Chapter 43 #2
Joy still wouldn't turn around to look at him and not having her eyes made Ace’s jaw tick with an unfamiliar feeling that threatened to morph into anger.
He stalked towards her and gripped her hips, turning her to look at him. “So be that here. No one said you had to go back there to be yourself. You can have anything you want here with people who actually care about you.”
“For how long?” Joy asked. Her voice was no longer soft and meek with regret. It was hard and cold with memories of abandonment.
“Excuse me?” Ace’s tone matched hers. Cold. Angry. And filled with the pain of watching the woman he loved back away from him both physically and emotionally.
“You claim you want me now and you don’t care about who I am but how long will that last? Who’s to say I won’t fuck things up for you the way I did back home?”
Ace gripped her face roughly. “I don’t give a fuck.
You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you.
How long I’ve waited to find someone who saw me and got me.
You don’t think I can love you because you don’t love you but that’s fine.
I’ll love you enough for the both of us.
I’ll show you how to love yourself but don’t leave me. Don’t do that shit. I need you.”
Ace was desperate, pleading. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. The pain he felt watching Joy slip away was worse than any bullet he could take.
“Please Joy,” he begged, unnerved by her silence.
Externally, Joy was expressionless, but inside, she was a raging war of uncertainty. The look in Ace’s eyes and the crack in his voice slowly broke her down.
She didn’t want to leave him.
He’d given her something she’d never experienced and loved her back to health when she was drowning. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him but the voice in her head…
The one that had been shouting commands at her since she was eight.
The one that trained her to be the ruthless machine she now was.
The one she took orders from for almost twenty years.
The one she thought she silenced.
It was back.
“You are my soldier, princess and one day you’ll be the queen of this empire we’re building. Love is not something you need to be chasing. You’re meant for more than that.”
“Love comes and goes. Power and legacy last forever.”
“There are women who are meant to love a man with power and there are women who are meant to hold the power. Very rarely can the two coexist.”
Byron’s words to her over the years about love all came back to her and they warred with the ones that Ace had tried to replace them with.
She wanted to keep living this fairytale but she knew that the clock had struck midnight. The carriage would return to a pumpkin and the lover would turn back into a soldier.
“Ace…,” Joy started, reaching up to hold his face. “I… I have to go. This is what I’ve been working a whole year for. This is what I’ve been working my whole life for… I can’t just give it up.”
“I’m not asking you to. If you want Texas, we can take it together.”
“I’m not interested in going from one man’s pawn to another.”
Ace released a humorless chuckle and Joy could see the hurt in his eyes.
“Pawn. Really? That’s what you think I want you for? To use you?”
Joy looked away, unable to stomach the pain in his voice and the shame of her assumption.
“Nah look at me. Look me in my eyes and tell me that you’re reducing my love for you to being a pawn,” Ace demanded, gripping her chin to bring her eyes back to him.
“I know your daddy fucked you up real good but let me tell you something Joy… I have my kingdom already. I don’t need you.
Not for that. You could walk out that door right now and nothing around this motherfucka changes.
I need you for me. I need you around because I want you around.
If you want to be my queen and rule beside me, the throne is yours.
If you want to practice law I have an office for you.
Shit If you want to stay home and bake fucking cookies all day, I’ll make sure you have the best commercial-grade oven.
It’s your world my love, all I ask is that you let me live in it. ”
“Since I was 11, my only goal has been to run the Cartel. You of all people should understand that.”
“You of all people should understand that I’m not trying to stop you from doing that. Shit if you want the Cartel, me and my niggas can ride down there and help you take it.”
“I don’t need your help.”
“I know you don’t.”
“I don’t want it either.”
“Well goddamnit, what do you want, Joy?” Ace roared.
“I… Damn you Ace, I don't know!” she yelled back. “I used to know. I thought I knew. My goal was so clear until you came around and started making me feel different.”
“Baby I know what you’re searching for by going back, but you won’t find that in Houston.
Your daddy left you for dead until he needed you then letting punk ass Jermaine come up here and fuck with you should tell you that.
But you’ll find it here. With me. I love you Joy.
Fire and all. Darkness and all. Violence and all. ”
Tears streamed down Joy’s face and Ace could see the war in her eyes so he kissed her. He kissed her hard and deep. She wasn’t hearing him so maybe she needed to feel him. Maybe he could pour his love for her into her body from his own.
Joy kissed him back with equal fervor. She clung to him and Ace did the same, afraid that once he let her go, she would vanish.
He’d finally found the love he’d been wanting all his life in Joy and he had no desire to give her up, especially not to her father and a group of motherfuckas who didn’t appreciate her or value her the way he did.
He’d nursed her heart back to health after they hurt her and helped her find the acceptance and beauty in her darkness. He’d be damned if she took everything he gave to her away and gave it back to people who didn’t deserve her.
Their kisses turned into bruising ones of teeth clashing and lip biting. The anger, pain, and sadness from both of them crashing against each other like waves against the shore.
Before they knew it, Ace had removed their clothes and tumbled them both onto the bed.
He took possession of her hands and interlocked their fingers, holding her hands above her head as he thrust himself inside of her. They both groaned as he stretched her walls.
With rough, deep strokes, Ace made love to her. Unlike the times before, it wasn’t slow or sensual. It was rough, passionate, and possessive. Joy happily accepted everything he had to give.
He kissed her lips and bit her chin and shoulder. He wanted to mark her so she’d carry reminders of him.
“Who this pussy belong to Rose?” Ace grunted.
“You,” Joy moaned looking into his eyes. “Only you.”
“Why you tryna take my pussy away from me baby? Huh? What else I gotta do to prove my love for you?”
Joy didn’t speak. She shook her head with tears in her eyes but Ace wasn’t satisfied.
“Nah stop all that crying. You want me to wet the whole state of Texas up? Huh? You want that, Rose?” he asked between punishing thrusts.
“You want me to make the Gulf of Mexico run red baby? Would that take a lil of your pain away if I wiped every nigga off the map who made you hurt like this? Take out everybody them niggas care about so they can see how it feels to live in this world not knowing if there’s a motherfucka out there who loves them? ”
His grip tightened with every desperate word.
Women and children have always been a line Ace didn’t cross but he was willing to make an exception if it would heal even a little bit of Joy’s pain.
The thought made him feel fucked up but he’d carry those demons if it meant Joy felt a bit of vindication and peace.
He felt Joy grip him at his violent offering and he smiled, loving the way her darkness matched his, even when she tried to hide it.
“N-no,” she answered as her body began trembling.
“You coming for me baby?”
“Mhm,” Joy moaned.
“Give me that shit then.”
Ace fucked her through her orgasm then fucked her into another one and he wasn’t far behind. He didn’t stop though. They went round after round, savoring and depleting each other like they knew it would be the last time.
Ace gazed down at Joy’s beautiful face, contorted in pleasure. Categorizing each inch of brown skin his eyes could reach. Bringing his hand up, he lightly stroked her cheek and traced the outline of his full lips.
“I fucking love you, Joy,” he said as his release rolled through him. He didn’t hear her answer before sleep consumed him and he laid on top of her, still inside of her.
Ace wasn’t sure what time it was when he awoke to feather-light kisses being placed all over his face.
“I love you… Thank you,” Joy whispered before the bed dipped and the warmth of her body was taken away.
Ace never opened his eyes as he heard her move about the room, grabbing her belongings. The soft click of the door shutting behind her sounded off in his head like a grenade but he didn’t follow. He just squeezed his eyes shut and tried to ignore the cracks spreading in his chest.