32. Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-One
Aliko
I’m starting to worry that I’m getting sick, but I don’t think it’s a physical thing that’s bothering me. I think I’m just so tired of pretending. Of hiding. No matter where I go, I can’t be myself—and that really sucks.
But I felt more like myself up on land with Leif than I do down here, in the quiet darkness of the ocean. It’s lonely. Cold. Worse than it was before, now that I know the warmth of love.
I fucking hate it.
Which is why I have to go. I need to leave. When I think of when I came back here, I still don’t understand why I did it in the first place. But it doesn’t matter… because I did. Now I just need to fix it.
If only I could find my amulet.
The ocean is huge. My father could have hidden it anywhere. He could have destroyed it. Something tells me he didn’t go that far, and I guess worst case, I’ll take his. I still want to know what that is all about, but I can’t get an answer from him down here. Maybe one day.
When my parents are out dealing with Council stuff, I look in their cave, but I find nothing. It’s empty, as are all of our caves. We don’t have personal items or beds the way they do up on land. We have nothing but the water around us.
I check the cave each day they’re out, thinking I’m missing something.
I check other places around the colony too, but there are so many places it could be.
So many rocks it could be under, or even just buried in the sand.
He could have gone miles just to keep it away from me.
It’s not like he has a mattress to hide it under or a box to lock it in.
I’ve searched so many times for this damn amulet, but I’m feeling discouraged now. He doesn’t want me to have it, and because of that, I don’t think I’ll get it.
My parents’ cave is just like all the others. Large enough to fit two kraken. I’ve checked every crevice, every jagged rock that looked like it didn’t belong.
Nothing.
So, I do what I always do—I give up.
I’m rounding the corner of rock when I nearly bump into someone and nearly jump out of my skin.
Mother.
I can see the confusion in the way she shifts to look at where I was coming from, and it’s clear she can sense my guilt by the way I reacted.
I don’t know what she’s doing here. We don’t have clocks, but I know it hasn’t been long enough for her to put in a full day, like she always does.
I move to go around her, but she puts an arm out, stopping me. Dread hits me. This is it. This is my last chance. She’s going to tell my father, and he’s going to tell everyone and they’re going to vote to kill me.
But her touch is gentle. When she urges me away, it isn’t with a rough grip.
Hope blooms inside me as we move in the opposite direction of where my father should be.
We go past her cave and a few others before she stops, her arm sliding down to mine and holding it.
She holds it in a way that makes me feel warm inside.
In a way you’d think a mother should hold her child. In a way I saw them do on land.
She moves to the large wall and sticks an arm into a hole that seems to go on forever. When she pulls it out, the amulet is in her grasp.
I don’t understand…
She offers it to me, but I hesitate to take it. She urges it forward, putting another arm on me in a gentle way.
I don’t know what this means. I don’t know what is going to happen. But I have to take it.
I have to. I can’t stay here. I need to be with Leif.
So, I do what no kraken has ever done. I wrap her in all of my arms, as best I can. A hug. Something that has her flinching because she doesn’t understand, but maybe she will, some day. I hold on for a long time.
When I pull away, I take the amulet and shoot up toward the surface.
I’ve never swam so fast in my life, and when the water starts to lighten, the surface right there, I pause and stare at the amulet.
I can’t be sure it’ll work. I could go out there like this, but that would be…
just more than I’m willing to deal with right now.
Who knows how the humans would react? I can’t cause panic or chaos. I need this amulet to work.
I take a metaphorical deep breath, let it out, then press the amulet to my chest.
My skin tingles, and then I feel it.
The shift.
Happiness fills every ounce of my being, even in this giant body. I swim to the top before the shift is even complete, breaking the surface and sucking in the fresh air. Warmth. Salt. Humans. Okay, maybe not humans from this far off, but in my head, I can definitely smell them.
The coast is a couple of miles, but it won’t take me long to get there. So I go, and before I know it, my feet are sinking into the sand. I’m up to my waist before I realize I have a big problem.
I’m naked, and I have nothing to wear.
“Hey, you’re Aliko Anson!”
I glance to my right and see someone lying on a surfboard. Human. Early twenties.
