why, then, when it wasn’t supposed to mean anything, did it mean something to me?
I couldn’t help how I felt when I was around Ash. I couldn’t say that I was madly in love with him, infatuated, head over heels like a lovesick puppy. It wasn’t that cliché, and it wasn’t that shallow. What I felt when I was with him went a lot deeper. I felt like we were connected somehow. When I was with Ash, I felt comfortable and at ease. The worries I had about my sister and what Oscar had done to me drifted away, and I didn’t feel isolated and stuck in an alternate reality.
I felt like I was exactly where I belonged.
Did he feel the same? Or was it one-sided, and he really didn’t care at all?
“Tell me about your family,” I said.
Ash frowned at me. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, tell me about your family,” I said. “Your parents, where you grew up, what it was like… your life is very different from mine. I feel like I always talk about myself.”
Ash was very careful about sharing his life with me. I understood he was guarded, but telling me about his past wouldn’t hurt either of us.
“I don’t have a family the way you do,” he said. “I didn’t grow up with brothers and sisters and parents. The other—” He cleared his throat. “My friends are like my family. Rowan is like a brother to me, and we look out for each other. We have each other’s backs, and we work together for the greater good.”
“That sounds really nice,” I said warmly. “I don’t have a lot of people who are there for me besides Cat, but I don’t need anyone else. I’d always figured as long as we had each other, we could face anything. I’m sorry you grew up orphaned, though. Do you know anything about your parents?”
Ash frowned at me. “No,” he finally said. “But you don’t miss what you don’t know.”
“Hmm,” I said. “You’re lucky.”
Ash looked surprised. “How am I lucky?”
“You don’t miss what you don’t know. I miss my parents so much sometimes, it hurts just to breathe. I would never want it any different—I’d never trade my life and my memories with them for somewhere I didn’t know them at all, but sometimes I wish the pain would go away.”
Ash reached for me and took my hand. His eyes were a deep blue, and he had pain all over his face.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He intertwined our fingers, and the gesture was warm and caring. It was the most emotion he’d ever shown me.
“It’s okay,” I said. “Most of the time, I’m used to it. It’s like an open wound, you know? In time, it grows shut, and the nerves pull away. Even though the scar is still there, and it still throbs and aches sometimes… it’s not as bad as it used to be.”
“If we didn’t feel pain, we wouldn’t have to grow used to it,” Ash said.
I nodded. “Yeah, but that’s no way to live life. Feeling pain means we felt love once, right?”
Ash thought about it, tilting his head to the side. He lay on his side, propped up on his elbow, his massive chest and arms rippling with thick cords of muscle. I stared at his body, his perfect physique, and despite how deep our conversation was, heat flared up inside of me.
I tried to quash it.
Ash turned his eyes to me. He took a deep breath through his nose, and his eyes changed, becoming darker still. A look of pure lust flooded his features.
“What?” I asked in a whisper.
“You’re aroused,” he said hoarsely.
I swallowed hard. “You’re not supposed to know that.”
Ash shifted a little closer to me, his face only inches from mine. “But I do.”
He looked me in the eyes, and I glanced down at his lips. I couldn’t help myself.
“Sometimes it’s a gift,” he added, and I forced myself to look into his eyes. “And sometimes it’s a curse.”
“A curse?” I asked in a breathy voice.
He lifted his hand and touched my cheek. The contact was electric, and the current ran through my body and tightened my core.
“I can’t help it,” he said. “I want to fuck you.”
“You don’t have to help it,” I said weakly. I didn’t know how it had happened out of nowhere, why we were both so worked up, but Ash had that effect on me. One moment, we were just talking, and the next, I wanted to jump his bones.
Ash kissed me. His lips were perfect, strong but sensual, and he knew just how to kiss me so that I melted. When he pushed his tongue into my mouth, he tasted like fruit and lust, a combination that just made me want him that much more.
Ash rolled me onto my back so that he pinned me to the blanket we were on, and he ran his hand up my side. He left a trail of fire where he touched me, and when he cupped my breast, his skin was searing hot through the tunic I wore.
“I like this,” he growled through our kisses, tugging at my tunic.
“It took me a while to figure out how to wear it,” I admitted.
“You wear it so well,” Ash said. “And it comes off so easily.” He pulled the leather thong around my waist free and pushed aside the tunic.
Just like that, I was naked.
“How do you get me out of my clothes so fast?” I gasped.
“It helps when you’re not wearing much.”
I giggled, and my cheeks burned hot. He was right. At home, I wore jeans and tops, bras and panties, shoes and socks, and they all had to be taken off one by one. Here, I wore strange-lined shifts or tunics, or my T-shirt, and that was it. I had no shoes, no underwear, and if it was this easy for Ash to get me naked, I didn’t want them.
Ash kissed me again, and his hand slid between my legs. I moaned when he ran a finger over my clit, drawing lazy circles.
“You’re so wet,” he muttered.
“You made me that way.” I whimpered when he pushed his fingers into me. “It’s a gift,” I added in a gasp.
Ash chuckled, the sound deep and rumbling in his chest. I shivered when I felt it brush against my skin.
Ash moaned into my mouth, and it was erotic as fuck. I loved the way he sounded when we did this. He was always in charge, in complete control, and then out of the blue, it would sound like he was transported to a different plane, the pleasure taking over.
