18. Ash
Chapter Eighteen
Ash
B y the time I was done with her, I was done, too. How long had it been since I’d fucked until I couldn’t fuck anymore?
Everything about Lorraine was different. For the first time in three centuries, I was completely satiated. I hadn’t felt this satisfied since Ava.
I growled with frustration as soon as I thought it. Dammit, Lorraine was not supposed to be the same as Ava. I didn’t care about her the way I had about that woman. I couldn’t be tied up in the same mess.
This was the worst possible place for history to repeat itself.
Lorraine fell asleep after we’d orgasmed and changed positions and orgasmed again, too many times to count. Carefully, I pulled on my clothes and crept out of the room so that I didn’t wake her.
I stepped out of the cabin and closed the door silently behind me before I turned toward the dusk. The sun had set, and although it wasn’t dark yet, I could smell the promise of night in the air, taste it on my tongue.
I walked across the clearing in front of the cabin deep in thought. I was in danger of falling for Lorraine if we kept this up. Seduction was my gift—I could make any woman want me—but it wasn’t supposed to be the other way around. She could get me worked up and ready by just looking at me, and women didn’t usually have that power over me.
It didn’t have anything to do with how I felt about her. It couldn’t.
“Well, that was interesting.” Dolus was suddenly in front of me.
I froze. “What was?”
“Is this going to be a problem?”
I shook my head. “You better not be commenting on my sex life.”
“You better not be talking to a god that way,” Dolus clapped back. Right. He was a god. I still had to respect him, even when he commented on my day with Lorraine.
I growled at the back of my throat, but I tried to bring my irritation under control. When I walked toward the trees, Dolus fell into step beside me.
“I thought you were serious about a fresh start,” he said.
“I am.”
“So, you’re not stuck on this one?”
“I’m not,” I said tightly. “It’s just sex, for fuck’s sake.”
“Is it?”
“Are you trying to tell me it’s not?”
Dolus shook his head. “All I’m saying is that you need to know what you want, and make it happen. You can’t be attached to anything in this life you’re trying to leave behind, or it doesn’t work. The magic just won’t allow it.”
I cursed under my breath. “It’s not going to be a problem.”
Dolus studied me in silence for a beat before he nodded.
“Good,” he said. “Because you’re looking for trouble if you’re going to involve yourself with a human again. I would have thought you learned your lesson the first time.”
I pulled my lips back in a snarl, but I didn’t snap at Dolus the way I wanted to. He was a god. Besides, he had a point. I wanted this, but I was dangerously close to making the same mistake twice.
“It won’t be a problem,” I said gruffly instead.
“Are you sure?”
“Don’t you trust me?”
Dolus shrugged. “Sometimes, the facts speak for themselves. You show me how serious you are by tying up the loose ends in your life, and I’ll know if you’re sure.”
Damn the fucking bond I’d forged with Lorraine! I hadn’t kept my cock in my pants, and now I was stuck in this life, stuck with her, until All Hallows’ Eve, when the magic came to a point. Only then could I sever the bond and move on with my life.
I should have thought harder before sleeping with her.
The problem was that when I was around her, I stopped thinking altogether and just did. I did what felt good. I did what felt right.
“I’ll be ready,” I grumbled.
Dolus nodded.
Warmth and light moved through the trees, and a deer appeared. It nibbled on the grass. Magic shivered over my skin.
Dolus glanced at me once before he vanished into thin air.
A moment later, Artemis appeared through the trees. She smiled at me. “I was hoping I would run into you tonight,” she said.
I stifled a groan. Was every fucking god and goddess going to look me up tonight? All I wanted was to go to my tree and be alone, relishing the aftermath of the most incredible sex I’d ever had—and with the gift of seduction, that was a feat—but everyone had to come bother me.
“How are you, Ash?” Artemis asked. “You look… better.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I’m fine.”
Artemis tilted her head. “What has you so riled up?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know what it is…” She frowned and studied me. “I can’t put my finger on it, but something about you is different.”
“Must be the way the light falls on my skin,” I said sarcastically.
Artemis chuckled softly, humor in her eyes. “You have such a funny sense of humor.”
I wasn’t trying to be funny.
“Come, let’s walk together. Tell me how things have been for you the past couple of days. Philotes tells me that the human is still around, and you’re looking after her.”
“I have to,” I said.
“You know you don’t have to do it,” Artemis said.
I wasn’t going to tell her about the bond I’d forged by sleeping with Lorraine. That would just open a whole new can of worms, and I wasn’t in the mood for another lecture from Artemis.
“She can’t fend for herself if they come after her, and the magic in the vale will keep her safe.”
Not to mention that because of our bond, she couldn’t leave the vale even if she wanted to. Dammit, it would have been better if she did so I could move on with my life and stop going back to her. I was drawn to her, and as long as she was here, she was bound to me, but I couldn’t seem to get away from her, either.
I had to cut her out of my life if I wanted things with Dolus to work out.
“What else have you been up to?” Artemis asked. “Rowan says you’re really busy.”
“Does everyone talk about everyone around here?” I asked. “Or is it just me you’re all gossiping about?”
“Come now, Ash. You know we’re all worried about you.”
I sighed. “It would be nice if you all could just mind your own business once in a while, instead of sticking your noses into mine.”
“Do you mean the human?” Artemis asked. “Or are you talking about other business?”
“Either way, it’s my business, isn’t it?”
Artemis frowned. “You’re not usually like this. What’s bothering you?”
“I’m no different than usual,” I said.
“You are. You’re angry. Irritated. Something about you feels… dark.” Her frown deepened. “What have you been doing?”
“Nothing,” I said.
“Ash…”
“Could you just leave me alone? I don’t mean disrespect, I’m just… I’m tired. I want to go to my tree and sleep.”
Artemis looked like she wanted to say something, but she only nodded.
“Thanks,” I said, and walked past her.
“You know you can talk to me, whatever it is,” she said. “I’ve always been here.”
She was right. She was the one who’d pulled me back when I’d given up my immortality for Ava. If anyone wanted to be there for me, it was Artemis. I appreciated the goddess, but I didn’t want her to know everything I was doing. I didn’t want her to be disappointed about the bond, and I couldn’t tell her I was bending the rules to leave this life behind.
She would disapprove of the former. She would be furious about the latter.
Either way, I was a big boy and could look after myself. I didn’t need goddesses babysitting me, no matter how good their intentions.
“Sleep well, Ash,” she said gently. “Look after yourself. You’re more precious than you realize.”
I waved over my shoulder at her, shrugging off her words, but my stomach twisted. I was playing with fire, and I had to be very careful that I didn’t get burned.