“That’s me,” I say with a grin.
“Holy shit, man. I didn’t think I’d see you like this.” He laughs. “Wow, no one is ever going to believe this happened.”
“Tell you what? You find me some pants to put on, and I’ll sign whatever you want.”
His eyes widen. “You serious?”
“Deadly. I just got back from a visit with my family and lost my bag on the way.”
“Bummer, man. But yeah, totally. Give me a few.” He paddles toward the beach, grabbing his board and running over to one of the shops.
He pops out the doors about five minutes later, no board, but with some sort of clothing in his hand.
Hopefully it’s big enough. He wades out to me and hands over a pair of shorts.
“It’s the biggest size they had, man. Hope they fit.”
I take them and try to discreetly pull them on without making things awkward. The guy doesn’t seem to care; all he’s focused on is the fact that I’m a famous drummer standing in front of him… naked.
“Thank you so much for this,” I say. “Seriously. You’re a life saver.”
“No problem, man.”
We make our way out of the water and go over to the shop, where he left his stuff. Turns out he’s friends with the guy who runs it. I sign a bunch of things and take so many photos I lose count, and I promise to come back and sign some new kraken merch they have coming in.
Can’t wait to see what that looks like.
When I step out of the shop, I’m feeling hopeful. I’m not far from my home, and getting there is all I need to do right now. I need to get there and then I can get to Leif.
Only when I head toward the road, there’s a now-familiar human man walking toward me, his face grim.
“Fuck,” I mutter, shaking my head as I puff out my chest and quicken my pace. “I am not going back with you,” I say sternly.
“I know,” he says, his voice softer than I expected.
My body deflates. I scratch the back of my neck.
“You know?”
“I won’t ask you to come back again, Aliko, if this is what you want to do.”
“I don’t understand,” I say.
He sighs. “I can’t control your actions. Keeping you there is a risk for me, for everything I’ve built. What’s the point?”
“You could have me killed. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”
I’m being slightly sarcastic of course, but I don’t expect his answer regardless.
“Do you really think I would do that?”
It shocks me, but I don’t show it.
“It’s the kraken way.”
“You’re my son.”
“Yes. Your son, the failure.”
“Aliko—” He grits his teeth, looking away. After a few beats, he says, “Okay, yes. You’re right. You have not lived up to my expectations, but maybe… maybe I was too hard on you.”
“It’s the kraken way,” I say again.
“Yes. It is. And if that’s not for you…” He sighs. “I’d rather you be here than dead.”
I huff a laugh. “Well thanks for that.” I cross my human arms over my chest. “What about what people will think?”
He shrugs a shoulder. “There’s nothing I can do about that. It’s out of my hands. And I guess… well, it’s not like I have to worry about any of them finding out what you’ve done. They have no way to. And you… look different, so maybe it won’t be an issue.”
“I don’t want to make problems for the colony. I just want to be up here.”
He nods. “I don’t understand, but… it’s your choice. You’re an adult.”
It falls quiet again, just the laughing and chatting people on the beach, not paying any mind to us.
“Can I visit?” I ask.
“That’s probably not wise.”
“Will you visit?” I ask carefully.
A flicker of something passes in his crystal blue eyes. “Maybe.”
“How can you shift?” I ask.
He looks at the ring on his hand, running the thumb of his other hand over it. “It’s an heirloom that is passed down from leader to leader.”
“So, this whole time… you’ve known?”
“Only recently. It’s a secret kept, not known by the others.”
“Mother?”
He shakes his head. “It’s a secret only for the head of the colony. We are to tell no one.”
“But you told me…” I say.
This whole conversation is unbelievable.
“I told you,” he says, before clearing his throat. “I’m sorry things have to be this way, Aliko. Maybe one day they will be different.”
“Yeah, maybe one day…” I give him a small smile.
He smiles in return.
I step toward him and wrap him in a hug with only my human arms. He doesn’t hug me back. But that’s okay. It’s not the kraken way.
“Take care of yourself. And mother,” I say.
“You too, son.”
We share another smile and then I leave, because I have somewhere I need to be.