I reached for him and ran my hand along his erection. He breathed hard through his nose as he kissed me, gyrating his hips, pushing his cock into my hand while he slowly worked his fingers in and out of me. I mewled and squirmed, wanting more, but at the same time, I wanted Ash to take his time and draw this out.
As if he could read my mind, he let go of me and went back to kissing me. He lifted his hand to my cheek. The scent of my arousal was thick in the air, my sex slick on his fingers.
He traced a line along my lower lip, and when I licked his finger, I tasted myself. Ash’s pupils dilated, and I tugged at his shirt, pulling it up over his head. He lifted himself off his elbow to help me get rid of it.
I reached into his pants. With a bit of a struggle, I pulled his cock free. He pulled his pants down enough that his cock stood upright and proud in the sunlight.
I ran my fingers up and down his shaft. When I wrapped my fingers around him, his flesh was thick and hot in my palm, and I pumped my hand up and down.
Ash groaned, clenching his jaw, and he kissed my neck. He sucked on the skin, then nibbled on it and moved his way up to my ear. He sucked on my earlobe. His hot breath gave me goosebumps as he moaned, his breathing coming in ragged gasps.
He kissed me again and pushed my legs open. Ash wrapped his hand around my wrist and pulled my arm over my head. My other arm was trapped against his large shoulder, and Ash rolled onto me. His eyes locked on mine, boring into me, and I held my breath when I felt his cock against my entrance. When he slid into me, I moaned long and low until he was buried deep inside of me.
Ash held himself up with his arm next to my head, his other hand still pinning my hand down. His muscular shoulders were defined and delicious. When he bucked his hips, pulling out and pushing back into me, the muscle rippled under his skin.
I ran my hands over his shoulders, feeling his muscles.
Ash slowly slid in and out of me, sensually, deliberately teasing me. I moaned, arching my back, pushing my breasts toward him. I wanted him to fuck me harder, to lick me, suck on my nipples. I ached for a release, but Ash was set on teasing me, making me beg for it.
He stroked slowly in and out of me, his eyes locked on mine, and the connection I felt when we were together felt stronger than ever. I tried to pull free, but his hand was like a vise around my wrist. Knowing that I was trapped and couldn’t get away—not that I wanted to—was incredible.
Slowly, Ash pushed me toward an orgasm. His movements coaxed pleasure into being, and despite his pace, I crept closer and closer to a release. My breathing became shallow and erratic, and my skin was on fire. I felt like I would spontaneously combust at any moment… but I didn’t.
Ash kept me teetering on the edge, aching for release, whimpering and moaning and trembling at the promise of ecstasy.
“Please,” I begged.
Ash chuckled again. “What?”
“Please, let me come,” I moaned.
Ash leaned down with a grown and kissed me. He nipped my bottom lip and bucked his hips into me, suddenly going hard and fast, not holding back. He let go of my wrist and wrapped his arm around my back and shoulder, holding me in place while he fucked me. I cried out, my breath forced in and out of my lungs with every thrust as Ash pushed me over the edge.
I moaned and wailed when the orgasm washed over me, pleasure pulling me apart so that I felt like I exploded into a thousand little pieces of light. I gasped, my breath taken away by the pure ecstasy.
Ash didn’t slow down while I orgasmed, and his movements only intensified the pleasure. My breasts jiggled back and forth as Ash rocked my body, skewering me with his cock. His face was a mask of need. He fucked me harder and harder still, his lips curled back from his teeth.
When he pushed into me as deep as he could, he curled his body forward, his head on my shoulder, and his whole body trembled and jerked as he released inside me. I moaned and whimpered as his cock throbbed, filling me up to the point I felt I couldn’t handle his size anymore.
He collapsed on top of me, breathing hard. Heat poured out of his skin as if he was made of hot water, and it washed over me, consuming me, drowning me. I breathed in the searing heat that rolled off him, and instead of feeling like it was crushing me, it filled me. Revitalized me.
Ash pulled back, sliding out of me and sitting back on his knees. He hadn’t even taken off his pants properly—they still sat on his thighs, straining dangerously against his thick, muscular legs. It was a wonder the material hadn’t ripped.
Almost as if Ash had recharged me, I was ready for more. I wanted him, craved his cock inside me again.
“Come with me to the cabin,” Ash said. “I’m not done with you.”
I struggled to push myself up, but Ash took my hand and pulled me to my feet. I collected the tunic and tried to wrap it around me.
“Leave it,” Ash growled, and his eyes roamed hungrily over my body. I watched his cock stiffen again, as if we hadn’t just fucked until he’d released inside me. I had the slick mess between my legs to prove it.
“How are you ready for more?” I asked breathily.
“I’m not like other men, you know,” he said simply.
That was the understatement of the century.
Ash grabbed the blanket and empty sack in one hand and took my hand in the other. I bunched the tunic against my chest and let him lead me naked to the cabin. No one was around to see us anyway. I’d never been naked this often, nor felt this free.
It was something about Ash that made me feel this way, and it was incredible.
And we were about to do it all again. A shiver of anticipation ran down my spine. I ached for more, and Ash was about to give it to me.
As soon as we were inside the cabin. Ash dropped everything, picked me up, and carried me to the bedroom.